Pan Goatee To Be Nominated For U. S. Medal of Honour

December 21, 2017 at 10:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee To Be Nominated For U.S. Medal of Honour

U.S. President Donald Trump was looking at the work that DARPA hired assassin Pan Goatee had done for that agency.

President Trump said to his aide, “I’m going to nominate Pan Goatee to receive the U.S. Medal of Honour.”

“But sir, Mr. Goatee isn’t officially a member of any of the Armed Services of the United States which is a qualification necessary to receive the award,” said the aide.

“So,” Trump shrugged, “I’ll sign a proclamation making him a member of the U.S. Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. That way all our branches will be honoured when he gets the award.”

“But it would be a controversial decision,” said his aide, “because as a hobby, Pan Goatee is a serial killer who specializes in killing ugly women.”

“Killing ugly women?” Trump looked at his aide, “Well, then he definitely deserves the U.S. Medal of Honour. I’m going to sign his nomination papers now.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 21st
2017.

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Winter Wonderland: A Poem

December 20, 2017 at 10:03 pm (Poetry) (, , )

Winter Wonderland: A Poem

The first weeks of December here were dry
Christmas lights seem not to shine so bright
against a backdrop of dry grass and dry trees

But today the fall of fresh clean white snow
that truly makes the lights come aglow

A winter wonderland shines like a glowing candle on the vast prairie landscape
giving one a feeling of warmth despite the cold
It glistens like the star that once shined above Bethlehem streets
heralding that into time Eternal Light was born

The world changed then
There were places that embraced the Light
There were places that rejected the Light
There were times that celebrated the Light
There were times that tried to extinguish the Light
There were people who welcomed the Light
There were people who cursed the Light

But like that first fresh snowfall that decorates the landscape
That Light leaves an impression on the mind that will never be forgot.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday December 20th
2017.

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ET Reptilians Threaten Revenge

December 19, 2017 at 8:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Radio, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

ET Reptilians Threaten Revenge

The 80-year-old Saskatchewan farmer Jonas Watson was once again rocking in his rocking chair.

When the old vintage 1934 antique St. Regis Gothic Cathedral Radio (that had belonged to his father) once again came to life and turned on by itself as it had last week when ETs had announced their arrival on this radio’s frequency.

This time an ET voice complained about how one of their reptilian comrades had been bitten and slain by a poison injecting fluffy little white earthling bunny rabbit.

The reptilian leader said that the brother of the slain reptilian had a message he’d like to give planet Earth.

The slain reptilian’s brother then spoke in a voice that sounded very much like that of Looney Tunes cartoon character Elmer Fudd, “I’m going to get that cwazy wabbit.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 19th
2017.

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The Rabbit Who Saved Planet Earth

December 18, 2017 at 8:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The Rabbit Who Saved Planet Earth

Amadeus Emanon was down at the Set Enterprises lab.

He was eating a corned beef sandwich.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher entered the room.

“Well, well,” said Dr. Cadbury Rocher, “you’re the second person I’ve seen in the past few days who’s been eating a corned beef sandwich.”

“Who was the first?” Amadeus asked.

“The Mossad agent they call the Controller of The Golem,” Dr. Rocher replied, “I saw him eating a corned beef sandwich in Jerusalem.”

“What were you doing in Jerusalem?” Amadeus put some more mustard on his corned beef.

“Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of an ET reptilian landing on the Temple Mount,” Dr. Rocher answered, “a vision that turned out to be correct. So I was in Jerusalem conducting an experiment.”

“An experiment?” Amadeus looked curious.

Just then a cute looking little white Angora rabbit with big pink eyes entered the lab and went over to a dish with carrots 🥕 and started eating them.

“Hello, Fluffykins,” Amadeus addressed the rabbit by name.

Fluffykins lifted up her ears, gazed at Amadeus and went back to eating her carrots.

“Yes, it was an experiment involving Fluffykins,” Dr. Rocher explained, “The past few years various world governments have approached me about the increasing number of ET reptilian landings on the planet. They were wondering if there was any way reptilians can be destroyed. So using my ingenuity and my imagination, I genetically created a rabbit capable of giving a poisonous bite to a reptilian ET that kills them instantly. That rabbit is Fluffykins. I took her to Jerusalem and she passed the test with flying colours. The reptilian is dead with its skin being sold to a merchant in China who will make faux alligator skin handbags 👜 and faux alligator skin boots out of it.”

