The Hall of The Baskervilles: A Poem

July 28, 2018 at 9:44 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Hall of The Baskervilles: A Poem

The hall of the Baskervilles stands empty now
Only living creature seen is a neighbour’s stray cow
It’s been over a century since Sherlock Holmes cracked the case
of this spectral hound who lacked amazing grace
Sir Henry Baskerville has taken Mrs. Stapleton for his bride
as Holmes and Watson left the moor in a carriage ride
Sir Henry and his wife only had one son
An only child- Simon full of spark and fun

During the Great War, Simon Baskerville served as a spy
He arranged the fall of Zeppelins from the sky
So great and masterful a spy was he
pissing off the High Command of Germany
Kaiser Wilhelm II personally ordered his death
“This last Baskerville must soon be devoid of breath”
And so the order went out to German Intelligence Agent Count von Klamp
A man who dated a sexy Valkyrie vamp
He sent the vamp to England fair
This vampiress with Aryan blonde hair
She seduced Simon on a dark and stormy night
The kind that gives Bulwer-Lytton’s prose a fright
And Simon had from his body every ounce of his manly blood drained
While outside the thunder roared as storm clouds rained

Simon was knighted posthumously
by George V in full ceremony
Count von Klamp attended the funeral knighting in disguise
while the Valkyrie wore dark glasses over her eyes

Today Baskerville Hall stands deserted and desolate
Preservation efforts made quite the mess of it
On some nights locals say the demonic hound can still be seen
Devil’s hound instead of God’s Lamb in Devon’s pastures green

And in the empty Baskerville Hall
Dashwood Forrest walked examining the wall
He was looking for a portrait painting of Sir Simon
He had a buyer a millionaire Steak Kidney 🥧 pie man

He came to the place on the wall it was supposed to be
And there stood Allatallahbel in all her vampiress glory

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal standing in front of an empty portrait picture frame in Baskerville Hall

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 28th


  1. Silent Hour said,

    The Hound of the Baskervilles is a favorite story. Nice twist!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, the Hound of The Baskervilles is my favourite Sherlock Holmes story.

      • Silent Hour said,

        Have you watched ‘Sherlock’ with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I saw a couple of episodes of that particular TV show when I lived in Vancouver.

        They were both extremely well done- the episodes I saw.

      • Silent Hour said,

        One of the stories they had done was Baskerville.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Unfortunately, I never saw that one.

        The one I saw was a special 2 hour episode where Sherlock Holmes goes back in time in the “mind palace” in his mind and becomes the Sherlock Holmes as he was originally written about in the Conan Doyle stories – a detective of the 19th Century.

        He investigates if I remember correctly some sort of ghost of a Victorian bride who commits murders.

        I remember there was some sort of occultic cult sacrifice ceremony in the movie and I also remember Holmes in his life and death struggle with Moriarty on Reichenbach Falls and Dr. Watson shows up in the nick of time to rescue him.

      • Silent Hour said,

        I can’t remember this one at all. I generally liked the show – the fast pace and modern twists. The Baskerville version was very good. I recommend it, if you ever have the time to look for it.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I’ll be sure to look for it.

  2. George F. said,

    Brilliant, as always. And your Vampiress can have my blood…

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I imagine she probably could, George. 😂

      As you walk in for a closer on-hands inspection of that work of art. 🤣

  3. Hyperion said,

    Run Forrest, Run! Loved this one Chris. It tells a graphic story in the rhythm and rhyme that makes you want to sing along. And that vampiress of Baal is to die for. 😍🤪😜

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Advice from Forrest”s mother: A vampiress with nice knockers is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.

      And many have died for the Vampiress of Baal. 😍😜😛

      • Hyperion said,

        I imagine one goes back to the box of chocolate enthralled with each new experience. 😛

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Lots of cream in those chocolates. 😜

      • Hyperion said,

        That’s the best part of chocolate production, putting the filling in the shell. It is such rewarding work.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It’s funny how some stuff winds up on laptop and computer screens after production.

        For which we can all be thankful for the development of Sherrielock Holmes’ Bavarian Magic Mushroom Stain Remover.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, what grim monitors we would have indeed, without Sherrie’s magic mushroom cleaner.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Computer screens reap what we sow.

        So instead of what looks like wild oatsmeal on our screens, we can be thankful that Sherrielock has found the weapon that has slain the grim reaper.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes indeed! Buying a new monitor after every delightful episode would get expensive.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed. $$$$$$$$$$$$$

  4. Apple Rae said,

    You couldn’t say no to a beauty like Allatallahbel 😍

    A very well penned poem, Dracul. Loved it! ♥️🤗

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much, Apple. ❤️🤗

      No, indeed you could not say No to a beauty like Allatallahbel. 😍

  5. David Redpath said,

    Yes, I’ve heard a night out
    with a Valkyrie vamp
    can leave you with a case
    of Count von Klamp.
    A cautionary and eerie tale
    very well told, Chris.

  6. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    Allatallahbel sounded so much like the bastard Beersheba’s child or the damned daughter of Jezebel or Delilah.

    Once again, you simply nailed it with this one, Chris!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much, Sherry. 🙂

      I sure appreciate that. 😀

      And you’re right, Allatallahbel is either Beersheba’s bastard child or the daughter of Jezebel or Delilah.

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