Apple, Pomegranate… Or Me?

August 18, 2018 at 10:42 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Apple, Pomegranate… Or Me?

Three rabbis walked into a bar.

After having been in the next door delicatessen where they had bought kosher smoked meat and kosher rye bread to make sandwiches.

The three were having a violent argument.

One rabbi argued that the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden was an apple 🍎 since the logo on his Mac computer told him so.

Another rabbi argued that the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden was in fact a pomegranate since his knowledge of the location of the Garden of Eden and knowledge of Middle Eastern history and geography and botany told him so.

The third rabbi argued that it might have been a tomato 🍅 or a banana 🍌 since his leather skirted dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes and a conversation with a Muslim imam had alerted him to those possibilities.

The bartender insisted that it was a watermelon 🍉 since he owned a watermelon stand in addition to his kosher tavern business.

A hairstylist named Samson insisted that it was an avocado 🥑 since the Twitterer-In-Chief’s red spider monkey fake news hairpiece toupee had told him so.

The long-haired Samson then threw the three rabbis out of the bar and headed off to sleep with his girlfriend Delilah (a fellow hairstylist) for the night prior to having a wrestling match against Dwayne The Rock Johnson tomorrow.

Little did Samson realize that his girlfriend Delilah had placed a $500,000 bet with a Las Vegas bookie for the Rock to win.

Otherwise he might not have been so anxious to go to her place.

He arrived in her bedroom where Delilah had the betting paper 📝 with the name of the Rock on it next to a pair of scissors ✂️ on her drawer.

It was all there.

Paper. Rock. Scissors.

But sadly for him, he didn’t notice.

. . .

Eve woke up.

The blonde beauty in her black nightie mini dress had had a disturbing dream.

But for the life of her, she couldn’t remember what it was.

She thought she saw some sort of reflection in her bedroom mirror.

So she walked over for a closer look.

It was then she encountered the following (what she had dreamed about earlier):

Rose or fruit?

. . .

Multitudes of millennia earlier, another Eve awakened.

The Eve who was the mother of us all.

The Eve who had eaten the Forbidden Fruit and therefore knew what fruit 🍉 🍎 🍌 🍅 it was.

The Eve who along with her husband Adam had been expelled from the Garden of Eden.

The Eve who had been seduced by Lucifer with his serpent like wiles.

And the Phoenix (possessed by Lucifer with its beautiful multicoloured feathers and wings) was turned into a slithering snake 🐍 forced to crawl on its belly.

The Phoenix with its beautiful colours and wings and feathers would live on in the memories of the Far East with that region’s accounts of the beautiful colourful winged dragons 🐉 that were in fact beneficent in character.

The snake (formerly the Phoenix) would live on in the memories of the Western world as the dragons of fierce countenance who were malevolent in character.

Eve awoke.

She who had given birth to Cain and Abel.

And now one son Cain had slain the other Abel.

Eve wept.

“Eve,” a voice spoke.

It was her husband Adam.

She looked at him.

He looked different.

“Come know me,” his hands reached out to her.

She approached him.

She did not bother to notice the strange sinister red glow in his eyes.

And so Eve once again came to know her “husband Adam”.

But really she had once again come to know the “Voice behind the forbidden fruit”.

Eve gave birth to Lilith 9 months later.

Eventually Eve would come to know her actual husband Adam again and give birth to Seth.

But before Seth she had given birth to Lilith.


Daughter of Eve.


Daughter of Lucifer.


The world’s first vampiress.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 18th


  1. Leyla said,

    A very interesting read.

  2. ronlanhamwriting said,

    LOL Excellent picture.

  3. Apple Rae said,

    Great twist at the end! Now it’s all clear where Lilith came from. Love the title too! Ofcourse it’s Apple lmao

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, Apple. ☺

      Of course it’s hard for a story to go wrong with Apple in the title.😆

      • Apple Rae said,

        lol you’re very welcome, Chris!

  4. Fiery said,

    Enchanted and mesmerised
    Such legends and myths and in some people’s eyes, literal truths, have a deep effect on me. As does your writing, in posts or comments. It’s an odd sensation you elicit from me , but I like it.
    I heard it definitely wasn’t an apple- that’s just what the evil demon secret seminar which decided what was to be included in each religion decided, which included among other things, a fear and loathing of the divine feminine, a castigation of the orgasm, which is the closest mere mortals can feel to divinity, a condemnation of the truth and an obfuscation of true enlightenment.
    I mean…so I’ve heard

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Those were the lies that were told about Lilith in the Babylonian Talmud and certain stories in Kabbalistic folklore.

      That’s why she’s planning to destroy the State of Israel.

      • Fiery said,

        Gotcha. 😉 This all makes so much sense to me, that the news on TV is even more bullshitty than usual

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very true, Fiery.

        Small pockets of U.S. troops and Russian troops have been firing on one another and killing each other in Syria.

        And we’re hearing nothing about it in most news broadcasts.

      • Fiery said,

        It’s ridiculous, the truth of what is really going and what bile is bitterly poured into public ears and eyes. Disgusts me mosts days

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