Donald Trump Hears of Dr. Faustus Imhotep
Donald Trump Hears of Dr. Faustus Imhotep
“Who’s the leading scientist at DARPA?” Donald Trump asked one of his leading advisors.
“That would be Dr. Faustus Imhotep,” his advisor replied.
“Dr. Faustus Imhotep?” Trump’s hair stood on end, “That’s an unusual name.”
“He’s a German Egyptian,” his advisor replied.
“A German Egyptian?” Trump pasted his hair back down with hair gel, “He isn’t a Muslim is he?”.
“I believe he’s a worshipper of the coming AI god whom he calls Diablotron,” his advisor answered.
“Diablotron?” Trump’s hair stood on end again, “I’ve never heard of him.”
“He’s the god of the future Singularity according to Dr. Faustus Imhotep,” his advisor said.
“What’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep a doctor of?” Trump asked, “The reason I ask is I’ve had this major pain in my ass the past few days…”
“The world has had a major pain in the ass since January 20th of last year,” Trump’s English valet Lexington remarked as he put some Black Forest ham sandwiches and other snacks down on Trump’s desk.
“Really?” Trump used a piece of sliced baloney to pat his hair back down, “I hadn’t heard about that.”
“Dr. Faustus Imhotep has both a Ph.D in Physics and a Ph.D in Biochemistry from Cambridge University to answer your question,” the aide answered Trump’s question.
“Weren’t you telling me, Lexington, that the world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes studied both Literature and Theology at Cambridge University?” Trump asked as he ate the very oily and greasy piece of baloney he held in his hands.
“That is correct, sir,” Lexington poured coffee ☕️.
“So,” Trump put Coffee Mate in his coffee, “what is this DARPA scientist Dr. Faustus Imhotep currently working on?”.
“He’s making a female genetic clone of the DARPA contract assassin and world famous serial killer Pan Goatee,” his aide replied.
“Good God,” Trump spit out his coffee and sprayed it all over his aide’s face, “I hope she isn’t going to kill ugly looking men the way Pan Goatee kills ugly looking women.”
Trump was wondering whether he should change his hair colouring in lieu of this shocking tidbit of information.
“I don’t believe so, sir,” the aide gratefully accepted a towel from Lexington to wipe his face, “Dr. Faustus Imhotep has said he’s eliminated obsessive belief in the aesthetic theories of Oscar Wilde and Friedrich Nietzsche from her intellectual make-up so she won’t go into a homicidal rage every time she sees an ugly person.”
“That’s wonderful to hear,” Trump tweeted People don’t spray people, Coffee sprays people on his Twitter account, “so I don’t have to change my hair colouring.”
“Pope Francis has said that there is no Hell but there will still be Hell toupee then,” Lexington remarked.
“No Hell?” Trump looked shocked, “Then where will I be able to tell people to go?”.
“I’m sure you’ll think of something, sir,” Lexington yawned.
“What’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep going to call this genetically cloned twin sister of Pan Goatee?” Trump asked.
“Panty Goatee,” his aide replied.
“And whose panties will she be wearing?” Trump asked as he took another sip of coffee.
“She was given a 1000 pairs by Stormy Daniels,” his aide answered.
Trump spit out coffee in his aide’s face again.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 29th
2018.
Shreya Sukrity said,
March 29, 2018 at 10:55 pm
An interesting one.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 29, 2018 at 11:06 pm
Thank you, Shreya. 🙂
David Redpath said,
March 29, 2018 at 11:26 pm
“Every Nation gets the government it deserves.”
~ Joseph de Maistre
“I gave Donald the spanking he deserves.”
~ Stormy Daniels
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 29, 2018 at 11:31 pm
Very well put, David. 😃
Hyperion said,
March 30, 2018 at 2:11 am
Waaaa haaa haaaaa! Good one. These Whitehouse chats are quite entertaining.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 30, 2018 at 4:09 pm
Yes, they need to find Nixon’s old tape recorder and start recording them. 😀
Hyperion said,
March 30, 2018 at 5:48 pm
I would have sworn your post was a direct transcript.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 30, 2018 at 5:57 pm
It was.
Renfield has the Trump Oval Office bugged (as do the Russian Intelligence services).
But the Renfieldian transcripts are only available to Renfield’s close knit circle of friends such as myself and the Russian transcripts are for Putin’s eyes 👀 only.
Hyperion said,
March 30, 2018 at 8:13 pm
Certainly WikiLeaks must have the video as well as the voice and text transcripts. Probably a hacker took it of the Hilderbeast’s secret server she kept at home in a closet.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 30, 2018 at 8:21 pm
Yes next to her collection of voodoo dolls she picked up on her trips to Haiti 🇭🇹.
fragglerocking said,
March 30, 2018 at 4:09 am
Loved this one 🙂
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 30, 2018 at 4:10 pm
Thanks, Fraggle. 🙂
George F. said,
March 30, 2018 at 8:07 am
Panty Goatee,” his aide replied. Ok, I’ll be laughing all day now. Thanks. The coming AI God? Hmmmmm…..
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 30, 2018 at 4:12 pm
It might turn out to be an AI Goddess like Akira in which case the world will really be in trouble. 😂
George F. said,
March 30, 2018 at 7:44 pm
LOL!
George F. said,
March 31, 2018 at 9:01 am
You crack me up.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 31, 2018 at 9:16 am
The same words Donald Trump said monosyllabically to Stormy Daniels’ pussy. 😂
Orvillewrong said,
March 30, 2018 at 10:08 am
Amusing as ever!
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 30, 2018 at 4:13 pm
Thanks, Malcolm. 🙂
ortensia said,
March 30, 2018 at 11:19 am
“And whose panties will she be wearing?” Trump asked as he took another sip of coffee.😂😂😂😂
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 30, 2018 at 4:14 pm
Glad you enjoyed that line, Ortensia.
😂😂😂😂
ortensia said,
March 31, 2018 at 1:53 am
Did u doubt it?😂
Dracul Van Helsing said,
March 31, 2018 at 8:55 am
Nope.
I imagine you were checking your own drawers to make sure no goats got in. 😂
ortensia said,
March 31, 2018 at 8:58 am
😂😂😂👍🏻
shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,
April 1, 2018 at 4:47 am
LOL wah hahaha …
So you took my advice on … Ehm, ehm!
I mean you did took Sherrielock Holmes’s advice on that Panty Goatee story.
hahaha …
Gali-Gula would have cried in his Hell Grave for not having her to ride on! LOL
Dracul Van Helsing said,
April 1, 2018 at 5:37 pm
Yes, Sherry, I took your advice… I mean… I took Sherrielock’s advice 😉 and brought the character of Panty Goatee into my vampire novel.
Yes, I imagine Gali-Gula would have probably liked to ride up and down on Panty Goatee’s panties the same way Donald Trump rode up and down on Stormy Daniels’ panties.
shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,
April 2, 2018 at 3:31 am
They rubbed it the wrong way … and now, the whole burden are on their shoulders, for sure …
LOL
Until now, Trumpy boy have not say anything on Stormy at all. And Melania simply disappeared …
(´ ᴗ｀✿)
Dracul Van Helsing said,
April 2, 2018 at 8:17 pm
Yes, I don’t imagine Melania was too pleased with Trumpy boy trying to get into Stormy’s panties.
shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,
April 4, 2018 at 8:43 am
LOL
Well, can be fully understood!
hahaha …
Dracul Van Helsing said,
April 4, 2018 at 5:43 pm
Indeed it can.