The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow Rises Again

September 30, 2017 at 3:15 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal was visiting the village of Sleepy Hollow near Tarrytown in northern New York state.

She was searching for the grave of a former lover of hers- a Hessian military officer who fought for the Hanoverian king George III during the American Revolutionary War and who got his head shot off by a stray cannonball much to his dismay.

The officer’s name was Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden.

Allatallahbel found the grave of the Headless Horseman Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden in the forest a few miles out of town from the village of Sleepy Hollow.

Vampiress Allatallahbel Near The Grave of The Headless Horseman

A large gravestone and marker for the grave had been paid for by the government of Germany back in 1933 shortly after a man named Adolf Hitler had been appointed Chancellor of Germany.

The reason for building a gravestone marker for the long dead headless Hessian officer were known only to Allatallahbel and Adolf.

After standing beside the gravestone marker and reflecting for a while, Allatallahbel then stood back and chanted a spell that was given her by the ancient Egyptian god Thoth.

Thoth had recently returned to this particular spatial/temporal dimension.

On the day of the full lunar eclipse across the U.S.- August 21st 2017- in fact.

After chanting the spell, she waited.

The headless Hessian officer then arose from the grave along with his horse (for he had been buried with his horse).

Allatallahbel then gave the Headless Horseman his instructions.

The Horseman saluted (even though he had no head to salute on) and rode off.

He stopped off in front of a store in Tarrytown and broke the store’s front window and helped himself to a carved Jack O’ Lantern pumpkin which he immediately put on top of his shoulders.

He then rode all the way to downtown Manhattan.

Many New York City policemen tried to stop the Headless Horseman but he beheaded them with his regimental sword.

The policemen’s beheadings were met with cheers by supporters of the Black Lives Matter movement.

The Headless Horseman passed a television set in a department store window where Pope Francis was doing a stand-up comedy routine in which he claimed the apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia was a Thomist document.

The Headless Horseman could be heard cackling through his carved Jack O’ Lantern teeth.

Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden then rode down to the New York City docks where he and his horse boarded a ship bound for Europe.

He hoped the ship would arrive in Europe before Halloween.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 30th
2017.

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Renfield Reflects On Hugh Hefner’s Death

September 29, 2017 at 4:21 pm (Commentary, Culture, News) (, , , )

Renfield Reflects On Hugh Hefner’s Death

“So I see Hugh Hefner the founder of Playboy magazine and the father of the Sexual Revolution has kicked the bucket,” Renfield R. Renfield MP remarked as he read The Times of London, “although I notice some of the tabloid newspapers phrase it as he has gone up to that great big mansion in the sky.”

“How do they know he hasn’t gone down to that great big fireplace down below?” Amadeus remarked between mouthfuls of peanut 🥜 butter and jam sandwiches.

Renfield found Amadeus’ remarks quite disturbing.

Later in his stately bedroom, the British Transhumanist Party MP, although an atheist, started to reflect on what would be the case if Amadeus’ belief in the afterlife was true.

Renfield picked up his red velvet dressing gown and his evening smoking pipe (inspired by the example of Hugh Hefner) and wondered if he should throw them out.

After all if the great big fireplace down below was in fact real, Renfield thought it might be a rather unpleasant experience to spend an eternity there.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 29th
2017.

Dante’s Inferno On A Friday Night:

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Haiku About Autumn 🍂

September 28, 2017 at 5:30 pm (Art, Arts, Literature, Nature, Poetry) (, , , )

Haiku About Autumn 🍂

That time when the trees
wear coats of many colours
a fall fashion show

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Kwan Yin In Banff National Park

September 27, 2017 at 3:41 pm (Fantasy, Folklore, Mythology, Nature, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Kwan Yin the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy could sense that the deer in Banff National Park were troubled by the fire in nearby Waterton Lakes National Park.

Their animal senses picked up that something was wrong.

So Kwan Yin went to Banff National Park to comfort the deer.

Kwan Yin The Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy

Kwan Yin her mercy
extends to all God’s creatures
even tiny deer

-A vampire novel chapter
and haiku
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 27th
2017.

