Night of The Blood Red Moon

July 27, 2018 at 11:00 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Night of The Blood Red Moon

The Greek Goddess Hera

“Go forth, Hermes,” Hera commanded, “and ask the Pythian sibyl high priestess of Apollo at Delphi what shall be the first sign marking the beginning of the age of sorrows that shall commence in the 2nd Coming of the Holy One born in Bethlehem of Judea.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up screeching in his aquarium when he heard the Pythia’s response to Hermes’ question.

. . .

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA shifted on his feet uncomfortably outside the Oval Bathroom 🚽 of the White House as Donald Trump was having a bowel movement inside and firing off the latest DARPA secret weapon – a cruise tweet- at the entire political and military leadership of Iran.

The U.S. leader then checked his incoming tweets.

“What?” The Donald cried, “Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan just told me to go fuck myself because I demanded the release of American pastor Andrew Brunson from one of those sodomite Turkish prisons where the Turkish guards have a field day. I can’t do that to myself. It isn’t long enough for one thing…”

. . .

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was examining the work of Israeli scientist Saul Kullok.

Kullok had been examining the work of British scientist Sir Isaac Newton.

Newton had apparently studied the entire Old Testament in the original Hebrew and in his book The Chronology of Ancient Kingdoms published in 1728 a year after Newton’s death in 1727, Kullok had noticed that Newton had inserted his own detailed drawings of Solomon’s original Temple in Chapter V of the Book.

Newton in the Book claimed that Solomon’s Temple was a building whose dimensions corresponded to the measurements of the cosmos and the building was constructed in an architectural code that precisely detailed the mathematical measurements of the universe.

Dr. Rocher did not know what to think of either Kullok’s or Newton’s work as he turned off his laptop where he had been reading Kullok’s essays.

However Dr. Rocher had used Newton’s detailed drawings of Solomon’s Temple to program his 3-D laser printer to print an exact replica model (on a smaller scale of course) of the original First Temple for the Temple Mount Faithful an organization in Israel seeking to build the Third Temple.

As Dr. Cadbury Rocher was about to leave his office at the Set Enterprises lab as he heard the shrieks of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster coming from his aquarium, he got a phone call on his smart phone.

It was from his boss the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s archenemy the Paris-based billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampiress Isis.

She was phoning to discuss the building of the Third Temple in Jerusalem of all things.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had just inhaled a whiff of marijuana smoke that was exhaled by Strawberry Fields Forever (which was the name of his genetically created pot smoking cactus 🌵 plant).

As such, Justin to his horror saw the ET gray Gali-Gula that he always saw whenever he inhaled pot smoke.

“So tell me, Gali,” Justin said as he looked up through the glass ceiling of his plant greenhouse for signs of the blood red moon 🌚, “who is your planet Nibiru’s greatest scientist?”.

Justin had been recalling earlier in the day how when Canada’s asshole then Prime Minister Brian Mulroney had announced his retirement, the Israeli government had awarded him the Israeli National Science and Technology Medal.

“Nibiru’s greatest scientist is Pythagogorgosaurus,” Gali-Gula replied.

“Has he recently communicated with earth?” Justin asked as he started to whistle the tune to the old Beatles song Strawberry Fields Forever.

“The last time he communicated with Earth was when he received a laser message from a glowing white globe that was sent into outer space by Donald Trump and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman,” Gali-Gula answered.

“Really?” Justin answered as he fell face forward into the bush of Alberta Wild Roses inside his greenhouse and started to sing, “Hey Jude, don’t ask me why. Sing a sad song and make it better…”

. . .

The blood red moon over Athens:

Hera to Apollo (as they stood underneath their respective statues): “And so rises the sign foretold by your high priestess…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 27th


  1. David Redpath said,

    Trump supporters chanting
    “Forty More Years”, outside
    the scale replica of the
    Third Temple constructed
    on the White House front
    lawn. A retro neon flashing,
    ‘Trump Temple Tower of Power’.
    The push to extend to 40
    years U.S. Presidential
    terms came about with the
    discovery of Sir Isaac Newton’s calculation that the
    Second Coming would be
    in the year 2060 A.D.
    Plus the fact that Trump
    was the first recipient of
    ‘Everlasting Suppository’.
    Apparently this procedure
    requires a blood transfusion
    from a mysterious ‘Donor Zero’.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      “Everlasting suppository” and a blood transfusion from a mysterious Donor Zero.