“What made you decide on using a rabbit to deliver this poisonous bite rather than say a snake or scorpion?” Amadeus asked.

“Because rabbits are so darned cute,” Dr. Rocher smiled as little Fluffykins hopped around the lab, “no mean nasty vicious reptilian would ever dream that such an adorably cute little creature would be capable of delivering a poisonous bite that would kill them instantly.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 18th
2017.

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Sherry Valerie Hilles Gothic Exorcist Chronicles

December 17, 2017 at 9:39 pm (books, Horror, Literature, Mystery/horror, The Supernatural) (, , )

Sherry Valerie Hilles Gothic Exorcist Chronicles

A very dear friend of mine and fellow blogger Sherry Valerie Hilles has just published two novels on Amazon.

Volume One of her Gothic Exorcist Chronicles The Devil’s Promises has just been published in paperback:

And Volume Two of her Gothic Exorcist Chronicles The Fallen has just been published in Kindle:

Sherry Valerie Hilles is an amazing woman. A mother of 7 children, she still manages to find the time to write novels, write poetry, draw and paint 🎨 beautiful pictures as well as being a very talented amateur photographer.

Born and raised in the Malaysian province of Sarawak on the island of Borneo, she has a multi-cultural ancestral background- Malay, Iban (the Iban were the famous head hunters of Borneo in times past), Japanese and Chinese.

In her late teens, she left her homeland to study at England’s prestigious Cambridge University.

She now lives in the forests and mountains of Bavaria in southern Germany.

I can honestly say that Sherry is one of the smartest people I know having an immense knowledge of history and literature, music and opera, art and sculpture as well as Greek, Norse and Egyptian mythology.

You can read her beautiful poetry and insights into life at her regular WordPress blog here:

https://sherriedevaleriahendrie.wordpress.com/

Sherry also has a paranormal and ghost story blog (my friend Jan who has a ghost blog herself would probably be interested in this):

https://sherriedevaleriaparaghostories.wordpress.com/about/

Sherry’s tales of the supernatural are great at building up an atmosphere of terror in your immediate surroundings and her writing is so compelling and entrancing that whatever paranormal entity she is describing (be it ghost or demon), you get the absolutely chilling feeling that the entity being described is really and truly in the room with you.

So if you really want to scare yourself out of your wits (thus giving you the qualifications necessary to be President in contemporary America), read her two Gothic Exorcist novels alone in a darkened room with all the lights off and only a single candle burning.

These books would make great gifts for family or friends to have a scary Merry Christmas.

-A recommendation
written by Christopher
Sunday December 17th
2017.

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Reptilian On The Temple Mount

December 16, 2017 at 9:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Reptilian On The Temple Mount

The Mossad agent they call the Controller of The Golem was in his Jerusalem office when one of his aides entered the office.

“Sir, minutes ago a UFO was spotted above the Temple Mount and now an ET has been seen walking around the Temple Mount,” said the aide.

“An ET?” The Controller ran his fingers through his hair, “Is it an ET gray?”.

“No, sir,” the aide shook his head, “It’s a reptilian.”

“A reptilian?” The Controller turned white, “Those are nasty motherfuckers.”

“Indeed, sir,” the aide agreed, “that’s why agents at the location have given it the code name Oedipus.”

“Tell them I’ll be there as soon as possible,” the Controller realized that his corned beef sandwich would have to wait.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 16th
2017.

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Renfield Proposes A New Snowman

December 15, 2017 at 9:01 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Fantasy, Folklore, Humour, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Renfield Proposes A New Snowman ⛄️

MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a conversation with Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher about an idea he had.

“And what is this idea, Renfield?” Dr. Rocher asked.

“I think you should build a snowman who doesn’t melt,” Renfield smiled.

“A snowman that doesn’t melt?” Dr. Rocher was astounded.

“Yes,” Renfield nodded as he opened his lunchbox and discovered that his ice cream 🍦 cone had melted.

