Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec On New Year’s Eve
Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec On New Year’s Eve
Dressed in a lovely purple evening dress, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec waited for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to arrive to escort her to a New Year’s Eve ball.
Dracul arrived dressed in a tuxedo.
“Cocktails before we leave?” She asked.
“An excellent idea,” Dracul took off his top hat and cane.
As they downed a champagne cocktail, Qonzilqointec made a toast, “To the New Year.”
“To the New Year,” Dracul raised his glass.
Happy New Year, everyone.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 31st
2018.
Renfield Receives A Knighthood
Renfield Receives A Knighthood
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set looked somewhat perplexed as he sat in his chair in the living room of his colossal West London mansion and tried to read his copy of The Times of London.
For every time his former employee and current tenant the British MP Renfield R. Renfield entered the living room, Amadeus Emanon would play Sir Edward Elgar’s musical piece Land of Hope and Glory on the piano.
Finally exasperated beyond all point of vampiric endurance, Set asked his butler and valet Athelstan who was busy pouring tea, “Why is it that every time Renfield enters the room, Amadeus starts playing Sir Edward Elgar’s Land of Hope and Glory on the piano?”.
“Beg your pardon, sir,” Athelstan handed Set his cup of Earl Grey tea, “but Mr. Renfield requested that Amadeus do so.”
“Why in the name of God (who doesn’t exist),” Set added honey, sugar, lemon, milk and brain expanding nanites to his tea, “did Renfield make such a request?”.
“Because Mr. Renfield has been named to the Queen’s New Year’s Honours list,” Athelstan answered.
“What?” Set spewed out a mouthful of tea which was a good thing because the sight of a vampire’s head exploding is not a pretty thing to see.
“Yes, he’s been awarded a knighthood,” Athelstan calmly wiped up the tea stain with Miss Sherrielock Holmes’ Bavarian Wild Mushroom Cleaner Stain Remover.
“In heaven’s name (even though Heaven doesn’t exist),” Set spewed out the remainder of his tea out of his mouth, “why?”.
“Ostensibly for planning that British Brigade of Gurkhas raid on that ISIS Islamic State training camp in Libya back on June 6th of this year in which Renfield had the Gurkhas tie nails and explosives to the ISIS members’ tiny testicles and which Renfield then detonated simultaneously at the push of a button – a raid Renfield planned and executed in retaliation for the Manchester and London terrorist attacks,” Athelstan answered.
“Is there another reason Renfield might have been awarded the knighthood?” Set asked.
“He dove in and saved one of the Queen’s corgis from drowning in a swimming pool earlier this year,” Athelstan remarked.
“Good God,” Set went into another relapse of Judeo-Christian terminology, “Renfield is conceited enough as it is. Imagine what he’ll be like once we have to call him Sir Renfield.”
“The whole thing fills me with chills, sir,” Athelstan dumped the tea outside which was then drunk by a rat whose head exploded after doing so.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 30th
2017.
South African Artist SAREJESS Paints Reproduction of Hokusai’s The Great Wave
My friend the up and coming South African artist Timothy Wood who paints under the name SAREJESS has just finished painting his reproduction of the great Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai’s masterpiece The Great Wave 🌊.
A few months ago I happen to see a program about the paintings of Japanese Artists at the time I thought “that is easy I can do That” I also thought of my friend in Canada Chris Milner who is on WordPress and of his love for things Asian.
Last week my friend Shirley Yates gave a framed print of a Chinese water color to her niece and I thought time to paint my reproduction of the great wave. So I did an observation about people and the silliest things they can say to an artist are
When they really don’t like your painting
“After all it is your painting”
When the painting confounds them.
“interesting ”
.WHEN.THE.TIME.IS.RIGHT.
Here’s a very beautiful and awe inspiring piece of poetic prose written by Sherry a very good friend and fellow writer:
Haiku About Santa Post-Christmas
Haiku About Santa Post-Christmas
After the big night
sleigh ride and two nights later
Santa still napping
A Mermaid On Boxing Day
A Mermaid On Boxing Day
Gordon “The Black” Donnelly had won his Boxing Day fight in the boxing ring.
He left the broken down warehouse where he had boxed and walked down to the pier.
He was covered in sweat and blood.
He reflected on the past 8 years of his life ever since he had been brought back from the dead by South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo.
As a boxer, he had fought in Ontario back in the 1880s and in California back in the 1890s.
He had retired from boxing in 1899 and moved to Honolulu where he died on June 6th 1910.
Dr. Makabo had raised him from the dead in June 2009 on behalf of a billionaire sports promoter who wanted to sponsor a boxer that would someday win the World Heavyweight Title.
And the promoter thought a supernaturally controlled boxer as in one brought back from the dead would be able to do that.
It was true Gordon “The Black” Donnelly had never lost a fight in the past 8 years.
But he still wasn’t seen as a contender namely because boxing was no longer the sport it once was.
UFC Fighting had taken away a lot of the promoters and big money.
Donnelly stood on the pier and looked down at the water.
He noticed the face of a startlingly beautiful woman staring up at him from underneath the water.
Thinking she was drowning, Donnelly jumped in.
Underneath the water, he noticed the woman was topless with a firm sumptuous pair of breasts.
He looked down and noticed the rest of her was one giant fish tail.
“A mermaid?” Donnelly thought to himself.
The shock of encountering a mermaid caused the living dead boxer to lose consciousness.
The mermaid quickly grabbed the unconscious boxer and dragged him up to the shore.
