Dracul Van Helsing In Transylvania

January 22, 2018 at 10:14 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Dracul Van Helsing In Transylvania

The great Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was in Transylvania.

He was visiting the decaying ruins of Castle Dracula in the Carpathian Mountains near the Borgo Pass.

Accompanying him was Set Enterprises’ chief resident scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The two were seeking the remains of the Wallachian voivode (or prince) Vlad III also known as Vlad Tepes also known as Vlad the Impaler but better known to Britain and the Western world as Vlad Dracula (the son of Vlad Dracul or Vlad the Dragon 🐉 who was Wallachian prince Vlad II).

Both Dracul and Dr. Rocher were in Transylvania on the advice of British MP Renfield R. Renfield who was being advised by the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill (Churchill’s ghost appeared to Renfield by leaving a painted portrait of himself in Renfield’s office whenever Renfield drank from the last bottle of brandy that Churchill ever owned).

According to Renfield and dear old Winnie’s ghost, the only way that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan could be stopped from creating a revived Ottoman Empire thereby threatening world peace would be if Vlad the Impaler (who made a successful career out of impaling his Turkish enemies) was brought back from the dead.

Sadly for the world in the second decade of the 21st Century, Dracul Van Helsing’s great great grandfather Dr. Abraham Van Helsing had driven a stake through Dracula’s heart in the last decade of the 19th Century.

Ironically Dracul Van Helsing’s Romanian mother Nadja Draculescu was a direct descendant of Vlad Dracula.

Which made Dracul a direct descendant of Vlad Dracula as well.

So on his father’s side, he was a Van Helsing.

On his mother’s side, he was a Dracula.

When they found Dracula’s coffin in the dungeon of Castle Dracula, Dracul Van Helsing and Dr. Cadbury Rocher opened it.

Inside they found the dust that had been Dracula.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” Dracul quoted from the burial service in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer.

“Son of man, can these bones live?” Dr. Cadbury Rocher quoted Ezekiel Chapter 37 verse 3.

Dr. Rocher then zapped the dust and bones with his Tesla laser particle beam flashlight helmet wearing pink rabbit Energizer Bunny.

The atomic particles and sub-atomic particles of Dracula’s body re-assembled itself.

The Energizer Bunny kept going, saying in a TV commercial announcer style voice, “It keeps going and going…”

And going and going it did.

It kept going out the door of the Castle and kept going right over a cliff.

It wasn’t in any shape to keep going once it had made its landing however.

Meanwhile Dracula now had his head and heart attached.

Dracula had risen from the dead.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 22nd


  1. ortensia said,

    Damn you got me this morning too but ….it worth it😀brilliant.I love it.must go now.have a good day

  2. George F. said,

    So comically brilliant and insane…it’s nearly incomprehensible! LOL! So loved it tho…gives me something to muse over the entire day without worrying about bills!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you for the wonderful compliment, my friend. 😀

      Good to know that my writing is so comically brilliant and insane, it makes one forget about worrying about bills throughout the day.

      Gives me a slogan I can use for my blog- Did you max out your credit card 💳 in December? Then read Dracul Van Helsing’s blog in January. 😀

  3. Orvillewrong said,

    yet more competition for Trump

  4. Hyperion said,

    Excellent plan. Can’t eait to read of Turdagain’s meeting with Vlad III and their negotiations for Burpedagain’s departure from the Pre Sultancy of the Ottoman Empire II.

  5. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    Dracula is the ONE character that immortally lives in many memories of people until the end of time … even if it ends with ashes and dust.
    Brilliant writing as usual, Chris!

    Speaking of Churchill’s ghost … here is a new movie of him in “THE DARKEST HOUR” with my most favourite actor Gary Oldman. I think, to my opinion, this was his best movie ever.

    I watch this.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, Sherry. 🙂

      And you’re right. Dracula is the ONE character who will live in the memories of many people until the end of time.

      Thanks very much for the link as well. 🙂

      I do very much want to see this movie.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Hi Sherry,

      I finally found the time to watch that trailer you sent me the link to.

      It’s absolutely magnificent.

      I knew I wanted to see this film but after watching the trailer, I definitely want to see it.

      I always felt a kinship with Sir Winston Churchill.

      There used to be a society in Edmonton called The Sir Winston Churchill Society that sponsored high school debate and speech competitions on topics relating to Churchill.

      When I was in Grade 10, I entered the Original Oratory competition for the Churchills and won the silver medal.

      The next year in Grade 11, I again entered the Original Oratory category and this time won the gold medal.

      In Grade 12, I entered the Extemporaneous Speaking category at the Churchills and won the gold medal.

      But in preparing for both the Original Oratory and Extemporaneous Speaking competitions, I had to do lots of research on Churchill’s life, thought and speeches.

      And I came to develop a close affinity and kinship with the man.

      Churchill always felt his entire life he was called to some great purpose.

      And that’s the way I’ve always felt.

      And I keep wondering when the day for my great purpose will arrive.

      Now I’m anxious to see this film Darkest Hour.

      • shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

        I never really pay attention to the World History when I was in school. Was actually, bad in history because of my lack of interest in it until I entered college where a good friend awakened my interest in it when he told how one of the heroes of the past inspired him that made him changed.

        I am not sure where he is now and I tried to find contact with him when I went on holiday back home in Malaysia.

        I think during the Mardi Gras festival holiday I might take one day time to go to the cinema to watch this film. It is not because of Sir Churchill only, but my favourite great actor Gary Oldman is the one that acted as Churchill gave me goosebump when I watched that trailer. I feel in love with Gary when I watched him as Dracula and I felt as if he took me with him in his journey. It was a painful and dark journey just as when I watched Jonathan Rhy Meyers also as Dracula … his eyes took me into his soul …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oh, that’s right, I had totally forgotten that Gary Oldman had played Dracula in the 1992 film Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

        I suppose because I never did see that film.

        I guess the reason I never bothered seeing it was because Winona Ryder played Mina Harker and I never found Winona Ryder sexy.

        In my mind’s eye when reading Dracula, I always thought of Mina Harker as incredibly sexy and I couldn’t picture Winona Ryder as sexy so I never bothered seeing the film.

        I remember the woman who played Mina Harker alongside Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ Dracula was quite sexy.

        So forgetting that Gary Oldman had once played Dracula and is now playing Churchill, it’s interesting in my imagination that I brought Dracula into my novel at the same time Churchill’s ghost is advising MP Renfield to bring back Dracula from the dead to battle the Turks now that Recep Tayyip Erdogan is Hellbent on restoring the Ottoman Empire with himself as Sultan.

  6. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    LOL I never really admire Winona when she was young. Never really watch her films, except when I watched “Edward Scissorshand” with Johnny Depp long ago. That was where I did actually really watched her. But, I was not really amused until lately when I saw her role as a mother of a kidnapped boy in a great TV series “Stranger Things”. There I would say, she was at her best. Well, it took her for so long to play a good role.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I think the first time I saw Winona Ryder was with Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands as well.

      I’ve never seen the TV series Stranger Things. I don’t think we get it on any TV networks in Canada.

  7. Peter Alexander Thorne said,

    Have to admit I had no idea where this was going. Then the aha moment arrived. Well done.

  8. David Redpath said,

    Dude.. always better to be the hunter, than the hunted.

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