Renfield and Amadeus Discuss The Singapore Summit

June 12, 2018 at 10:08 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield and Amadeus Discuss The Singapore Summit

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having lunch with his close friend Amadeus Emanon the personal concert pianist to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Renfield was having half a dozen tuna fish sandwiches and Amadeus was enjoying a 12-course Chinese combination dinner from Lydo’s Chinese Food.

He liked the catchy jingle on their commercials, “426-5050, if you’re hungry 😋, call the Lydo now. Freeee delivereee!”.

And then the sexy Chinese vampiress Meiling Manchu at the end of the commercial, “Don’t forget to dial the local area code first before the number.”

She then smiled before biting into a sumptuous egg roll with her vampiric incisor fangs.


Meiling Manchu hides her vampiric incisor fangs with her arm.

“So, what did you think of the Singapore Summit meeting between Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un?” Amadeus asked as he bit into a sweet and sour sparerib and wondered why Porky 🐷 Pig had a spare rib but Adam in the Garden of Eden didn’t.

“Kim Jong-un came out on top,” Renfield spoke as if he was giving an English language voice over to a Japanese porno film.

“You really think so?” Amadeus started to dig into the beef chop suey with his chop sticks.

“I do,” Renfield belched over his 2nd glass of bourbon 🥃 .

“What makes you think so?” Amadeus polished off the Chicken Fried Rice and moved in on the Egg Foo Yong.

“All Kim Jong-un did was just promise to give up his nuclear weapons,” Renfield inhaled a piece of tuna as if it were crack cocaine, “and you know what the singers Simon and Garfunkel said about promises in their song The Boxer?”.

“All lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest,” Amadeus laid aside the pamphlet entitled Overeating Is The Primary Cause of Obesity.

“Exactly,” Renfield poured two more glasses of bourbon 🥃 for himself, “while Trump has gone and openly cancelled the military war games that the U.S. holds with South Korea each year which so pissed off the North, Kim has given very little in return. So it’s a win-win situation for Kim while it’s a Tweet and Brag situation for Trump.”

“What transpired at the summit that led to this?” Amadeus ate a bowl of lychee nuts for dessert.

“Well my spies in Singapore tell me that a beautiful North Korean woman was called upon to make a major sacrifice for her country and give the pompous toupee wearing blowhard Trump a blow job in order that he’d agree to Kim Jong-un’s demands,” Renfield replied.

“How awful,” Amadeus Emanon blew his nose sympathetically for the poor woman.

Meanwhile in his laboratory aquarium at Set Enterprises, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of two classical Roman style busts on display in the British Museum in the near future.

One was a bust of Julius Caesar that bore the inscription, “I came, I saw, I conquered.”

The other was a bust of Donald Trump that said, “I saw, I came, I capitulated.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 12th
2018.

36 Comments

  1. Fiery said,

    “wondered why Porky 🐷 Pig had a spare rib but Adam in the Garden of Eden didn’t.”

    Hahahaha! Brilliant!

    I do love Chinese food, so I was a little distracted by the yummy flavours.

    You have such a unique way of seeing the world and it’s hilarious and possibly a little bit, very, quite, actually clever.

    I know, my Englishes are astoundable. I have a degree and everything 😂😂❤️

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you, Fiery. ❤️

      And thank you for the wonderful compliment. 🤗

      I love 💕 Chinese food as well.

      I have an English degree as well.

      Although English literature was my minor and Philosophy (specializing in Greek Philosophy and Medieval Philosophy and also Philosophy of Religion) was my Major.

      • Fiery said,

        We would have need fast friends at Uni then, definitely.
        Do you speak any Greek?
        I am Greek Cypriot, that’s why I ask.

        I think you and your writings are super duper so you’ll always get compliments from me 😊😊

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No, I studied the Greek philosophers Plato and Aristotle in English translation.

        I did take a course in Ancient Greek History and also a course in Classical Greek and Roman Mythology.

        I also took a course in studying the plays of Aeschylus (but again in English translation).

        I do know a few words in koine Greek from a couple of courses I took in studying the New Testament back in University.

        But other than that, Greek is all Greek to me as one of Shakespeare’s characters might well put it (in fact I think 🤔 he did). 😉

      • Fiery said,

        It seems you like to delve deeper into things, which is a wonderful trait, and one I value a lot 😊

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s wonderful to hear, Fiery. 😊

      • Fiery said,

        You’re a very interesting man. If you has to tell me one intensely interesting thing, what would it be?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        One intensely interesting thing?

        I’ve had so many.

        But on the spot like this.. let me see… well there was an old black and white photo taken of my paternal grandmother on her wedding day.

        But anyways when the picture was developed (and remember there was no Photoshop in those days), the ghost of my paternal great grandmother clearly showed up in the photo on her daughter’s wedding day.

        Ever since I was a kid, I always found that photo extremely interesting.

      • Fiery said,

        Oooooh goosebumps. I lived that
        Super spooky and chilling but so deep and meaningful 😊😊✨

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, it does produce goosebumps when one spots a ghost in the picture but when one realizes the occasion and who the ghost was, it’s rather heartwarming in a sense.