She administered mouth to mouth while in the distance a choir hired by a store for its Boxing Day sale sang, “Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Feast of Stephen…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 26th
2017.
Arthur On Christmas Day
Arthur On Christmas Day
The boy Arthur walked through the forest.
He was walking back home to retrieve his brother Kay’s sword.
His brother had forgotten it the day of a big tournament.
As he walked, the lovely dark-haired wood nymph Morgana walked out from behind a tree.
She stood there in a lovely silvery white dress.
“Arthur,” she called out to him.
“Morgana,” Arthur smiled.
They walked back to her cabin where they spent the afternoon making love.
When they finished, Arthur walked back to the tournament.
A couple of miles from the tournament site, it suddenly hit Arthur that he had been so busy using his own sword that afternoon, he had completely forgotten about his brother Kay’s.
It was then that he noticed an ancient church and churchyard.
In the churchyard was a large stone with a sword sticking out of it.
Arthur walked over to the stone and pulled out the sword.
“This seems to be a fairly good sword,” Arthur smiled, “even better than Kay’s. My brother should be pleased.”
Arthur turned in the direction of the tournament.
He failed to notice the inscription written on the stone, “Whosoever pulleth this sword out of this stone is destined to become the great High King of the Britons.”
A new destiny had arrived for Britain on that Christmas Day.
A destiny in more ways than one.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 25th
2017.
Amadeus and The Unicorn On Christmas Eve
Amadeus and The Unicorn On Christmas Eve
Amadeus Emanon was spending Christmas Eve walking through London’s Hyde Park.
He’d be attending Midnight Mass at an Anglo-Catholic Church of England parish later in the evening.
His friend Renfield R. Renfield the newly elected British Transhumanist MP was spending Christmas Eve in his bedroom with the doors locked.
Renfield had seen a live stage performance of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol earlier in the evening and was now terribly afraid that like Scrooge, he’d be visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.
Athelstan the butler and valet on the Set Estate would be spending Christmas with his mother in northern England where no doubt most of his time would be spent getting his mother out of drunken brawls arguing over who would win the FIFA World Cup in Russia next year.
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (owner of the Set Estate) would be spending his time over the next few days hibernating in his sarcophagus until all the Christmas cheer died down.
Amadeus sat down on a park bench and looked at the snow and the decorative lights on some of the trees.
Suddenly from behind one of the trees a unicorn appeared.
Snow white in its appearance, it walked with its glistening horn towards Amadeus and bowed.
It then went on its way and seemed to vanish into the night.
After its appearance, a musical melody entered Amadeus’ head.
Taking out a notebook 📓 (a real old fashioned notebook and not an iPad) and a pen, Amadeus wrote down the notes to the melody.
No doubt seeing a unicorn on Christmas Eve conveys an important message, Amadeus felt.
Meanwhile back on the Set Estate, Renfield R. Renfield hid under his bedroom blankets and covers when he heard the old grandfather clock in the hall chime 11 PM.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 24th
2017.
Osiris Views Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity Scene
Osiris Views Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity Scene
The Egyptian vampire Osiris had been invited by the Rome based spiritist medium Cassandra Sibylline to view the Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity scene.
Osiris was worried that as a vampire, he might suffer intense pain viewing Christian symbols on the tree 🌲 and in the Nativity scene.
Osiris need not have worried.
For the decorations on the Vatican Christmas tree in Saint Peter’s Square this year were devoid of Christian religious symbols.
There were peace signs and yin/yang symbols but no angels, no depictions of the Magi and no images of Mary, Joseph or the Christ Child.
As for the Vatican Nativity scene, it did have Joseph, Mary, the Magi and the shepherds. It also had a naked man (who Cassandra Sibylline said looked “like the poster boy for the local Tony Curtis Spartacus Gym and Health Spa”) lying on the straw.
An ad for the Vatican Nativity scene was in fact rejected by Facebook saying “Your ad can’t include images that are sexually suggestive or provocative.”
Commented Osiris to Cassandra Sibylline, “I like this year’s Vatican Christmas tree and Nativity scene. It makes a vampire feel right at home.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 23rd
2017.
Renfield On Future Peace Initiatives In The Middle East
Renfield On Future Peace Initiatives In The Middle East
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was being interviewed by The Times of London on future peace initiatives in the Middle East.
“Well,” said Renfield, “the U.S. role as a mediator has gone now that Donald Trump has formally recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel 🇮🇱. The Palestinians, the Arab League and The Organization of The Islamic Conference no longer regard the U.S. as a neutral mediator. Trump should have waited until the Jared Kushner Peace Plan was presented to both Israelis and Palestinians before making a declaration but being the unique political strategist that Trump is, he didn’t. And so now the Kushner peace plan is dead in the water before it even had the chance to get off the ground.”
“Who do you think will replace the U.S. as a mediator?” The Times reporter asked.
“Probably a European power,” said Renfield.
“Britain?” The reporter asked.
“No,” Renfield shook his head, “Britain will be too busy negotiating Brexit over the next couple of years so it can’t really put the effort needed into the Middle East peace process.”
“Who then?” The reporter was anxious to know.
“Well,” Renfield stroked his chin thoughtfully, “possibly France, Germany or even Russia.”
“Russia?” The Times reporter was surprised.
“Yes, Putin has always been the master of surprises,” Renfield acknowledged, “so maybe he has a Middle East peace plan up his sleeve. And if he does and he’s successful, I imagine Hillary Clinton and the Democratic National Committee will really be choking on their caviar if Putin is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 22nd
2017.
Dracul Van Helsing 