Vampiress Priestess of Baal Hires Two London Private Eyes

September 13, 2017 at 6:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Vampiress Priestess of Baal Hires Two London Private Eyes

Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley were both sitting in their newly opened London office.

Agathor Christie had been the sitting incumbent British Conservative MP for the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds until he got defeated by British Transhumanist Party candidate Renfield R. Renfield in this past June’s UK ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง General Election.

Magog Rhys Petley had been been the sitting incumbent British Labour MP for the constituency of Newbridge in Wales until he got defeated by British Transhumanist Party candidate Morgana Fay Lee in this past June’s UK ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง General Election.

Since both men (although from different parties) had lost their respective parliamentary seats to candidates for the up and coming British Transhumanist Party, they decided to take a post-defeat consolation tour of the U.S. together.

Now back in London, both men decided to open up a private detective firm together since it turned out that, as children, both had loved reading Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe private eye novels and stories.

After officially opening the office and helping themselves to both bourbon ๐Ÿฅƒ and cigars, they sat back in their respective comfortable leather upholstered mahogany armchairs and waited for their first client to walk through the door.

The story on BBC World News they watched on the office television was about a Kraken rising out of Lake Okanagan in British Columbia’s Okanagan Valley and walking through a grape ๐Ÿ‡ and wine ๐Ÿท orchard near the city of West Kelowna and eating grapes ๐Ÿ‡ and drinking bottles of wine.

It then grabbed a statue of the Virgin Mary as Our Lady of Lourdes from the orchard gardens and took the statue with him back into the lake.

The vineyard owner speculated that the Kraken might be the lake’s famed sea serpent lake monster Ogopogo who was said to have haunted the lake for centuries.

“Certainly a lot of krakens rising up all over the place these days,” Agathor quipped.

“There are,” Magog quickly downed his glass of bourbon, “nasty business that.”

“I wonder if some beautiful woman femme fatale will walk in through the door wearing a tight fitting dress like always happens in Philip Marlowe stories?” Agathor asked as he polished off his glass of bourbon.

“I wonder,” Magog re-filled his glass.

At that moment, a beautiful dark haired and dark eyed woman wearing a tight fitting Phoenician purple evening dress and a diamond ๐Ÿ’Ž necklace with the diamonds cut into the shape of human skulls around her neck walked into their office with the sharp click of spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes ๐Ÿ‘ .

“I am the Vampiress Allatallahbel the Priestess of Baal,” said the incredibly sexy and beautiful female figure standing in front of them, “I’m here to hire you to find the last of the band of 13 Vampiric Knights-Templar -13 individuals who were the sole escaping survivors of French King Philip the Fair’s Friday October 13th 1307 raid on Jacques de Molay and his fellow Knights-Templar.”

“Well that answers the question you asked a few minutes ago,” Magog addressed Agathor as he finished yet another glass of bourbon.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 13th



  1. George F. said,

    “…themselves to both bourbon and cigars, they sat back in their respective comfortable leather upholstered mahogany armchairs and waited for their first client to walk through the door.” Yep. Perfect scene. All the accoutrements in place…

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, all the accoutrements are definitely in place. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • George F. said,

        …and I can’t wait to see what happens next. I’ll be going a lot of catching up here.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I hope you enjoy the previous chapters.

        I don’t know how far back you’ll be reading but if you want a good place to start, start here:

        It’s a post written just the day before British Prime Minister Theresa May called this year’s snap surprise UK General Election.

        And it’s the post where I actually introduced the character of Agathor Christie to the reader- as a then British Conservative MP.

        Of course thanks to Mrs. May calling the election, Agathor Christie wouldn’t be lasting much longer as a Conservative MP as he ends up being defeated by British Transhumanist candidate Renfield R. Renfield.

        Hence his transition to a Private Eye career. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • George F. said,

        I’ll start there! Thank you for pointing me in the right direction!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        You’re welcome. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. orvillewrong said,

    Weird and totally wonderful!!

  3. adnama72 said,

    I find your Topics and subject daring controversial. Very plausible, readable.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much. ๐Ÿ™‚

      And thanks for following my blog.

      Yes, I remember when my dad was alive, he had described my vampire novels as “something quite unique. I can’t really describe them. They seem to be in a genre and category all by themselves.”

      One of my readers Carolyn who writes under the WordPress user name doesitevenmatter3 came the closest when she said my vampire novels appear to be a mixture of mythology, current events, contemporary geopolitics and international relations, history, legends and social commentary on entertainment, film, music and contemporary pop culture.

      • adnama72 said,

        My father in law mentioned you. ‘Orville wrong Malcolm Marsh.’

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oh yes, Malcolm Marsh.

        I told your father-in-law that his Gravatar picture is the exact same mind’s eye picture I have in my mind about one of my novel’s characters Athelstan who is the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

        I gather from your father-in-law’s WordPress user name that he enjoys telling puns like I do as his WordPress user name is probably how the birds ๐Ÿฆ refer to the Wright Brothers and their invention which has led to congestion and parking problems in the sky.

      • Adnama72 - blogger said,

        Yes, I have added some more blog posts too.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I’ve noticed that you added a few more. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Adnama72 - blogger said,

        The one about my late Dad who I lost in 2014 about the poem I thought you may find interesting.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I very much enjoyed that poem. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Adnama72 - blogger said,

        I was so captivated by the theatrical way in which he performed or delivered it.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Poems, especially narrative poems, are always more interesting when presented in a dramatic fashion.

      • Adnama72 - blogger said,

        My username is my Actual birth name backwards a family quirk on my Mum’s side. My Grandpa used to read us stories like Rindicella and the prandsome hince anagrams. Lol it sparked me writing my name (Which was given to me by my Dad after looking up it’s meaning.

      • Adnama72 - blogger said,

        Amandaย is a Latin female gerundive nameย meaning”having to be loved,” “deserving to be loved,” “worthy of love,” or “loved very much by everyone.” The name “Amanda” first appeared in 1212 on a birth record from Warwickshire, England, and five centuries later the name was popularized by poets and playwrights.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s interesting to know.

      • Adnama72 - blogger said,

        J Milton Hayes. Though I think it was mistakenly attributed to Rudyard Kipling.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It does read like a poem Kipling would have written.

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