Donald Trump Hears of Dr. Faustus Imhotep

March 29, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Science-Fiction, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Donald Trump Hears of Dr. Faustus Imhotep

“Who’s the leading scientist at DARPA?” Donald Trump asked one of his leading advisors.

“That would be Dr. Faustus Imhotep,” his advisor replied.

“Dr. Faustus Imhotep?” Trump’s hair stood on end, “That’s an unusual name.”

“He’s a German Egyptian,” his advisor replied.

“A German Egyptian?” Trump pasted his hair back down with hair gel, “He isn’t a Muslim is he?”.

“I believe he’s a worshipper of the coming AI god whom he calls Diablotron,” his advisor answered.

“Diablotron?” Trump’s hair stood on end again, “I’ve never heard of him.”

“He’s the god of the future Singularity according to Dr. Faustus Imhotep,” his advisor said.

“What’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep a doctor of?” Trump asked, “The reason I ask is I’ve had this major pain in my ass the past few days…”

“The world has had a major pain in the ass since January 20th of last year,” Trump’s English valet Lexington remarked as he put some Black Forest ham sandwiches and other snacks down on Trump’s desk.

“Really?” Trump used a piece of sliced baloney to pat his hair back down, “I hadn’t heard about that.”

“Dr. Faustus Imhotep has both a Ph.D in Physics and a Ph.D in Biochemistry from Cambridge University to answer your question,” the aide answered Trump’s question.

“Weren’t you telling me, Lexington, that the world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes studied both Literature and Theology at Cambridge University?” Trump asked as he ate the very oily and greasy piece of baloney he held in his hands.

“That is correct, sir,” Lexington poured coffee ☕️.

“So,” Trump put Coffee Mate in his coffee, “what is this DARPA scientist Dr. Faustus Imhotep currently working on?”.

“He’s making a female genetic clone of the DARPA contract assassin and world famous serial killer Pan Goatee,” his aide replied.

“Good God,” Trump spit out his coffee and sprayed it all over his aide’s face, “I hope she isn’t going to kill ugly looking men the way Pan Goatee kills ugly looking women.”

Trump was wondering whether he should change his hair colouring in lieu of this shocking tidbit of information.

“I don’t believe so, sir,” the aide gratefully accepted a towel from Lexington to wipe his face, “Dr. Faustus Imhotep has said he’s eliminated obsessive belief in the aesthetic theories of Oscar Wilde and Friedrich Nietzsche from her intellectual make-up so she won’t go into a homicidal rage every time she sees an ugly person.”

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Trump tweeted People don’t spray people, Coffee sprays people on his Twitter account, “so I don’t have to change my hair colouring.”

“Pope Francis has said that there is no Hell but there will still be Hell toupee then,” Lexington remarked.

“No Hell?” Trump looked shocked, “Then where will I be able to tell people to go?”.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something, sir,” Lexington yawned.

“What’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep going to call this genetically cloned twin sister of Pan Goatee?” Trump asked.

“Panty Goatee,” his aide replied.

“And whose panties will she be wearing?” Trump asked as he took another sip of coffee.

“She was given a 1000 pairs by Stormy Daniels,” his aide answered.

Trump spit out coffee in his aide’s face again.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 29th


  1. Shreya Sukrity said,

    An interesting one.

  2. David Redpath said,

    “Every Nation gets the government it deserves.”
    ~ Joseph de Maistre

    “I gave Donald the spanking he deserves.”
    ~ Stormy Daniels

  3. Hyperion said,

    Waaaa haaa haaaaa! Good one. These Whitehouse chats are quite entertaining.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, they need to find Nixon’s old tape recorder and start recording them. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        I would have sworn your post was a direct transcript.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It was.

        Renfield has the Trump Oval Office bugged (as do the Russian Intelligence services).

        But the Renfieldian transcripts are only available to Renfield’s close knit circle of friends such as myself and the Russian transcripts are for Putin’s eyes 👀 only.

      • Hyperion said,

        Certainly WikiLeaks must have the video as well as the voice and text transcripts. Probably a hacker took it of the Hilderbeast’s secret server she kept at home in a closet.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes next to her collection of voodoo dolls she picked up on her trips to Haiti 🇭🇹.

  4. fragglerocking said,

    Loved this one 🙂

  5. George F. said,

    Panty Goatee,” his aide replied. Ok, I’ll be laughing all day now. Thanks. The coming AI God? Hmmmmm…..

  6. Orvillewrong said,

    Amusing as ever!

  7. ortensia said,

    “And whose panties will she be wearing?” Trump asked as he took another sip of coffee.😂😂😂😂

  8. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    LOL wah hahaha …
    So you took my advice on … Ehm, ehm!
    I mean you did took Sherrielock Holmes’s advice on that Panty Goatee story.
    hahaha …
    Gali-Gula would have cried in his Hell Grave for not having her to ride on! LOL

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Sherry, I took your advice… I mean… I took Sherrielock’s advice 😉 and brought the character of Panty Goatee into my vampire novel.

      Yes, I imagine Gali-Gula would have probably liked to ride up and down on Panty Goatee’s panties the same way Donald Trump rode up and down on Stormy Daniels’ panties.

      • shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

        They rubbed it the wrong way … and now, the whole burden are on their shoulders, for sure …

        Until now, Trumpy boy have not say anything on Stormy at all. And Melania simply disappeared …

        (´ ᴗ`✿)

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I don’t imagine Melania was too pleased with Trumpy boy trying to get into Stormy’s panties.

      • shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

        Well, can be fully understood!
        hahaha …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed it can.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: