Murder On Air Force One

October 8, 2017 at 7:57 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery, Politics, Radio, Radio Ads, Satire, Short play/ comedy, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Murder On Air Force One

The new movie Murder On The Orient Express would be opening in movie theatres across the world soon.

So BBC Radio πŸ“» asked various British MPs to come up with their own theatre movie trailer radio ad for a fictional movie about a murder that takes place aboard some mode of transport.

Here was British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield’s radio ad for a movie called Murder On Air Force One:

Coming soon to a theatre near you… Murder On Air Force One…

… The President of the United States is a pompous blowhard with a phoney toupee. And now he’s been found dead aboard Air Force One. Strangled by the tail of a red spider monkey. Who has done this deed?

Was it his much younger wife who only recently found out that her husband has grabbed and clutched the pussy of many a woman galore (to use a twist of phrase from the name of a James Bond movie character)?

Was it his youngest son who was tired of his father telling him to only take small bites of his food πŸ₯˜ and not big bites like that of Ohio Gov. John Kasich?

Was it his daughter who being forced into the public spotlight as a result of her father being President, it was now discovered that some of her company’s clothing and products were made by slave labour in Communist China πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³?

Was it his Secretary of State who was recently publicly castrated by his boss in a Twitter tweet?

Was it his Secretary of Defence who after a lifelong career in the U.S. military knows an asshole when he sees one?

Was it one of numerous White House employees, aides or cabinet secretaries who have been fired since he took office? Including a White House press secretary who not only suffered for his boss but was made fun of on Saturday Night Live?

Was it one of numerous opponents who challenged him for his party’s nomination last year? A Texas senator who was called a liar πŸ€₯? A Florida senator who was told he had small hands?

Was it a Senator from Arizona – an American war hero who the President said wasn’t a hero because he was caught?

Was it the mayor of a city hit by a hurricane that the President said wasn’t a real calamity as he practised football throws with plastic packages of paper towels?

Was it the Prime Minister of a former Yugoslavian republic who got discourteously pushed out of the way at a NATO summit earlier this year?

Was it an Asian despot who had his rocket πŸš€ called little even though the said despot had his half-brother killed in a Kuala Lumpur airport for much less?

Was it a member of Antifa outraged that the only person who saw clearly that two sides were to blame for the violence at Charlottesville Virginia this past summer was the idiot who was the late American President (thus implying that America was a land of the dumb and the stupid instead of the brave and the free since neither the media journalists and commentators nor entertainment celebrities had even had the intelligence of the said idiot President to see this)?

Was it an angry 😑 woman who was the opposing Party’s Presidential candidate? A woman who talked to Eleanor Roosevelt’s ghost and who wanted to play with voodoo dolls having lost the last Presidential election to him?

Was it the woman candidate’s husband anxious to return to the White House- this time as First Laddie so he could continue his crusade of helping out detergent manufacturers by leaving nasty stains on women’s dresses?

So many suspects.

Who done it?

And it’s the job of Belgian sleuth Bellerophonie Peugeot (aboard the plane ✈️ to make Belgian waffles for the First Family) to find out.

As he goes around the plane telling people to “Touch nothing” in his Belgian accent that sounds suspiciously French, someone grabs a knapsack (mistaking it for a parachute) and jumps out of the plane.

Who done it?

One of the numerous suspects mentioned above?

Or the personage who jumped out of the plane who’s now scrambled eggs 🍳 on the earth below?

Only Belgian sleuth Bellerophonie Peugeot knows for sure.

As the Belgian waffles get very well done as the Belgian sleuth finds out Who Dun It?

Murder On Air Force One… coming soon to a theatre near you.

-A Renfieldian Radio Ad
For A Murder Mystery Movie
and a vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 8th
2017

20 Comments

  1. Adnama72Blog said,

    That was gripping, poor spider monkey. πŸ‘§it was brilliant, gripped to the End!

  2. Nada said,

    πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€” I guess it was Casper who could no more handle the smell of the filthy President in The United States America.
    πŸ€”hmm… Maybe. Maybe not. But I did overheard Casper saying that in plain English one night that the good-for-nothing president STINKS!

  3. Hyperion said,

    Clearly it was the Chinese manufacturer’s fault for using orphaned slave labor to make the Pooter in Chef’s red spider monkey toupee. The child, being an orphan from the city, would not know the spider monkey should be dead and skinned before the toupee was constructed and delivered. When the poor monkey was mounted on the emperor of twat tweets head it simply strangled the director of defecates trying to break free of its stitching and quaff down a Belgium waffle or two before grabbing a knapsack and bailing out of the air transport of Trumpulation.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Egad! You’ve solved the case, Daniel. πŸ˜ƒ

      That’s it exactly. πŸ˜‚

      • Hyperion said,

        Alimentary my dear Dracul, 😜

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Now all you have to do is make Belgian waffles and go around telling people in a Belgian accent that sounds suspiciously French to “Touch nothing.”

        Although that might earn you a wallop on the head from Tiger Mom with her wok pan if you say that to her while she’s got a craving for home Korean cooking cuisine.

      • Hyperion said,

        Oh Tiger Mom has a craving for nothing else except the cuisine of her ancient homeland. Her wok is big and her wok whack is mighty. She will, she will wok you, wok you!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        As that 1980s all-girls rock band The Bangles (or was it The Go-Gos?) sang “She’s got the beat…”

  4. Orvillewrong said,

    This just gets better – awesome!

  5. janowrite said,

    Well done! Gripping (not groping πŸ™‚ weird and witty!

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