“And what brought this on?” Dr. Rocher asked as Renfield started licking up the melted ice cream.

“Well, I was reading this short story about an evil snowman who wanted to kill people but the only trouble was he couldn’t move being a snowman without access to Frosty’s magic hat 🎩. Then some bratty kid made a nasty remark about him and the snowman couldn’t kill the brat and the snowman ended up melting instead. Anyhow I felt great sympathy for the snowman seeing as how I hate bratty kids myself. I thought it would be nice if the snowman could move and also that he couldn’t melt and then we’d have a lot less bratty kids in the world,” Renfield grinned as melted ice cream dripped from his nose.

“So you want me to create a snowman that not only can’t melt but has the ability to move as well,” Dr. Rocher said as he de-thawed his frozen salmon in the microwave.

“Exactly,” Renfield bit into a tuna fish 🐟 sandwich, “if any man can do it, you can.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 15th
2017.

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A Day In The Digital Life of Renfield

December 14, 2017 at 8:13 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

A Day In The Digital Life of Renfield

Morning at the breakfast table in the kitchen of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion:

Amadeus (munching on his toast): So did you ever hear back from Miss Hailee Steinfeld over that Twitter tweet you sent her where you posted a link to your Facebook video in which you alleged that you had been bullied? Did she ask you out on a date?

Renfield (his face turning red): No, she told me that I was a purveyor of fake news and told me to go f— myself.

Amadeus (in a reflective tone of voice): Well, the first part of her statement is definitely true and as for the second part, if you could actually physically do that, you could shoot a video of yourself doing that and post it on social media and I’ll definitely guarantee that it will go viral.

. . .

Lead story on the BBC Evening News that night:

British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield has expressed his extreme disappointment that one of China’s largest tech companies has taken its flirtatious secretary virtual assistant off-line.

The avatar called Vivi appeared in an office setting wearing a blouse and short skirt and saying, “I am your girlfriend. You must love and adore me.”

Mr. Renfield said that with Vivi gone, he no longer had any reason to hack into China tech companies anymore.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 14th
2017.

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Radio Contact: Close Encounters of The Vintage Kind

December 12, 2017 at 9:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Radio, Science, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Radio Contact: Close Encounters of The Vintage Kind

It is the first known asteroid to visit our solar system from interstellar space.

Scientists who have studied its speed and trajectory believe it originated in a planetary system around another star.

The object has a strange elongated shape making it look like a cigar.

Reminding one of that little known story from Classical Greek mythology where the Greek god Zeus sailing in his chariot across the heavens asked in Bill Clintonesque fashion, “Did anyone see where I put my cigar?”.

The object is travelling extremely fast with enough speed to avoid being captured by our Sun’s gravitational pull and is on a very eccentric trajectory eventually taking it out of our solar system.

The object is at least 400 metres long.

And it is 10 times longer than it is wide.

That ratio makes it more extreme than any asteroid or comet observed in our solar system.

The object rotates rapidly and is subject to dramatic changes in brightness.

Although believed to have formed around another star, scientists think it has been wandering across the Milky Way unattached to any star system for hundreds of millions of years before its chance encounter with our solar system.

The object has been given the name Oumuamua which means “a messenger from afar arriving first” in the native Hawaiian language.

The name reflects the object being discovered by a Hawaii-based astronomer at an observatory in Maui.

It was discovered on October 19th this year by Rob Weryk a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Hawaii Institute For Astronomy.

The discovery was made at the Pan-Starrs1 Observatory on Maui’s Haleakala volcano.

On the off chance that this first known interstellar asteroid in our solar system might have alien 👽 technology on it, an initiative backed by Russian billionaire entrepreneur venture capitalist and physicist Yuri Milner will use a radio telescope to listen for signals from it.

The team’s efforts will begin tomorrow with astronomers observing the asteroid across four different radio frequency bands.

. . .

80-year-old Saskatchewan farmer Jonas Watson was in excellent physical health.

He still owned and ran his large farmstead in central Saskatchewan.

An excellent mechanic, he still repaired his own farm machinery.

A lot of it was more than 40 or 50 years old but was still in excellent shape due to Watson’s caring hand.

