Yet Another UK Campaign Debate With Renfield

June 2, 2017 at 4:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was visiting Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing over in England.

They decided to drive up to the town of Tewkesbury to see British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative candidate Renfield R. Renfield in action.

Renfield’s campaign debate comments and antics had become the talk of the British nation in what was otherwise a very dull election campaign.

At his most recent campaign debate, he had held up a very realistic looking replica severed head of American comedian Kathy Griffin.

Qonzilqointec and Dracul had arrived at the town hall in Tewkesbury just in time for the debate to begin.

The subject of the debate was the United Kingdom’s Place In The Modern World.

Renfield wore a t-shirt with a photoshopped picture of himself peering out from the knockers of Demi Lovato wearing a low-cut dress.

When the subject came to the issue of Anglo-Latin American relations, Renfield suddenly dashed behind a changing screen.

He then returned wearing a tight-fitting flashy matador’s costume and hat.

He grabbed the microphone and began singing his own personal paraphrase of an old Tom Jones song:

That young new Mexican puppeteer
all the people they all lived in fear
of that young new Mexican puppeteer
He took some fire and he took some wood
he made a puppet and he looked good
and played strings like only a puppeteer could…

“He must be singing about my spiritual godfather Quetzalcoatl when he showed up in Mexico centuries ago,” Qonzilqointec whispered to Dracul Van Helsing.

“Only Renfield can come up with a song that’s better than the original,” Dracul answered.

“Madame Chairwoman,” sitting incumbent British Conservative MP Agathor Christie got up from his chair and angrily addressed debate moderator Sherrielock Holmes, “I really must strenuously object to Candidate Renfield’s comments and antics during these Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds constituency campaign debates. He’s making me look positively boring by comparison.”

“Agathor,” Sherrielock Holmes admonished, “Even if you were in a room all by yourself, you’d still look positively boring by comparison.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 2nd
2017.

2 Comments

  1. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    HA! πŸ˜› Sherrielock Holmes’ comment to Agathor made me snort-laugh! πŸ˜€
    I was thinking before she gave that response…Renfield could make ANY meeting or debate fun, exciting, shocking, memorable, ha! I wish he had been at some of the meetings (for work, etc.) that I’ve had to sit through! I am usually the one to start something and get the people around me laughing. πŸ˜€
    HUGS!!! πŸ™‚

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      You and Renfield would get along very well at boring meetings together by the sounds of it then. πŸ™‚

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