Peter Whitstable: On The Trail of Demon Possessed Dogs In The English Countryside

July 15, 2018 at 11:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Peter Whitstable: On The Trail of Demon Possessed Dogs In The English Countryside

British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked after watching Infowars Conspiracy Theorist Alex Jones on YouTube on his laptop, “This Alex Jones is an idiot for calling New York’s 14th Congressional District Democratic Party nominee Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a Communist. The man doesn’t seem to know the difference between a Communist and a Eurosocialist.”

“And then of course,” Amadeus Emanon remarked in reply, “There’s British television interviewer Piers Morgan who’s an idiot for not knowing that journalist Ash Sarkar is a Communist when everyone else in Britain knows that Ash Sarkar is a self admitted Communist.”

“That was pretty funny,” Renfield smiled, “when pompous Piers said to her “You talk like a Communist” and Ash replied, “I am a Communist, you idiot.” “

. . .

Vladimir Putin lay down to rest.

Today he awarded the 2018 FIFA World Cup to France 🇫🇷.

Tomorrow he’d be meeting America’s Twitterer-In-Chief Donald Trump.

As Putin lay on his pillow, a raven flew in through the window and cried, “Beware the Lobsters of July!
Beware the Lobsters of July!”.

A bust of Pallas Athena fell off his bedroom writing table.

And a leather bound old volume copy of The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe fell off his book shelf.

The raven turned and flew out the window.

“What the Hell,” Putin wondered, “does that mean?”.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol was trekking through the English countryside.

A pair of demonically possessed dogs were running loose.

They had escaped after an exorcism attempt was performed on them by the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the vicar of Saint Swithin’s By The Floodwaters Parish Church.

They had then tried to attack U. S. President Donald Trump at a statue unveiling outside The Trump Arms Pub in London.

And now they were running lose in the English countryside creating chaos and havoc.

Eating sheep 🐑 and then regurgitating goats 🐐.

One of the demon possessed dogs used to be a Dachshund named Bashful.

He had now turned into a giant spectral wolfhound who was the Hound of The Baskervilles Reincarnated.

The other demon possessed dog was a Welsh corgi named Friendly.

He had since turned into a dog with the body of a Saint Bernard but he now had 3 heads- the head of a Rottweiler, the head of a Bassett hound and the head of a chihuahua.

Whitstable stumbled onto an English country pub.

He decided to go inside and ask them if they had seen the demon possessed dogs who were somewhat recognizable in appearance.

When he came through the door, he noticed to his surprise the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith sitting on a chair at the end of the bar.

“Good evening, Mr. Whitstable,” she smiled her sweet Vampiric incisors at him, “Can you tell me where your friend Dracul Van Helsing is?”.

“What do you want with Van Helsing?” Whitstable asked.

At that moment, a copy of the Kama Sutra fell off one of the pub book shelves.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 15th
2018.

13 Comments

  1. velvetscreams said,

    Enthralling piece👌👌👊👊

  2. Hyperion said,

    Another masterful piece of wit and prescience into the world affairs. My first guffaw occurred when the dogs were eating sheep and regurgitating goats. Then without respite I learn the horror is perpetrated by a Dachshund and Corgi somewhat morphed. It was all intriguing guffawisms from there. Loved the symbolism’s of the ravens and of course Lilith and her Kama sutra speak of Van Helsing impending rapture.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much, Daniel. 😀

      Glad it provided much guffawing and merriment. 👍

      No doubt your computer screen enjoyed your sharing your coffee and your bourbon with it as well. 😋

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes indeed. My monitor benefits greatly from my coffee and bourbon habits.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        A very happy computer monitor indeed. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes it was, shortly after it fell off the ottoman where I keep it handy. Jeffery would be proud.

  3. David Redpath said,

    Four men, and four men only
    enter a private room at the Presidential Palace, Helsinki.
    One, with the predatory glare
    of a Siberian wolf, and his interpreter.
    The other with hair the colour
    of a Welsh corgi, and his
    interpreter.
    The two interpreters will
    soon be ‘disappeared’. Only
    to be ‘reappeared’ for the next meeting.
    The old street wise dog
    has found his bitch.
    Consummation on neutal ground.
    What could be better than this?
    But what the new Czar
    really wants to know is WTF
    does ‘July Lobster’ mean?

  4. amoralegria said,

    I imagine Putin will sleep really soundly tonight!

  5. ortensia said,

    A “doglithful “piece😍

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