The Feast of The Beast 2018

March 23, 2018 at 10:23 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Baphomet, Black Hand, Byzantine Vampiress Theodora, Cernunnos, Donald Trump, Israel, Kali, Lexington, Renfield R. Renfield, Russia, Shiva The Destroyer, The Baphomet, The Black Hand, The Byzantine Vampiress Theodora, The Controller of The Golem, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Vladimir Putin)

The Feast of The Beast 2018

Desiree was 16 years old.

She obviously did not pay much attention to current Hollywood news.

Because while walking the Hollywood Walk of Fame, a limousine pulled up.

The limousine’s back window rolled down and an older man- a well known Hollywood actor- invited her into the limo for a ride.

If she knew her Hollywood news, she’d have realized that Hollywood was crawling with a lot of perverts.

Later Desiree in her blue mini dress found herself tied to a sacrificial altar beneath a statue of the Baphomet inside the Hollywood actor’s mansion.

“What are you doing?” Desiree shouted.

“I’m sacrificing you to Baphomet,” the actor replied and lowered his knife and slit her throat and did just that.

. . .

“Lexington,” Donald Trump called for his English butler and valet.

“What is it, sir?” Lexington asked.

“A charcoal burnt human hand just crawled across the floor by itself,” Trump said.

“No need to worry, sir,” Lexington went to the closet, “I’ll use a Swiffer Wet Jet to wash the floor.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Trump reflected, “and find out whose hand it is. I’m going to fire that person in a tweet.”

. . .

Two scientists were conducting an evening test at the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland.

One scientist remarked to the other, “That seems to be a very realistic looking statue of Shiva the Transformer by the door.”

“Yes, it is,” the other scientist agreed.

Suddenly there was an explosion 💥 from the tunnel tube.

A huge hole opened up and out walked the multi armed goddess Kali.

She went up and kissed the statue of Shiva.

“I think,” said the scientist to his fellow researcher, “the next time they decide to erect the statue of a god on Collider grounds, they better hire a sculptor who specializes in a more abstract form of sculpture.”

. . .

Prince Vlad Dracula, the Byzantine Vampiress Theodora (who was the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Emperor Justinian in her mortal life) and the Israeli Mossad agent the Controller of The Golem had just captured a group of Turkish officers who were leading Turkish troops against their allies the Kurds.

“I think we should hand these Turkish officers over to British MP Renfield R. Renfield for interrogation,” said Dracula.

“I agree,” Theodora started wiping the blood off her gown with a towel soaked in Tide laundry detergent.

“Renfield can be quite ruthless in his interrogations,” noted the Controller of The Golem.

Theodora played on her iPhone a recent speech given by Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in which he called on the 57 member state Organization of The Islamic Conference to unite as one army and destroy the State of Israel 🇮🇱.

“Hand them over to Renfield,” the Controller agreed.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was out deer 🦌 hunting on a country estate just north of Moscow.

Putin stumbled across what he thought was a stag with a very impressive set of antlers.

And in one way it was.

For the stag was actually Cernunnos the horned Celtic god of animals and the underworld.

Cernunnos stood up on its hind legs and with a crossbow it carried in its forearms it fired an arrow which moved with rapid lightning speed.

The arrow struck Putin in the forehead and the Russian leader fell to the ground.

Later at the nearby dacha where Putin was taken, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was awakened and informed what happened.

“A stag with a rapid firing crossbow did this, you say?” She asked one of Putin’s fellow hunters who nodded, “That was no ordinary stag. That was Cernunnos the horned god of the Celtic pantheon. The arrow was poison tipped and the poison is now in Putin’s bloodstream. I must suck all the blood out and replace it with my own in order for him to live.”

“But how will you live then?” Asked the bodyguard.

“Thank you for your sacrifice for your Motherland and your leader,” Lilith bit him on the neck and drained all his blood which she then spit out and put in a large glass container and put in the freezer for safekeeping.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 23rd
2018.