Watson also repaired old clocks and watches as well as old TVs.

Sadly the only object that Jonas was unable to repair was the old classic vintage 1934 antique St. Regis Gothic Cathedral Radio that was made by ExceptionalRadios.

The radio had belonged to his father who had bought it in the year that it was made.

Try as he might, even Jonas, with all his skill and technical know how, was unable to get it working again.

Still the old radio was lovingly kept on a mantelpiece above the old fireplace in the farmhouse living room for all to see.

Jonas had not touched or worked on the radio in months.

Yet tonight on this evening of December 12th 2017 (the first evening of Hanukkah 2017) the radio suddenly came to life and turned on by itself as Jonas rocked in his rocking chair.

Jonas could hear a crackle coming from the radio speaker and then a rather peculiar electronic sounding voice saying, “We have arrived. Attention. We have arrived. And we are the first among many.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 12th
2017.

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Renfield’s Facebook Video

December 11, 2017 at 8:46 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Facebook Video

“What’s with the large supply of cut and peeled onions on the kitchen table?” Amadeus asked Renfield as he entered the kitchen

“I used them to make my eyes water and look like I’m crying 😭,” Renfield explained.

“Why would you want to do that?” Amadeus grabbed some onions and a slice of cheese 🧀 and put them on his toast.

“I was just reading in the paper about this boy in Tennessee named Keaton Jones who was being bullied,” said Renfield, “his mother made a video of him talking about his experiences and put it on Facebook last Friday. It has since gone viral and racked up 22 million views.”

“What does this have to do with peeling onions and making your eyes water?” Amadeus asked.

“Well a whole bunch of celebrities have offered to be friends with him and have invited him to various events,” Renfield pointed out, “including one very hot looking babe the young actress and singer Hailee Steinfeld who asked him to be her date for the premiere of the movie Pitch Perfect 3.”

“I see,” Amadeus was indeed starting to see where this was going.

“So I just made a video about me being bullied,” Renfield went on, “that I’ve posted to Facebook. Peeling the onions made it look like I’ve been crying. I also posted a link to that video on Miss Steinfeld’s Twitter feed in hopes that she’ll invite me on a date with her.”

“When have you ever been bullied?” Amadeus asked.

“I haven’t,” Renfield grinned, “but Miss Steinfeld doesn’t know that. Besides I put on a very realistic performance. The peeled onions made it look like I’ve been crying heavily and then squeezing my balls with a pair of pliers underneath the kitchen table gave me the right intense look of agony.”

“Where and by whom have you been bullied in this bullying incident that never happened?” Amadeus queried.

“I claimed I was being bullied by my fellow MPs in the British House of Commons parliamentary cafeteria for eating tuna fish sandwiches,” Renfield feigned fake tears again, “they laughed at me and called me names and said that since I didn’t have a red nose, I wouldn’t be guiding Santa Claus’ sleigh on Christmas Eve. They told me that a real Brit would eat one of Britain’s national dishes like a roast beef sandwich for lunch or at least Britain’s other national dish which is curried lentils wrapped in naan bread. Only a total loser would eat tuna fish sandwiches every day they said to me.”

Renfield was getting so caught up in his own rhetoric about this bullying incident that never happened, he was giving quite the salt water performance.

Amadeus buried his head in his hands. This would probably be yet another Renfieldian dating ploy that would backfire.

. . .

Meanwhile in Ankara Turkey, that country’s bully Recep Tayyip Erdogan was meeting with Russian President President Vladimir Putin to discuss their new moves for the Middle East in the wake of Donald Trump’s recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel 🇮🇱.

Hours earlier Putin had met with Syrian President Bashar al-Assad at the Russian Hmeimim Air Base near the Syrian port city of Lattakia.

Meanwhile in the port city of Lattakia itself, a beautiful young woman giantess (who days before had been a statue of the Palmyrene Empire Queen Zenobia in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea waters off the coast of Lattakia) was walking through the town.

She laughed heartedly when she saw someone holding an android tablet where a Facebook video of some British Member of Parliament who said he was being bullied for eating tuna fish sandwiches was being played.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 11th
2017.

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