Carson Albion Private Eye Walks The Boulevard of Memories: A Poem

May 11, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Detective story, Film, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , )

Carson Albion Private Eye Walks The Boulevard of Memories: A Poem

Carson Albion Private Eye sat in his office with the sideway blinds of his window slightly open
to let in the evening twilight
He loved the evening twilight
just as he loved neon lights
His office window gave him a view of the neon lights of downtown

How beautiful they looked in the evening twilight
They looked even more beautiful in the snow and the rain
One of the few creations of man that did look more beautiful in the snow and the rain

When it snowed or rained
while strolling the city streets
he looked up at the signs of neon advertising the gods Coca-Cola and Miller Beer
and then he looked down at the sidewalk gutters for signs of rhinestone cowboys
but they must have already been washed down to the sewers
dwelling place of nightmares, monsters and vermin
and assassins of character who work for the last Trump
and wait for John McCain to die.

The ceiling fans in his office blew cold air down on his head
offering relief from the heat of the night
The bottle of bourbon stood open on his desk
offering relief from those memories too painful to bear

She… she… her…
He never told her that he loved her
but that was because she was his best friend
How would she react to the news that he wanted to take their relationship up another level
what if she didn’t feel the same way about him?
Then he’d have lost his best friend.

Because such are the ways of male-female friendship
that if one of them loves the other too much
in a way above and beyond what they had previously understood
There’s no going back

It was like what Dermot Mulroney’s character said to Julia Roberts’ character in the film
My Best Friend’s Wedding
when Julia announces she wants the romance over
Dermot weeps, “I’m losing my best friend.”

Somehow though they manage to hold on to the friendship
in the film that is
but that’s Hollywood
and we all know how much Hollywood echoes real life
For real life is not a fairy tale
and they only award Oscars
for dramatic performances
not for actually surviving day to day.

Albion saw the reflection of himself in his glass
Was a reflection still a Selfie by any other name?
and just what was it the liquid showed?
True colours or a distortion of reality?

The liquid went down his throat
well posting on Facebook or Instagram never tasted this good.
He lowered his hat
loosened his tie
opened his shirt
closed his eyes
and let his mind wander
down that lost boulevard of memories.

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday May 11th 2018.


  1. George F. said,

    Was a reflection still a Selfie by any other name?” This is really deep and meaningful Chris. Reminds me of Raymond Chandler. But here’s the saddest place for any mind to wander: “down that lost boulevard of memories.” Doesn’t do you any good to go there. A mind might not return.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much, George. 🙂

      This poem was in fact inspired by Raymond Chandler’s writing.

      My profile pic for my blog is me dressed as Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe on my way to a Halloween costume party at Halloween 2003.

      And you’re right about not letting your mind wander down that boulevard of lost memories for indeed it might never return.

  2. Orvillewrong said,

    Very melancholy, so reminiscent of the late Humphrey Bogart P.I.s

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, Malkie. 🙂

      That was indeed the atmosphere I was trying to invoke in this piece of writing.👌

  3. ortensia said,

    What a piece.melancholically exquisite 😍

  4. David Redpath said,

    Don’t bogart that bottle,
    Carson, pass it over to me.
    That bottle labelled ‘Olivion
    … 100% proof’.
    Every dame I ever met
    will shake your down,
    and leave you on the roof
    howling at the moon.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Very true and wise advice, David.

      And it certainly happened to Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr.) when he became enamoured with Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers) in the 1941 Universal Pictures film The Wolfman.

      • David Redpath said,

        Lon Chaney Jr. may not
        have got to do Gwen,
        but he certainly did
        the Werewolves of London,
        according to Warren Zevon.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Lon Chaney Jr. must have been a lot like the entrance to a tavern saloon in those old Western movies- “This door swings both ways.”

      • David Redpath said,

        He was dancing with the Queen,
        according to the song.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Lon Chaney Jr. and Freddie Mercury often walked the streets of London together.

  5. Apple Rae said,

    “Albion saw the reflection of himself in his glass
Was a reflection still a Selfie by any other name?
and just what was it the liquid showed?
True colours or a distortion of reality?”

    I super loved this part. I can see a side of you in this poem that I would love to see more and more.

    I reckon that almost everyone could relate about getting confused whether to let that person know what you feel or to just never take that risk so you don’t lose nothing. Sigh. Anway, it’s moving and full of emotions, well done! ♥️

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much, Apple. ❤️

      If you typed Short Story and/or Poem in my blog’s search engine, you could probably find other pieces of my writing much like this.

      I don’t write that sort of stuff much and I expect the reason is I live in a city.

      I think I’d be much happier living in the country.

      But until I can afford to buy a place to live in the country, I’m stuck here.

      I finally figured that out 7 years after my dad died.

      Because his house was in Sherwood Park a small town outside Edmonton.

      And I used to write plenty of stuff like this when I lived there.

      But after he died from cancer which was the beginning of my bouts of severe depression, I had a fight with his relatives over his Estate since he died without a recent will.

      I was forced to move out of his house.

      So I moved to Edmonton.

      I was unhappy there.

      Then I moved to Vancouver which is a super big metropolis.

      I was even more unhappy there.

      Then I moved to Calgary which is smaller but I’m even more unhappy here because the city is primarily made up of fat ugly cows who have no idea that the words “diet” and “exercise” actually exist in the English language and maybe they should really try it instead of being an enormously big ugly dot blocking out the beauty of the aesthetic landscape.

      I think if I lived in a much smaller town close to the country- I’d start being happier and write more stuff like this.

      • Apple Rae said,

        What a story! Thanks for sharing this. Try living in another country from South East Asia, it’s very laidback in here, even in the city lol anyhow, do you mind if I ask if you live alone? I’m sorry for your loss btw

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks very much, Apple. ❤️

        Actually I think I’d love living in Asia.

        The one thing I miss about living in Vancouver was all the varieties of Asian cuisine they had there.

        I got used to living on Asian food.

        So much so that I consider most western food junk food that will eventually kill me.

        As it probably will the vast majority of Calgary women when they start keeling over from excessive obesity, major heart attacks or the worst forms of diabetes unless Pan Goatee gets to them first.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oh, I forgot to answer your question.

        No, I don’t live alone.

        I have 3 other roommates living with me.

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