Dracul and Qonzilqointec On Feast Day of Saint Pius X

August 21, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, love, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracul and Qonzilqointec On Feast Day of Saint Pius X

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was waiting for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

She wore a low-cut short skirted red rose 🌹 decorated white mini dress and a pair of spiked stiletto high-heeled sandals 👡 whose colour matched her purse 👜.

As soon as Dracul saw her, he realized right then and there that he’d have to take her right then and there on the spot.

Qonzilqointec was expecting that (in fact she was immensely looking forward to it) and so she hadn’t worn any panties under her dress.

Dracul mounted her and they engaged in several hours of highly orgasmic tantric sex which had a major effect on the Ring of Fire around the Pacific Ocean 🌊.

Coincidentally 69 (yes, 69) major earthquakes hit the Ring of Fire and the area around the Yellowstone super volcano 🌋 was on high alert.

. . .

August 21st was the Feast Day of Pope Saint Pius X.

Pope Francis didn’t really relish celebrating the Feast as Saint Pius X had been a Pope who believed in the existence of Hell (much to Pope Francis’ discomfort).

Nevertheless he said a commemoration Mass today for the sake of appearances.

No telling what Cardinal Raymond Burke and Cardinal Robert Sarah would have said if he hadn’t.

Pope Francis then left the Mass for his meeting to discuss the environment and sustainable development for Earth 🌏 Mother Gaia with Lev Tomi the Secretary of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.

Lev Tomi was a vampire.

In his mortal life he had been the Russian Bolshevik revolutionary Leon Trotsky who had a falling out with Josef Stalin and was expelled from the USSR in February 1929.

It was on this date August 21st back in 1940 that Trotsky had been bitten on the neck and turned into a vampire by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in Mexico City.

The bite that changed him from mortal to vampiric immortal happened shorty after midnight 🕛 Mexico City local time on August 21st.

If he hadn’t been turned into a vampire, he would have succumbed to his head wounds from an ice pick attack to the head and died.

The ice pick attack happened on August 20th 1940 in Mexico City and was administered by Spanish-born Stalinist agent Ramon Mercader acting on Stalin’s orders.

Trotsky’s “death” was announced to the world as a way to prevent any further attacks on his person by agents of Josef Stalin (it also saved Stalinist agents the embarrassment of having to carry Crosses and Crucifixes and Holy Water as well as hawthorn wooden stakes on their person in an effort to dispose of Trotsky in his current state).

Trotsky changed his name to Lev Tomi and moved to New York City where he worked as a non-starving artist (since he didn’t have to pay to drink blood- his main diet).

When the United Nations was formed in 1945, he got a job working at the UN in New York and worked his way up to become Secretary of The UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.

“So,” Pope Francis asked Trotsky aka Tomi, “how shall we bring about a world global government to save Mother Earth 🌏?”.

Tomi aka Trotsky told him.

. . .

One of Israel’s leading Kabbalistic rabbis was giving an address in a synagogue on how various mystical rabbis throughout the centuries had predicted the arrival of an alien 👽 ET saviour from another planet who would be the ultimate blessed hope of the Jewish people.

The Mossad agent who was codenamed the Controller of the Golem sat in the front row of the synagogue 🕍 in a state of shock.

Never before had he heard such utter blasphemy.

His gentile guests the Byzantine vampiress Theodora and Prince Vlad Dracula of Wallachia and Count of Transylvania were likewise shocked 😳 😮 as they sat in the front row.

What was really disturbing the Controller thought to himself was that this same Kabbalistic rabbi (who had just prophesied the advent of an alien 👽 ET saviour from another planet) had numerous gentile disciples in America- most of whom were well-known supposedly “Christian” televangelists.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 21st

Qonzilqointec on an historic date-
in every sense of that word.


  1. David Redpath said,

    So glad to learn that Leon Trotsky,
    my favourite Bolshevik, survived,
    in a fashion, that murderous
    demagog Stalin.
    Coincidentally, my great autie,
    Dorothy Round, was a secretary
    for the Australian contingent
    to the United Nations, at the
    same time.
    After many, many years she
    returned home, and kept very much to herself having never married. She would only
    attend family get togethers
    when held in the evenings,
    at which she would always
    get quite drunk. Being the
    youngest, I was given the
    usual job of keeping an eye on Auntie Dot, as she would
    wander about muttering.
    So I was the only one who
    paid any attention to the things she would say.
    After a very, very long life, she just disappeared one day.
    But not before presenting
    me with her prized possession
    … an art deco fold away
    cocktail table, complete with
    a dozen crystal glasses,
    an ice bucket and shaker,
    that she’d brought back from New York.
    After reading your post 📪,
    Van Helsing, I remembered
    an engraved message on
    the solid silver cockrail shaker;
    “To my dearest Dorothy,
    Let us shake the night away
    ~ Love 💘 Leon”

    I now suspect that Trotsky
    was also my Auntie Dorothy’s
    favourite Bolshie.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Maybe your great aunt Dorothy is now a vampiress, David. 😀

      • David Redpath said,

        She did seem to fit in
        very well to the Big Apple
        lifestyle 🍎, for a an genteel
        young lady from a very Prodestant 1940’s Australia.
        Perhaps too well?
        When a bit merry, at Christmas
        get together one year, she
        was New York reminiscing,
        and kept saying the words,
        “Love at first bite” ?
        I thought she was just having
        a problem articulating with
        her false teeth ?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  2. David Redpath said,

    A ‘cockrail’ shaker is when
    the barman keeps the
    cocktails coming, like a train.
    In case you were wondering,
    Van Helsing.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That’s a relief to know, David. 😂

      I thought for a moment that a “cockrail shaker” was some sort of safety device invented by Stormy Daniels (the Hedy Lamarr of the porno industry- Hedy Lamarr herself having invented the early prototypes for what became Bluetooth and Wi-Fi) by which she was able to help a certain individual masturbate without having to touch this individual’s actual penis.

