Pan Goatee Continues To Battle Earth’s Aesthetic Decay

August 7, 2017 at 6:21 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, )

Pan Goatee Continues To Battle Earth’s Aesthetic Decay

Pan Goatee was pissed.

Because the fake news media was continuing to rave about Al Gore’s new movie An Inconvenient Sequel.

Although mercifully the movie bombed at the box office winding up in 15th place.

Of course 2 years ago, Pope Francis had released his papal encyclical on climate change called Laudato Si.

The encyclical Laudato Si quoted a lot from evolutionist Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

“What fools these mortals be,” the genetically created (and possibly immortal satyr serial killer) thought to himself.

Didn’t these apostate Popes and numerous New Agers realize that this Teilhard they admired so much was a racist who hated the Chinese and black Africans?

The real problem facing Earth was not climate change.

It was the decline of earthly aesthetics and beauty caused by the high proportion of ugly looking women on the planet particularly in North America.

Ironically Teilhardianily speaking it was Asia and Africa which still had high proportions of beautiful women while it was North America (where Teilhard had croaked and bit the proverbial paleontological dust back in 1955) which was positively crawling with 2-legged dogs, humanoid cows and flesh encased dirigible blimps.

Recently while going to a burger 🍔 bar to eat a hamburger, two fat humanoid cows walked in front of him.

He promptly cut their heads off with an astral laser machete.

Although the sight of them had already done its damage.

Pan Goatee had lost his appetite for eating a hamburger.

He promptly went to a Japanese sushi bar where the sight of lovely Japanese waitresses inspired him to eat tempura and teriyaki beef.

Then a few days ago he was heading to a juice bar to order his favourite brand of mango and coconut juice when an ugly repulsive looking flesh encased dirigible blimp walked in front of him.

He once again used his astral laser machete and promptly cut the ugly thing’s head off.

Having lost his appetite for mango and coconut juice as a result of the appearance of the Hellish DNA aberration that crossed his path, he went to a bar and downed a dozen whiskeys 🥃.

Then today while he was getting off a subway train, a two legged dog tried to get on in front of him.

The ugly thing with buck teeth and hideous looking glasses was promptly beheaded by Pan Goatee’s astral laser machete.

Then when he was riding a bus later, a woman (and Pan Goatee used that term loosely) who was a hideous combination of 2-legged dog, humanoid cow and flesh encased dirigible blimp was sitting on the sidewalk in front of a bus stop with her hideous elephant sized legs stretching out on to the road.

The ghastly sight caused the poor bus driver to swerve out of control and plunge the bus down a hillside where it crashed and killed everybody on board with the exception of Pan Goatee.

“Well I guess that answers that question about whether or not I’m mortal or immortal,” Pan Goatee thought to himself as he crawled out of a bus window.

He promptly walked uphill to the bus stop where he beheaded the ugly repulsive looking chimera hybrid creature of 2-legged dog, humanoid cow and flesh encased dirigible blimp with one stroke of his astral laser machete.

“And to think Teilhard talks about humanity evolving towards an Omega Point,” Pan seethed, “instead we’re devolving to an inglorious end. And the problem is aesthetic deterioration not climate change.”

But unlike Al Gore’s hypothesis, his (Pan Goatee’s) intellectually formulated observation was the Inconvenient Truth that dare not speak its name.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 7th
2017.

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