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Allatallahbel Swims To Nephthys’ Undersea Tomb

September 26, 2017 at 3:37 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal had hired two London private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley to track down the sole surviving Vampiric Knights-Templar for her.

She had also hired another London private eye Randall Hopkins to spy on the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set for her (Randall Hopkins accepted the case immediately since he had prior experience spying on Set having been hired by the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis to do just that 3 years ago).

Randall Hopkins had broke into Set’s house where he located a couriered document sent to Set by the German government.

Apparently a World War One German UB-II U-Boat submarine had just been found off the coast of Belgium.

According to the sub’s last manifest written down before its last voyage (the manifest was found in the German National Archives) the Egyptian vampiress Nephthys (Set’s long lost wife) was on board the vessel.

When Set read the courier document, he practically shit himself.

After using up the mansion’s entire rolls of toilet paper, Set then flew to Atlanta Georgia to meet former U.S. President Jimmy Carter.

Set figured that if Carter could negotiate a successful peace treaty between Egypt and Israel (like he did back in 1978), then he could successfully negotiate an amicable divorce agreement between Nephthys and himself if Nephthys was still alive.

Allatallahbel decided to swim to the spot where the sub was located (she had seduced a German Federal cabinet minister to tell her the location) to see for herself whether Nephthys was alive or dead.

When she emerged and walked back to her Belgian B and B, a group of ex-DARPA operatives on a European tour snapped her pic with their smart phones.

Allatallahbel

One ex-DARPA op named Daniel (who had an otter following behind him) started to curse, “Dang! I forgot to recharge my smart phone battery!”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 26th
2017.

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Dracul Van Helsing Meets The Norse Goddess Freya

September 25, 2017 at 3:27 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The results of the German national election were in.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel had won a 4th term in office.

But the far-right ultra-nationalist AfD (Alternative fur Deutschland) came in 3rd place in the number of seats they won in the German Bundestag.

The Norse goddess Freya knew this would amount to trouble.

Already the Germanic god Wotan (whose Norse name was Odin) was making plans with the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf to take advantage of AfD’s surprising showing.

Ever since the bloodshed unleashed by German leaders Kaiser Wilhelm II and Fuhrer Adolf Hitler during the 20th Century, Freya thought of herself as more a Norse goddess rather than a Germanic goddess.

Today she would be meeting with vampire hunter and MI-6 agent Dracul Van Helsing to discuss the German election result and AfD’s showing.

Given his background in investigating matters supernatural and paranormal, Dracul would take note of Freya’s knowledge of the dark supernatural forces involved in AfD’s upsurge in popularity among the German electorate.

Plus Dracul Van Helsing was friends with British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield believed to be Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II’s most favoured choice to become Prime Minister should a National Unity coalition government be formed in the Westminster Parliament.

Freya sat there waiting for him.

The Norse Goddess Freya

Dracul Van Helsing approached.

“Are you ready to get started?” Freya asked.

“Yes,” Dracul answered, “but only if you take me over your knee and spank me first.”

“All right,” Freya adjusted her gray mini dress for she had been expecting this request, “lay across my skirt and I’ll spank you.”

She had heard that Dracul had made this request of other goddesses and vampiresses before entering into delicate negotiations.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 25th
2017.

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Westminster MPs’ Stand-Up Comedy Night For Charity

September 24, 2017 at 7:33 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Westminster MPs’ Stand-Up Comedy Night For Charity

A group of MPs from the Westminster Parliament in London were holding a dinner and a stand-up comedy night to raise money for charity.

Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont decided to attend the dinner.

The dinner was good but then it came time for some of the MPs to perform.

The first one up was British Prime Minister Theresa May.

Said Mrs. May, “I hear there are some here in the Conservative caucus who want to replace me as party leader and as Prime Minister. Since my last name is May, it makes me glad that there’s no one named June in the Tory caucus.”

Mrs. May’s joke fell flatter than a Hollywood starlet’s pre-silicone injection brassiere.

The next up was British Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.

His routine of “Well, you can call me Johnson or you can call me BJ…” didn’t go over so well either.