      The porno “cockrail shaker” was only used by Ms. Daniels once for an amateur porno film for which she was paid $130,000 by a lawyer (who just plead guilty in an upcoming plea bargain) to have all copies of this particular amateur porno film destroyed.

      • David Redpath said,

        A cockroach trail of
        cockrail shakers leading
        to jail for lying lawyers,
        and campaign directors,
        or a Presidential pardon.
        Who ever comes clean first,
        the Strumpet or the President,
        blowing his own trumpet 🎺.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The last horn shall sound
        Apocalypse shall abound
        Zombies shall rise
        with lawyer lies
        and Viagra laced flies.

      • David Redpath said,

        Chris, I thought
        a Hedy Lamarr
        was french for . . .
        something else !?

  3. David Redpath said,

    There is a new breed of Zombies,
    in the Swamp filling pipeline.
    Faster, hungrier, slightly more
    sentient, and better dressed.
    Able to ask directions to the
    closest shopping mall, and
    then maul your face off.

  4. Hyperion said,

    Great gobs of GOO! This sounds serious. Miss Q is definitely a follower of Pauline Réage’s Story of O. Van Helsing should go easy on her or else San Francisco may find Atlantis before anyone else.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      And newspaper headlines will read


      • Hyperion said,

        The horrified public will find out in the tabloids that the falling statue of the grits blowing Zeus fatally penetrated her with his stone male organ which was properly proportioned for the 30 foot statue. She had just bent over to tighten the straps on her pink open toed stilletos when WOWZER, she was taken from behind.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And she would have died bending over in solidarity with the members of the LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 community.

      • Hyperion said,

        It would be the way she would want it. Most of her beastiality movies from the 1820’s were no longer available except in private collections so I imagine it was for a microsecond, a familiar scene from the dark corners of her distant memory.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I understand it was accidentally viewing one of those 1820s Pelosi beastiality movies shown by a soon to be fired mansion servant demonstrating an early English magic lantern projector in one of those genteel drawing rooms in a genteel southern mansion that caused Andrew Jackson’s wife to take up cigar smoking.

      • Hyperion said,

        LMAO!! 😆. Yes, Andrew Jackson’s wife was a firm believer in the remedies of the era of which cigar smoking was said to endow the smoker with the ability to stomach almost anything. I read where she was a chain smoker and all the donkeys on the farm were sold.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Cigars bought.

        And donkeys sold.

        An interesting exchange. 🤣

      • Hyperion said,

        Madame Jackson knew when to fold em and cash in the chips.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s very sound advice.

        It makes for great lyrics in a Kenny Rogers song as well. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        That or an underground porn video on 8mm film for those people who still watch 19th century reality shows in the smoking parlor of their Antebellum homes.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Have you taken many photos of those great Antebellum homes on your travels, Daniel?

        Many of them were quite pretty.

        Sadly of course there aren’t any left in Atlanta, George thanks to Gen. Sherman’s scathingly bad reviews of their architectural style.

      • Hyperion said,

        Oh yes, it’s one of my favorite architectures. I lived in one built by the city founder of Meridian Mississippi in 1841. It had four stories and over 10,000 square feet of living space. Every bedroom had a fireplace. My bedroom was large enough for me and my friends to play half court basket ball in. The home is still standing and was remodeled although when it was remodeled they removed the tile roof and front porch grand stairway. Sherman had a go at it too and burned down the exterior kitchen but the house was brick, marble, tile, and stone so it didn’t burn well. My father bought it from descendants of the original family. We were only the second owners in 125 years back in 1966. Many good memories there but it was a terrible neighborhood at the time and so my dad had to sell after a few years and skedaddle to a less crime ridden area of Mississippi. Meridian is now a slum like most cities and the nice areas are all in the suburbs. But at least the house is still occupied and standing strong after 177 years.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


        That’s really a great historical story.

        Shame that area became slums.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes it is. I have a friend that still lives there, I’ve known since 1963 and his daughter who was a beautiful and sweet young lady was murdered by druggies who lived down the street and had been watching the house. They decided it would be nore fun to rape and murder her than break in and steal the TV. Yet, he won’t leave there because he has lived thete all his life and wants to be buried beside his daughter, parents, grand parents, and great grand parents. I thought he could move out a little but he wants to hold onto the house he was raised in. Very sad but in a way, he is dedicated to the city he grew up in.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Sounds like he could use Renfield to pay a visit to his druggie neighbours and give them a real life play-by-play actual physical re-enactment of what he did to the Disciples of Santa Muerte.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes it would be helpful and the captive citizens would be forever grateful. It could be the beginning of a call for Renfield to become World Emperor and usher in an era of hot tub deplomacy.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        A lot of people would be signing up to join the diplomatic corps. in that era.

      • Hyperion said,

        A lot of military age males found Canada a great place to live.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        When they weren’t claiming they had flat feet or tennis elbow or whatever it was that a certain spoiled brat son of a New York real estate tycoon was claiming to avoid military service.

      • Hyperion said,

        I liked the Credeence Clearwater Revival’s song, Fortunate One. Kit has the refrain, I’m not the fortunate one, I’m not the Senator’s son. There weren’t many rich kids in vietnam.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed there weren’t.

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