Michelangelo’s Dream of The Holy Family In Egypt

June 18, 2018 at 10:52 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Dream of The Holy Family In Egypt

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was fast asleep 💤 on his waterproof pillow in his aquarium at the Set Enterprises laboratory.

He was dreaming about Egypt some two millennia ago.

Egypt was ruled by a Pharaoh who had a toupee hair piece made out of red spider monkey fur.

The colour of the toupee was a vomit 🤮 inducing to look upon urine coloured golden yellow that looked extremely grotesquely unnatural.

Even Pharaoh’s daughter the Princess Ananka Ivanka had commented on the grotesque appearance of her father’s hair.

The Pharaoh’s name was Donaldramses Twitterakhten (German Egyptologists pronounced the last two syllables of his last name achtung).

Donaldramses Twitterakten built huge monuments to himself that would have made Percy Shelley’s Ozymandias look like the epitome of humility.

One of the things he intended to build was a huge wall on Egypt’s border with Palestine to keep out illegal immigrants.

God knows these people created huge problems for previous Pharaohs resulting in one drowning in the Red Sea as a result of some Hebrew tribal god imagining that he was actually the Creator of the Universe.

After all any sensible person would realize that there was no way any god could be superior to he himself the Divine-God Pharaoh Donaldramses Twitterakhten.

And why were these Jews fleeing Judea anyways Pharaoh Donaldramses Twitterakhten thought to himself.

Their ruler King Herod was such a splendid chap.

Donaldramses Twitterakhten himself had proclaimed what a splendid fellow this King Herod was when he met with him in a peace summit on the Isle of Rhodes.

And surely that summit would allow him to win this year’s Pericles Peace Prize.

Pharaoh already had his soldiers on the border to keep out those nasty Jewish refugees.

Families were stopped at the border and separated.

The parents were arrested for illegal entry into Egypt.

They were put into cages.

The children (separated from their parents) were likewise put into cages.

Into this scene the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph emerged against the backdrop of the Pyramids.

Somehow they managed to avoid Pharaoh’s soldiers on the border.

Michelangelo recognized Joseph walking in sandals (alongside the Virgin Mary holding the infant Jesus in her arms as she rode a donkey) from a picture on a waterproof Christmas card that Amadeus Emanon had given him this past Christmas.

Before Michelangelo could say Jack Robinson, Pharaoh’s soldiers descended on the Holy Family and surrounded them with spears.

The baby Jesus was separated from Mary and Joseph and put into a cage.

Meanwhile in Alexandria, Pharaoh Donaldramses Twitterakhten received a standing ovation from his most religiously inclined supporters at a Let’s Make Egypt Great Again rally.

Pharaoh’s wife as soon as she heard about the policy of separating children from their parents and putting them in cages publicly voiced displeasure with her husband’s policy.

Pharaoh displeased asked members of his bodyguard to find a way to “accidentally” throw his wife into a pit of poisonous snakes.

There was no way his wife was going to make an asp out of him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 18th
2018.

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25 Comments

  1. ortensia said,

    Religion,politic and fantasy finely plotted❤️

  2. Apple Rae said,

    This is an intense scene that was brilliantly crafted with that incredible sense of humour it cracked me up real hard. The Pharoah’s name and the ending though lmao! You nailed it lol are these characters just part of Michaelangelo’s dream/imagination or you have written some chapters about Donaldramses Twitterakhten before? I think Ive once read about her daughter Princess Ananka Ivanka in your previous chapters but his father was new to my senses. Anyway, this is really hilarious. Haha. I love it.

  3. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    Thank you very much, Apple. ❤

    I once wrote a chapter about the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka before.

    She appeared in a chapter with Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander.

    This is the first chapter where I’ve written about Pharaoh Donaldramses Twitterakten and his daughter Princess Ananka Ivanka.

    They are figures of Michelangelo’s dream/imagination but chances are I’ll have Michelangelo dreaming about them again. 😉

  4. David Redpath said,

    Theology A-Go-Go.
    But Chris, between you,
    me, and Michelangelo,
    it just WordPress …
    so who will ever know?
    The F.B.I. are too busy tracking down that Babylonian connection.
    And all the Pharoah’s men
    got their feet wet
    at the Red Sea crossing.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      And they’re still looking for the missing High Priestess Hillarion’s hieroglyphs which were apparently hacked by the Babylonians.

  5. Orvillewrong said,

    As always totally brilliant!

