Pope Francis and The Mysterious Stranger

April 7, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pope Francis and The Mysterious Stranger

Renfield R. Renfield MP was giving a speech on the Best of British Culture to the Society of Friends and Supporters of the Royal Opera.

He was finishing singing the Lumberjack Song from Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

Lord Geese-Hogg who was sitting at a table with his wife Lady Geese-Hogg motioned for one of the banquet waiters to bring him another drink.

“Genghis,” Lady Glenda Geese-Hogg called her husband by his first name, “I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight.”

“Oh, all right,” Lord Genghis Geese-Hogg sighed.

Renfield, as he was getting out of his woman’s bra and dress and taking off his lumberjack jacket, was suddenly handed a note.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Renfield went up to the microphone 🎤 to make an announcement, “I’ve just been informed that the Syrian government has used chemical weapons in a toxic gas attack on Douma the last rebel held town in Eastern Ghouta. So far 70 civilians have died including numerous children.”

Renfield immediately changed into his William Wallace Scottish warrior kilt accompanied with his Highlander broad sword 🗡.

“On a personal observatory note,” Renfield added, “Both French President Emmanuel Macron and America’s Donald Trump have warned the Syrian government in the past that a chemical weapons attack is a red line that mustn’t be crossed. We all know that Trump isn’t the limp wristed pansy that Barack Obama was as a military leader.
Now a chemical weapons attack by the Syrian government has been done in the open.
That red line has been crossed.
How will Trump and Macron respond?
If they let it pass, they’ll lose face.
We all know that the one thing Donald Trump will never do is lose face.
And the homicidal regime of Vladimir Putin have said they will support the homicidal regime of Bashar al-Assad at all costs. Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, the world may now be on the brink of World War III.”

Lord Genghis Geese-Hogg called back the waiter, “I’ll have a hundred more drinks 🍹 🍸 🍷 please.”

“Make that double for me,” Lady Glenda Geese-Hogg added.

. . .

Pope Francis was in his bedroom when suddenly the door opened and in walked a mysterious stranger with jet black hair, jet black eyebrows, a jet black moustache and a jet black goatee beard.

Two locks of hair stuck up on top of his head that almost looked like horns.

The man was wearing a red velvet jacket, suit and pants.

“Who are you?” Francis asked.

“Mephistopheles,” the man laughed.

“Mephistopheles?” Francis looked horrified, “What do you want?”.

Mephistopheles laughed again.

He then turned and opened the door to exit.

“I hope I never see you again,” Francis, who was feeling around for his Cross but couldn’t find it, said in a horrified gasp.

Mephistopheles turned around and laughed the most sinister laugh that Francis had ever heard in his life, “I don’t think we shall ever meet again, Father Bergoglio,” the fallen angel paused and then smiled a most malevolent smile, “after all as you yourself have most recently said, there’s no such place as Hell.”

The entity then left the door open and walked out of the papal bedroom.

Intensely sinister laughter echoed down the halls and corridors.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 7th


  1. Shreya Sukrity said,

    Again a part that needs appreciation. Really nice.

  2. ortensia said,

    “after all as you yourself have most recently said, there’s no such place as Hell.”brilliant

  3. Hyperion said,

    What a mess we’ve gotten ourselves into. America has already lost Syria to The Pootin, Basher, and Colonmeanie of Iran. The black hand is lifted in victory over the Willy Nilly Limp Weiner West. We are deathly afraid of the powerful Erpgogan of Turkey. He slaps the spider monkey off The Stormy bootie enamored Trumpulator’s head and laughs that same maniacal laugh. If The grand Poobah of Ineffectiveness and Division even raises an eyebrow the LBTQDPSGFRN community will churn the liberal lying press into a fake news frenzy and every impotent Federal Judge in the Hawaiian chain will deficate a legal edict declaring sensible action to ward off evil an illegal act. No, don’t look to the west for world salvation. Since Hell was declared non existent, we are far too busy with our goats to care. (No actual goats were molested during this satirical rant)

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Good to hear that no actual goats 🐐 were harmed.

      At least one species is doing okay in these times then.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, the goats are eating well and feeling the love that no one else is.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes the goats aren’t doing baaa-aaaa-ly at all.

      • Hyperion said,

        Baaaaaa haaaa haaaaaaa!

  4. David Redpath said,

    Van Helsing,
    was that the same
    ‘Red Line’
    in the Syrian sand,
    created by children
    choking on sarin ?

  5. Candy L said,

    Loved this Chris.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, Candy. 🙂

      Nice to see you back on WordPress. ❤️

      I commented on your newest blog post but for some reason the comment doesn’t show up.

  6. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    Things certainly are wild in the world today!
    I love how you write about it with compassion and wisdom and fun.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: