The Wolfman and Joseph Stalin

October 30, 2017 at 7:55 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, Humour, International Intrigue, Movies, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The Wolfman and Josef Stalin

It was Christmas 1941 and Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler was enjoying a private screening of the recently released 1941 American horror film The Wolfman with Lon Chaney Jr. in the title role.

“What a delightful film,” Der Fuhrer purred as he wiped sauerkraut off his lips with his napkin, “it makes me glad that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and not Hollywood.”

“Indeed,” Nazi Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebbels agreed as he swallowed a huge German sausage.

“I have something I’d like to show your Excellency,” the Ahnenerbe scientist Dr. Fritz Falkenberg stated.

“Please, I’ve looked at enough German sausages tonight,” Der Fuhrer remarked as he sipped a pinkish fruit cocktail.

“No,” Dr. Falkenberg spoke an incantation and the character of the Wolfman emerged from the film reel projector.

“Great Odin!” Hitler shrieked.

Dr. Falkenberg spoke the incantation backwards and the Wolfman returned into the film reel projector.

“Impressive,” Der Fuhrer clapped his hands and then wiped them with a napkin.

“I have taken the liberty of mailing a copy of The Wolfman film to Soviet Communist Party General-Secretary Josef Stalin,” Dr. Falkenberg explained, “with the incantation spoken over the film. When Stalin watches the film, the Wolfman will jump from the screen and kill him.”

“I hope you haven’t mailed it using a Third Reich post mark,” Goebbels ate a Polish pickle, “otherwise Stalin won’t open it. Our two countries are at war you know.”

“I used one of our spies in Canada to mail the movie from Ottawa to Moscow,” Dr. Falkenberg explained.

What Dr. Falkenberg hadn’t counted on was the slowness of Canada’s postal service.

The film didn’t arrive in Moscow until March 5th 1953.

Stalin was attacked and killed by the screen leaping Wolfman during the course of the film.

Radio Moscow promptly attributed Stalin’s death to natural causes.

Der Fuhrer was not alive to enjoy the announcement.

-A Halloween short story
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 30th
2017.

9 Comments

  1. Orvillewrong said,

    Amusing as always, you have been sadly missed!

  2. The Wolfman and Joseph Stalin β€” Dracul Van Helsing – Suman Freelancer said,

    […] via The Wolfman and Joseph Stalin β€” Dracul Van Helsing […]

  3. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    Excellent! Amusing! Captivating!

    Canada’s postal service. Ha. πŸ˜€

    And the ending is perfect!

    How are things going? How are you doing?
    (((HUGS))) πŸ™‚

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I just moved into a new place yesterday.

      So we’ll see how that goes.

      Hopefully everything will work out okay.

      • doesitevenmatter3 said,

        Oh, good!
        I hope and pray it goes well! And that everything WILL work out okay! I pray that you are safe and well and find the joy in each day!
        HUGS!!! πŸ™‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks, Carolyn. πŸ™‚

  4. Aak fictionspawn said,

    Postal service delays… It’s created problems for me as well. I know how you feel, Adolf.

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