Westminster Terror Attack, Global Nuclear War and Most Livable Cities

August 14, 2018 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Westminster Terror Attack, Global Nuclear War and Most Livable Cities

CNN’s Anderson Cooper (speaking directly into the camera): Meanwhile a high ranking police source in London has told CNN News that the suspect arrested in today’s terrorist motor vehicle attack running down cyclists near the Westminster Parliament in the British capital has specifically requested that British MP Renfield R. Renfield not be allowed to interrogate him.
The suspect is said to be extremely terrified at the prospect of a Renfieldian interrogation and had put in a special request to the Prime Minister’s office that Sir Renfield not be allowed to interrogate him.
The same police source told CNN News that “some bleeding heart liberal in the Prime Minister’s office acceded to the suspect’s request.”
Sir Renfield R. Renfield MP has apparently cemented a reputation in the world of criminals, terrorists and drug dealers as being utterly ruthless in his interrogations of and even slow and painfully administered deaths of the individuals who inhabit the dark underbelly and shadowlands of the world global community.

. . .

Rosalynn Carter looked at her husband former U.S. President Jimmy Carter who looked ashen white when he put down his smart phone.

“Who was that who was calling, dear?” Rosalynn asked.

“I’d rather not say just yet,” Carter gulped, “I’m still having trouble accepting the gist of the conversation. I can’t believe that even someone like him would even ask such a question and even contemplate 🤔 such an action.”

“What was the question he asked?” Rosalynn wanted to know.

“He asked me whether I thought it was possible in all sincerity and honesty for the United States to win a global thermonuclear war and emerge both relatively intact and supremely triumphant,” Jimmy answered, “I tried telling him that it wasn’t but he didn’t seem convinced.”

Carter looked at the TV screen in their living room where Donald Trump’s smiling image appeared waving to supporters and giving the thumbs up.

. . .

“So,” Amadeus Emanon munched on potato chips, “I hear that the Economist Magazine Intelligence Unit has just come out with its list of the world’s Top 10 most livable cities.”

“Yes, I read that. Apparently the city of Calgary made #4 on the list of the Top 10,” Renfield was reading a magazine article about bloated cows 🐄, “a friend of mine who lives in Calgary said that Calgary might have made #1 on the list if there weren’t so many fat ugly blimps living in the city. The sight of such repulsive looking creatures, he tells me, succeeds in putting an immense damper on what is otherwise a magnificently beautiful city.”

“That’s very sad,” Amadeus reached for a glass of coconut 🥥 milk 🥛.

“It is,” Renfield put aside his slice of cheese after reading the article on bloated cows 🐄, “maybe if Pan Goatee increases his pace by quite a lot, Calgary might win the #1 spot next year.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 14th


  1. Hyperion said,

    The GOO may be on to something. Our analysis reveals that it’s possible to kickstart the long awaited zombie apocalypse with a proper conflagration of atoms. I think the portly Calgary populace should be preserved as a handy emergency meal plan for all the zombies participating in the zombie apocalypse. That would ensure the more bootie modest populace could survive by running from the hungry and distracted zombies. 🏃🏻‍♂️🏃‍♀️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      An excellent idea, Daniel my friend.

      An excellent idea. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        Perhaps a way to give Pan Goatee a chance to rest.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, he’s been working quadruple overtime these days. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        Oh surely that violates the fair labor laws for assassins.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very much so.

        If Donald Trump’s Secretary of Labor wasn’t a union buster of some sort (I imagine he probably is having been appointed by Trump), Pan Goatee could write a letter of complaint.

      • Hyperion said,

        Hopefully some relief can be found for our overworked esthetics agent, Pan Goatee. Often the best of the best are overworked by their non-contributing management structure simply because they get results where all others fall short of accomplishing enough to justify the bosses’ Christmas bonus.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s very very true.

  2. velvetscreams said,

    another educative piece👏👏👏…

  3. David Redpath said,

    I wonder who would be asking
    a one term ex President for
    such strategic military advice?
    Especially one still recovering
    from a Persian steam room
    reaming, by the Ayatollah!?

  4. David Redpath said,

    Particularly when there is
    another ex prez more up-to-date
    with catastrophic military
    failures, such as George W. !?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      If the insane person should happen to contact George W., George W.’s advice would be to ask Saudi Arabia’s
      🇸🇦 House of Saud for permission first since no President in recent American history (be he Democrat or Republican) ever does anything in terms of foreign (or sometimes even domestic) policy without the permission of the House of Saud first.

      One can’t even win a major U.S. political party Presidential nomination without the blessing of the House of Saud.

      As Sen. Bernie Sanders found out back in 2016.

      • David Redpath said,

        Look around you,
        it’s just bound to make you embarrassed
        Sheiks walking around like kings, wearing fancy jewels and nose rings
        Deciding America’s future from Amsterdam and to Paris
        And there’s slow, slow train coming up around the bend.
        ~ Bob Dylan

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Bob Dylan- a great poet and a great prophet.

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