Wereleopards, Panthers and Goddesses At The Battle of Damascus

May 10, 2018 at 11:00 pm (Uncategorized)

Wereleopards, Panthers and Goddesses At The Battle of Damascus

London’s South African Embassy cultural attaché Lepardia Marango was honing her dominatrix skills as Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing lay naked across her skirted lap and she gave him a spanking to end all spankings.

Just then the kinky twosomes’ two mobile phones went off (coincidentally at the same time they both did).

Both reluctantly answered their phones as both were on call.

For Dracul Van Helsing, it was Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol informing him that the Syro-Phoenician vampiress Astarte had just resurrected the Syrian Greek King Antiochus Epiphanes.

Apparently Astarte had turned Antiochus IV Epiphanes into a vampire as he lay dying in 164 BC.

Unfortunately for him, just as Antiochus rose to life as a newly born vampire, the Maccabees arrived on the scene and buried the newly bred vampire in a cave.

Astarte flew away in bat form.

Antiochus had yet to learn how to turn into a bat.

Now Astarte had just found the cave in Syria where the Maccabees had buried Antiochus Epiphanes (whom Bible scholars had always considered a forerunner of the Antichrist).

She managed to find it with the help of Israeli missiles blowing apart the area in their latest raid.

Lepardia Marango had just been informed by her superiors in the South African government that members of the South African Embassy in Damascus had just been taken hostage by the Syro-Phoenician vampiress Astarte.

Photo of Lepardia Marango receiving the news about the South African Embassy in Damascus:


Dracul Van Helsing came into the hotel living room still naked and told Lepardia the news from Syria about Astarte and Antiochus Epiphanes (who was currently alive and well and undead and ready to unleash havoc on the Middle East again).

Lepardia said Astarte had just taken members of the South African Embassy in Damascus hostage.

“All Hell has broken loose,” Dracul grabbed a giant Bavarian sausage off the table that he used to cover up the huge erection he had gotten while lying across Lepardia’s lap and getting spanked by her.

“Let me take care of that first,” Lepardia lifted up the giant Bavarian sausage.

“Well, blow me down, maties,” Captain Long John Silver said on the TV screen as an old movie version of Treasure Island 🌴 was being shown.

When Lepardia had finished satisfying Dracul, she then astral projected herself to Syria and then shapeshifted into a leopard since she was a wereleopard.

She had recently read the book How To Astral Project and Then Shapeshift Immediately Afterwards written by satyr serial killer and DARPA assassin Pan Goatee.

She had purchased the book on Amazon.

. . .

Meanwhile on the road from Damascus, the vampire Syrian Greek king Antiochus IV Epiphanes asked the body of a dead Iranian Islamic Revolutionary Guard (whom he mistook for a vampire taking a quick nap 💤) , “Do you know the way to Jerusalem?”.

. . .

Meanwhile at the Indian Embassy in Damascus which was currently under siege by Astarte’s Syrian Greek vampire warriors, the Hindu goddess Kali stood alongside Pantera (a black panther statue who came to life at her command- the statue had been a gift to her from the French sculptor Auguste Rodin) ready to begin the battle against her foes:


-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 10th


  1. Fiery said,

    Wow. Just… brilliance in words and a bit mental. That’s literally all I need to be fully satisfied, entertainment wise. And a bit of romance and kinky play. Of course.
    You’re cool, Van Helsing.
    (#1 sentence I’d never thought I’d say)

  2. ortensia said,

    So much happening …….a rich plot indeed so why I can’t go behind that “giant Bavarian sausage”😳😂😂😂

  3. George F. said,

    So incredible I am now hunting for a vampire-ress to throw across my lap and do something with my sausage.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Hope you find one. 😀

      • George F. said,

        They’re easy to find. Blood attracts them. As Akira’s ass has just attracted danger…

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


        Akira’s ass has attracted danger?

        Looking forward to reading your next chapter. 😍

        Don’t forget to write a detailed description of what her ass looks like.

        Maybe even post a photo. 🤣

  4. David Redpath said,

    Much happens on that
    road to Damascus.
    I must invest
    in a spank proof vest.
    And next time
    catch the bus.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, an awful lot takes place on that road to Damascus.

      A lot of history altering world events.

  5. David Redpath said,

    To quote Bruce Springsteen,
    ( That other ‘Boss’ …
    the Canadian one.)
    “I was blinded by the light …”

  6. Apple Rae said,

    Dracul got laid once again! He’s such a chick magnet! 😆

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