      Usually most such “everlasting transfusions” involve a bite on the jugular vein in the neck.

      But a bite up the anus would definitely be far more appropriate in the case of someone like Trump.

      • David Redpath said,

        They don’t call it the Everlasting Suppository of
        Rectal Longevity for nothing,
        Van Helsing.

  2. Silent Hour said,

    Another busy day for everyone. Will they make an oval bathroom in the third temple?

  3. Apple Rae said,

    “I can’t do that to myself. It isn’t long enough for one thing…” rofl 🤣🤣🤣🤣 you nailed it there, Dracul. I also noticed how adding song lyrics add more spice to your stories, and no one does it better than you. So original with a humour that blends perfectly well with the story line. If you can get the readers sing with you and laugh with you, that means you really are a master writer! 😍

  4. Hyperion said,

    The Great Orange Orifice sending DARPA cruise tweets from the Oval Restroom while committing American taxpayers to the GOO dump costs is sheer genius. This is what a true Republican multi-tasker can achieve given the reigns of the worlds most toilet and tweet obsessed country.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Trump stands as a true symbol of contemporary 21st Century America.

      “Golden bowel movement’s majesty
      from sea to shining sea…”

      • Hyperion said,

        From sea to shining sea. And of course the GOO dumps are shipped to Calliformia for disposal in Madame Piglosi’s district as repayment for voting almost exclusively for the Hildebeast and giving birth to the Anti-GOO movement. Thus Tweeted Zarathustra.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        More golden asphalt for the streets of San Francisco (as opposed to the straights of San Francisco- of which there are very few).

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, it is very important to Madame Piglosi to keep San Francisco covered in poo so she can campaign for more money to clean the streets. She jas been very sucessful in getting large armies of homeless people to come to San Francisco to use the bathroom on the sidewalks. This has resulted in a $30 million annual increase in city funds for clean up. Madame Piglosi is quite clever.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, whereas many politicians have found a way to piss taxpayers’ money down the drain, Madame Piglosoi has managed to find a way to shit taxpayers’ money down the sidewalks.

      • Hyperion said,

        She always was a trend setter. By getting virtually everything she does wrong and by the fact she is adored by every alt-left soul, she is able to change the universe from a well running machine to an explosion of gleeful ineptitude.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez must be very grateful that Nancy Piglosi doesn’t like her.

        This increase her election chances in Queens and the Bronx.

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL 😂 it’s amazing how the top Dem boosts another Dems chances of election by disliking them.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I find that hilariously funny. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        I wonder if Set Enterprise can get to the bottom of it. Hopefully there are no Democratic sphinctoral surprises awaiting the intrepid spelunkers.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes God and undoubtedly the Devil as well only knows what colours will emerge from Democratic sphictorial surprises.

        I was just reading an article tonight which talked about the origins of the colour Royal Tyrian Purple when it was first created as a colour for garments millennia ago.

        Apparently Royal Tyrian Purple was a substance created by using the fecal excrement produced from the anuses of a variety of small snails 🐌 found in ancient Phoenicia.

        God only knows what will emerge from the anuses of Nancy Pelosi Style Democrats.

        However I suspect unlike the Phoenician snails 🐌, it won’t be a pretty sight.

  5. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    They need to ask Gali-Gula for his ET’s balls productions for advice.
    ETs are still on the search to make some balls for themselves.
    Never succeed.
    Cannot imagine they make porn or corns without balls or any semi circle objects.

    That is why the red moon existed … true unknown extraterrestrial fact … LOL

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      LOL 😂!

      I suppose that’s why ET grays like Gali-Gula don’t wear any panties. 🤣

      Since they don’t have any balls or genitalia of any sort, they don’t have to worry about changing their panties a different colour after premature ejaculation or orgasm like what happened to Pan Goatee and his beautiful female admirer that was wearing the short skirt. 😂

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