  6. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    The pharaoh has been an asp for years! A BIG asp! 😉 😀
    HUGS!!! 😛

  7. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    Brilliant as always.
    Have you ever thought to send your articles to some of the newspaper?
    Could have been fun to read your articles every week on comedic political agendas. LOL

    So, the Trumpy boy was or is an immortal?
    Geeezzz …. horrible …

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much, Sherry. 😀

      I once had a weekly column in the Sherwood Park News in the town where I used to live with my dad.

      And later for The Saint Albert Gazette in Saint Albert which is a city just north of Edmonton.

      I often wrote political satiric comedy topics.

      Fortunately for humanity, Trump is not an immortal (Thank God!).

      I’ve yet to decide whether this obnoxious forgotten to history Egyptian Pharaoh is just a figment of imagination of Michelangelo’s dreams or whether he was a real distant ancestor of Trump and Michelangelo is picking up visions from the past as he sometimes does in addition to visions from the future.

      • shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

        Trump’s team reminded me so much of Jehovah Witness people who loves to stalks the neighbourhood and I stalked them back by asking why there is Satan’s image in their magazine. I keep asking them that until they seems to go so mad with me and starting to say that makes no sense. I drove them away then! LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Glad you drove away the satanic Jehovah’s Witnesses, Sherry. 😀

        Now if we could just do the same to the satanic Trump and his endless eternity of bad hair days. 😂

      • shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

        Well, Trump has his own so-called religious team at the White House.
        He claimed to be a Christian … but a bloody one …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Trump is about as much of a Christian as Adolf Hitler was.

      • shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

        Adolf Hitler was suppose(d) to be an artist and there were rumours and old stories of him when he was younger, he was a kind that sees the beauty and arts. He knows of good arts. It was later when his mother gets so ill that had had changed him into a devil … something had got hold of him that he is beyond darkness itself …

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s very interesting, Sherry.

        I did not know that.

      • shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

        Neither do I.
        That was not until I read a book of an actress who wrote how she met him for the first time when they were teenagers.
        He was a different boy back then and just like any other regular boys, he was perfectly normal until his mother went so ill that had changed him into a monster later in his adult life …

        Or probably no one knows that he was mentally ill even before that … he knows …

        Hey, Chris!
        Did WhatsApp you like a day or two, but you have not reply.
        Not sure if you have not receive my messages or that my WhatsApp has problem again.
        I could not write, neither anyone receiving messages from me too. Odd enough.
        Not even pics get through to my family in Malaysia.

        Can U check if you do receive my WhatsApp messages and pics. If yes, do try to write back to me and send the example of pics that I send to you in return.

        I really do not like technology sometimes … it is either makes one life easier or harder …
        *sigh*

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No, I haven’t received any WhatsApp messages from you, Sherry. 😐

        The last post I can read I think is the link to a vampire novel chapter on my blog that I posted 3 days ago.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Hi Sherry,
        The thought occurred to me to check the WhatsApp section with your phone number alone rather than the 3 Blogoteers’ phone numbers.

        The message did come through there.

        So I replied.

        The pics came through all right.

        Didn’t recognize the actor although he’s drinking a cup of coffee ☕️ in one pic,

        I rather stupidly thought you were in Paris in my reply.

        Then I noticed reading the message again that’s the caption I’m supposed to send you in my email to you with the photos.

        Can’t email you the photos back.

        I’m having trouble downloading my photos from WhatsApp to the photos section on my iPhone.

        But I did get the photos and your message. 🙂

        I also gave you my mailing addresss in my reply back to you in your phone number section on the WhatsApp.

  8. David Redpath said,

    Reblogged this on David Redpath and commented:
    “The government you elect is
    ithe government you deserve.”
    ~ Thomas Jefferson

    Man’s ego is inflated,
    his laws outdated,
    they don’t apply no more.
    You can’t rely no more to
    be standin’ around waitin’
    In the home of the brave
    Jefferson turnin’ over in his grave
    Fools glorify themselves,
    training to manipulate Satan
    And there’s a slow, slow train
    comin’ up around the bend
    ~ Bob Dylan

  9. ivor20 said,

    I’m over here on David’s reblog, and thoroughly enjoyed your brilliant satirical post. Sadly though your story is all so true…..
    https://ivors20.wordpress.com/2018/07/08/i-am-not-a-child-i-am-an-adult-i-can-help/

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