  2. David Redpath said,

    The Singapore Summit ~
    Babylon Connection;
    A state secret of the secretive
    North Korean state, for you eyes
    only Van Helsing . . .
    The North Korean Minister of
    Foreign Affairs, Ri Yong-Ho, is
    actually the grandson of the
    late North Vietnamese leader,
    Ho Chi Minh.
    One of a matching pair of twins
    handed to Kim Il-Sung in return
    for military assistance during
    the Vietnam war. His twin sibling,
    a 👧, was later given to Saddam Hussein, as a token
    of respect (in respect of oil).
    The Korean Foreign Minister’s
    true name is I Ho Ching Mihn,
    codenamed I Ching, since he
    is a master of divination and cosmology. So logically,
    he was the logic choice to
    choose which North Korean
    ‘honey pot’ pulled the short straw
    known as Donald Trump.
    Saying, “I know it’s an old and
    wrinkley abomination, but
    honey, do it for your nation”.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      This is vitally important information, David. 🕵️‍♂️

      Thank you for that.

      It indeed explains a lot.

      And somehow this mysterious individual called Ricardo (the former friend of the one hit wonder Food Channel chef 👨‍🍳 Umberto) got substituted for the Ho family’s Vietnamese pork bellied pig 🐖 (who had a lot of extra spare ribs) and ended up being cooked by Umberto in a demonstration of a recipe on how to cook Vietnamese Pork Chops no doubt in some sort of plot by Ho Babyon Minh to ruin her former boyfriend’s professional chef cooking career.

      It just shows one of the enduring follies of that 1919 Versailles Peace Conference (which also paved the way for the advent of Hitler thanks to the Entente powers’ total humiliation of Germany) when Ho Chi Minh went there and asked the French if they would someday in the near future peacefully grant Vietnam its independence.

      And when the French stupidly said “Non!” “Non!” instead of “Oui! Oui!”, Ho Chi Minh went back to Vietnam a very angry man and that’s when Lenin and Trotsky sent out emissaries to Ho Chi Minh saying that the new Bolshevik Soviet government in Moscow would support the Vietnamese independence movement provided that Ho Chi Minh joined the International Communist movement.

      Ho Chi Minh was originally just a Vietnamese nationalist not a Communist (and interestingly enough the only leader in the U.S. during the 1960s who seemed to be aware of this historical fact was the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.).

      And the rest as they say is History.

      And the Ho family have been causing damage to the world ever since.

      • David Redpath said,

        During WW2, the U.S. government
        even promised the nations
        struggling for independence
        from their first world colonial
        master that for helping the allies
        against the axis powers, they
        would have America’s backing.
        No wonder the Ho twins,
        like sarin piñatas, are out to
        spoil the capitalist party.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed.

  3. thebookwormdrinketh said,

    I love that you managed to squeeze a “Simon and Garfunkel” quote int here! (probably one of my favourite songs!)

  4. ortensia said,

    I loved it but I thought at my evil stepmother all time as her surname is Pirky….I think you got the origin🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Ah that’s interesting. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

      That’s a very good name for an evil 👿stepmother- Pirky. 😂

  5. Orvillewrong said,

    One day Donald J might get it right!

  6. Hyperion said,

    Actually, this is a huge step forward. When The Hildebeast was SecState she gave Mini Rocket Boy the BJ and shortly after that his pecker fell off. This angered him and he began to tinker with bigger bombs. Some said it was gotno weenie syndrome that caused it all.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Undoubtedly the Hildebeast caused a lot of serious harm.

      From overthrowing Qaddafi in Libya which led to civil war and the rise of Islamic extremism there to Syria where Barack O’ Bummer and the Hildebeast trying to overthrow Bashar al-Assad led to civil war and Islamist extremism there.

      If Gen. Abdel Fatah al-Sisi hadn’t overthrown the Muslim Brotherhood government in Egypt 🇪🇬 after O’ Bummer and the Hillarybeast stupidly overthrew the U. S.’s long standing ally Hosni Mubarack, Egypt would have become a major exporter of Islamist terrorism instead of good looking Egyptian actors and beautiful looking Egyptian actresses.

      The only place where an Arab Spring uprising actually worked was in Tunisia 🇹🇳 where the Tunisian people actually started the uprising themselves without any help from the retard dotard “geniuses” in the Hillary-beast’s State Department and O’ Bummer’s inner circle of Saul Alinsky butt kissing bozos.

      • Hyperion said,

        You definitely were paying attention which is more than we can say about our large contingency of voters who supported illegal, unethical, unconstitutional, and immoral activites in the last 8 years previous to the current Dotard Dynasty

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the Dodo bird 🐦 may be dead but the human dotard isn’t.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think the dotards are breeding at an alarming rate. In ten years they will cover the earth. Renfield and Set need to do something.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Pan Goatee is certainly taking care of the fat ugly ones but Renfield and Set need to do something about the rest.

      • Hyperion said,

        I look forward to the day of liberty.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        As do us all. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        I’ve put all my hope in the Egyptian vampire Set and his Enterprise of interesting fellows and especially Sherrylock Holmes. If she can’t whip us to freedom, it can’t be done.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No that’s very true.

        And even though the forces of evil are sending out transgendered Caitlyn Jenner wannabes disguised as Sherrielock Holmes, every self respecting individual knows that there’s only one real genuine Sherrielock Holmes.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, we won’t be fooled by hairy legged poor substitutes.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No , indeed not.

        Counterfeits need not apply.

      • Hyperion said,

        Unless of course its cosplay then anything goes.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Once again causing Cole Porter to raise his eyebrows.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaaa haaaaa haaaaaaa!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        😂

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