Renfield Gives Convocation Address

February 18, 2018 at 11:52 pm (Comedy, Education, Humour, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Renfield Gives Convocation Address

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had been invited to give a winter session graduation convocation Address at a small community college in London.

The topic he was given to speak on for the convocation Address was What Britain 🇬🇧 Needs To Consider For The Future.

Renfield approached the podium wearing sunglasses 😎 , a t-shirt with Bob Marley’s picture on it and a splendid Scottish kilt with a matching pair of plaid socks.

Tapping the microphone and saying “Ich ni sun chi… good… it appears to be working… what Britain needs to consider for the future…”

Renfield paused as he looked around the room.

He then began his address on What Britain Needs To Consider For The Future.

Said Renfield, “Have you ever wondered why the word terrier doesn’t rhyme with the word Perrier?…”

As his friend Amadeus Emanon remarked afterwards, “And that was the high point of the speech…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 18th


  1. George F. said,

    If that was the high point of the speech, at least if got people thinking…

  2. Orvillewrong said,

    Britain is full of idiot politicians!

  3. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    HA! I do ❤ R. R. Renfield! 😀 I've heard worse beginnings to speeches! And most of them were at graduations! Ha! 😛 Love his speech-giving-fashion statement! 😀

    Say, if a movie was made about Renfield, what actor could you see playing him?!

    HUGS!!! 🙂

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      You know, Carolyn, that’s a very good question.

      I’ve often wondered that myself, if my vampire novels were made into movies, I’ve often wondered what actor would be good at playing Renfield?

      And you know I still haven’t figured out the answer. 😀

      The actor who played Dorian Gray in the 2009 film version of Dorian Gray I can picture as Amadeus Emanon because he sort of looks like a young Alan Rickman (and of course one of the individuals Amadeus was cloned from was actor Alan Rickman).

      But as for Renfield himself, I’ve yet to figure out what actor would be good at playing him.

      And you’re right, Carolyn, I’ve heard worse beginnings to graduation 🎓 speeches than Renfield’s.

      And actually I think 🤔 Renfield’s beginning is extremely unique. 😂

      It would certainly be an unforgettable speech if Renfield continued with his line of reasoning.🤣

      And I love Renfield’s speech- giving fashion statement as well. 👍

      • doesitevenmatter3 said,

        It’s fun to think about what actors/actresses could embody your characters!

        I loved Alan Rickman!

        Well, Renfield’s opening line caught my attention! 😀

        HUGS!!! 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec I’ve modeled on actress Salma Hayek who I’ve had a crush on for a very long time. ❤️

        And I’ve often wondered what actors/actresses could play my other characters. 🙂

  4. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    It is sad that such a great country are poisoned by evil politicians … they are not truly human, I must say.
    I guess, at the parliment is that where they do need a stronger exorcist.
    Governments of world need to be exorcise, really!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, what you say is right, Sherry.

      The governments of the world do need to be exorcised by an Exorcist.

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