Third and last was Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Renfield began,

“Have you ever wondered what would happen if two immature kids fighting in a playground had access to nuclear weapons?

Well with Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un, we’re about to find out…”

Amadeus winced.

Renfield’s observation was a little too close to the truth to laugh at.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday September 24th
2017.

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Allatallahbel In Clear Waters On A Still Night

September 23, 2017 at 7:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

Allatallahbel In Clear Waters On A Still Night

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal lay back in the clear waters of the lake.

The night sky 🌌 above her reflected in the waters as she lay.

Allatallahbel wore a bright gold evening dress that shone like the noon day sun.

Below her feet was the reflection of the moon.

The planet Jupiter seemed to reflect just above her belly.

Above her head shone the planets Venus, Mars and Mercury as well as the 9 stars of the constellation Leo reflecting in the waters.

The constellation Virgo reflected on the tranquil waters of the entire lake itself in which Allatallahbel lay.

Suddenly a water snake 🐍 swam out from under her dress giving the impression that she had just given birth to it.

At that very moment the lid of the sarcophagus of Alexander the Great opened in the great Macedonian conquerer’s undiscovered tomb.

Also at that very moment, a huge storm arose on the Sea of Galilee.

And no Nazarene carpenter’s son around to still it.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 23rd
2017.

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Day of The Autumn Equinox In Astana Kazakhstan

September 22, 2017 at 6:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Day of The Autumn Equinox in Astana Kazakhstan 🇰🇿

The Buddhist Goddess of Mercy Kwan Yin was walking the streets of Astana Kazakhstan 🇰🇿 where this year’s Expo 2017 had taken place.

She was startled to see the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith walking the streets along with the Persian Zoroastrian god of evil Ahriman as well as a grey wolf 🐺 and a Russian Eurasian brown bear 🐻.

Kwan Yin could see the grey wolf 🐺 was possessed by the spirit of Adolf Hitler and the Russian Eurasian brown bear 🐻 was possessed by the spirit of Grigori Rasputin.

What were they up to? Kwan Yin wondered to herself.

Behind Kwan Yin, television sets in a store window showed North Korean despot Kim Jong-un watching the music video to Sir Elton John’s song Rocket Man while Donald Trump could be seen looking up the word “dotard” in a medieval 14th Century English dictionary.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 22nd
2017.

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An Aztec Vampiress, A London Car Show and The Tesla Particle Death Beam

September 21, 2017 at 3:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in her research on the subject discovered that only the Nikola Tesla Particle Death Beam would be capable of destroying the Caribbean Sea kraken Uhluhtc.

And she discovered that the Tesla Particle Death Beam was an accessory on British sanity challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s new self-driving electric car The Rocher Le Pied de Hermes which was now on display at a car show in London, England.

The self-driving Rocher Le Pied de Hermes electric car had been given its first test this past spring (Please read https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/04/04/dr-cadbury-rocher-and-his-incredible-self-driving-car/ for details of how that test went).

Dr. Rocher had drastically improved his self-driving electric car since that disastrous first test.

He had also added a new feature to the Rocher Le Pied de Hermes self-driving electric car at the suggestion of Renfield R. Renfield (now a British Member of Parliament).

Renfield’s suggestion was for what he called a Car Owner’s Road Rage Anger Management Button.

And it was this little feature which incorporated the Tesla Particle Death Beam.

If some obnoxious other driver or a car horn pissed off the self-driving electric car’s owner, the owner or even a passenger could push the Car Owner’s Road Rage Anger Management Button

The Car Owner’s Road Rage Anger Management Button had arrows surrounding it and depending on which arrowly direction the Road Rage Anger Management Button was pushed, it would fire a Tesla Particle Death Beam either in front, either side of or the back of the vehicle and disintegrate the offending other vehicle and obnoxious driver (to say nothing of the passengers) into sweet oblivion.

Qonzilqointec enlisted the help of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in stealing the Tesla Particle Death Beam off the vehicle at the London car show.
Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec
Qonzilqointec plans to commit Grand Auto Theft with Dracul Van Helsing at the London Car Show

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 21st
2017.

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