Justin Trudeau, Donald Trump and The ET Gray Gali-Gula From Nibiru

June 10, 2018 at 10:42 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Humour, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Justin Trudeau, Donald Trump and The ET Gray Gali-Gula From Nibiru

On the television in Canadian living rooms was a rare sight- CBC News Anchorman Peter Mansbridge.

Peter Mansbridge: Hi, I’m Peter Mansbridge. You may remember me as a long time CBC News anchorman from many years ago. You haven’t seen me for a while and no doubt thought I was dead. Well I was. But voodoo practicing strategists for the U. S. Democratic Party have brought me back from the dead on condition I go down to the U.S. and vote 🗳 for Hillary Clinton in the 2020 Democratic Party Presidential primaries.
In the meantime, I’ll occasionally appear on The National so you don’t think my career is as dead as the dodo bird 🐦.
In the news tonight, Alberta cattle baron and long time Canadian Federal Liberal Party fundraiser and fanatical Justin Trudeau supporter Flyen High was found dead in his hotel room in Calgary last night.
He was apparently killed by a fast acting Amazon poison dart that was fired into his neck.
Police however do not believe that the dart was fired from an Amazon blow gun (since Amazon is not allowed to sell poison dart blow guns in Canada unlike the U. S. where Americans’ right to blow is defended by both the NRA and leading adult female porn star Felicity Fellatio).
Also apparently the guest in the room next door distinctly heard Henry Mancini’s Moon River being played on Greek pan pipes.
This was followed by a loud scream in which a gravel sounding elderly male voice said that his high school sweetheart had broken up with him while they were watching the 1961 film Breakfast At Tiffany’s.
The scream was then followed by a loud thud as of a body falling to the floor.
When hotel security and the 101-year-old bell boy entered the room, Mr. Flyen High’s body was found on the bedroom floor with an Amazon tribesman’s poison dart found lodged in his neck.
Calgary police believe that the Amazon blow dart was fired by the same Greek pan pipes that were playing Moon River only moments before.
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau tweeted that both he and the Federal Liberal Party treasurer were “very saddened by Mr. Flyen High’s death.”
Meanwhile the nation’s most expert political commentators in the cities of Ottawa, Toronto and Montreal are still baffled why an Albertan like Mr. Flyen High was such an enthusiastic Justin Trudeau supporter in a province where the Trudeau family name is considered anathema by most Albertans.
Meanwhile Calgary police report that 300 plastic bags of non-medicinal marijuana (with Mr. Flyen High’s fingerprints all over them) were found underneath the cattle baron’s hotel room mattress.
This was strange in lieu of the fact that Mr. Justin Trudeau’s law legalizing the use of recreational marijuana doesn’t become legal until July 1st this year.

. . .

What had transpired the past 24 hours:

Justin Trudeau (at post G-7 Summit press conference addressing the issue of Donald Trump’s temper tantrums during the Summit):

“Canadians are polite and reasonable but we will also not be pushed around.”

Donald Trump (on plane ✈️ en route to Singapore 🇸🇬 and throwing a temper tantrum on hearing Justin Trudeau’s remarks): “Well, Lexington (speaking to his butler and valet), I’m not polite, I’m not reasonable but I also won’t be pushed around either.”

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was walking through his greenhouse when he caught a whiff of pot smoke 💨 which was being exhaled by his Dr. Cadbury Rocher developed genetic hybrid marijuana smoking cactus 🌵 plant.

Upon inhaling the smoke, he immediately saw Gali-Gula the ET gray from Nibiru (whose alien 👽 body was possessed by the spirit of the ancient Earthling Roman Emperor Caligula) that he always saw every time he inhaled marijuana smoke 💨.

“Good God,” shouted Justin, “Not you again.”

“You know I remember during the days I was the Emperor Gaius Caligula, I always wanted to be worshiped as a god,” Gali-Gula stared dreamily into the night sky shining through the clear roof of the greenhouse.

“Well, then,” Justin retorted,” why don’t you use your divine omniscience and tell me what I can do about Donald Trump?”.

“Why don’t you get your Praetorian Guard to bump him off?” Gali-Gula suggested.

“I don’t have a Praetorian Guard,” Justin Trudeau answered.

“Pity,” Gali-Gula remarked as he drank a cup of Red Rose tea which was available only in Canada 🇨🇦.

“I’m beginning to think so,” Justin Trudeau agreed and then suddenly remembered something his father once told him, “Say, weren’t you yourself once bumped off by your own Praetorian Guard?”.

Gali-Gula immediately spit out a mouthful of Red Rose tea ☕️ which immediately extinguished the smoke from the marijuana smoking cactus’ marijuana cigarette much to the former desert plant’s annoyance.

“I try,” Gali-Gula wiped his mouth, “to forget that particular bit of ancient Roman and personal life history.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 10th
2018.

18 Comments

  1. Shreya Sukrity said,

    Again a perfect set of drama…!!!
    Very nice.

  2. charliecountryboy said,

    Excellent humour, loved the Amazon quip 😀

  3. David Redpath said,

    Very unfortunate for the
    Alberta cattle baron, Flyen High, that Donald Trump has
    trouble chewing his beef rump.
    Due to the President’s false tongue
    no doubt. If only Donald still
    had the highly skilled and
    highly paid Stormy Daniels
    to tenderise his meat for him.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      LOL, David. 😂

      Yes, the Trumpster could certainly use having his meat 🥩 and bone 🍖 tenderized for him by Stormy Daniels.

  4. Orvillewrong said,

    Its amazing how many monarchs and politicians have extremely short memories!

  5. George F. said,

    Hysterical! I wonder if the democrats have considered bringing more people back from the dead to get votes? Good strategy! LOL! (BTW, new post up: He wanted it over. Stop in!)

  6. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    Often forgetting history is not a good thing.
    Great chapter! 😀
    Isn’t it scary to think about the world leaders of today and the impact they will have on the future!? 😦
    HUGS!!! and keep writing!!! 🙂

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I will definitely keep writing, Carolyn. 😀

      And as the philosopher George Santayana said, “Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.”

  7. ortensia said,

    Did I really miss all these posts of yours😱shame on me
    How are you btw?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      You did.

      But I’m glad to see you’re back. 🙂

      I think I’d recover from the assault by that junkie a lot quicker if I didn’t have to deal with the nonsense from my asshole housemate (who rents a room in the same house I do as well).

      The guy is a white supremacist neo-Nazi which makes him impossible to live with.

      I don’t know if you ever read my blog post about 3 or 4 blog posts before this one called Bruce Campbell: White Supremacist Idiot and Asshole Extraordinaire but the character Brutus Campbell in that chapter was modeled on him.

      • ortensia said,

        Lol,yes I read it and I think liked and commented as well or not?fir sure I read it because I remember reading and imagining you shuffling in pain from room to room followed by an annoying idiot trying to make you reasoning and change your mind from this insane idea of reporting the poor racist guy🤣

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that’s right. 🤣

        I guess you did read it after all.

        I couldn’t remember whether you did or not.

      • ortensia said,

        We all get forgetful at times…..I forgive you😉❤️

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

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