Cthulhu Threatens Vengeance On America For Sacred Riana Being Voted Off AGT: A Horror Poem

August 22, 2018 at 10:39 pm (Avatar Speaks, Celebrities, Entertainment, Folklore, Ghost Story, Horror, Humour, International Intrigue, Literature, love, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, Television, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theatre Arts, TV Shows) (, , , , , , , )

Cthulhu Threatens Vengeance On America For Sacred Riana Being Voted Off AGT: A Horror Poem

It was the city proud to be oh so happy and gay
not so the creature now dwelling in the Bay
San Francisco felt a shaking
and it wasn’t earthquaking
It was Cthulhu as mad as Hell
but not at Mel B. or Simon Cowell
Howie Mandel was likewise all right
but Heidi Klum got a fright in the night
A tentacle 🐙 grabbed her leg
and it wasn’t Trump taken down a peg

For Cthulhu was in love with the Sacred Riana
like King King showing Fay Wray his big banana
He was expecting his favourite magician to go all the way
not burnt to ashes like a voodoo doll on a hot summer day

For America had voted Riana out
as Heidi complained of leg pain worse than gout
And now America would pay a very high price
and it wouldn’t be tariffs on chicken fried rice 🍚

A creature from the Lovecraftian Mythos
was with the land of the free extremely cross
No need to worry about Putin, Iran or Kim
For America, Cthulhu now has it in
It will drown in blood
like a raging flood
Fake news or not
but tentacles 🦑 of death shall hit the spot
and of making the land great again, it shall all come to not.

-A comic horror poem
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 22nd

The Sacred Riana is Cthulhu’s queen
She ascended a fiery wall before commercial break scene
She was crawling up to be crowned the Queen of Hell
from the Beast like creature who at the bottom of the sea 🌊 does dwell


  1. George F. said,

    That was fricken weird!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      You need to have read this previous chapter first to get the background:


      Plus watch the videos.

      The Sacred Riana is an amazing Indonesian magician, mentalist and illusionist who has adopted as her stage persona certain female characters from J-horror films (Japanese horror films with their unique genre characters of vengeful female ghosts called onryo and yurei).

      Cthulhu (an Old Dark God introduced in early 20th Century American horror writer H.P. Lovecraft’s tales of terror) has fallen in love with the Sacred Riana as related in the story in the link shared above there.

      The Sacred Riana won the 2017 Asia’s Got Talent competition last year namely because Asian audiences are a lot more intelligent than American audiences.

      Now with the wrath of Cthulhu upon them, America is about to pay the price for its stupidity.

      Which will hurt American voters first?

      Voting the Sacred Riana off America’s Got Talent?

      Or electing Donald Trump Prez?

      Of course left-wing liberal news outlets like the New York Times, The Washington Post and CNN can’t bring themselves to admit that America’s dumbed down education system (influenced by the outrageously stupid ideas of University of Chicago Philosopher of Education John Dewey) has produced a generation of dumbed down imbeciles capable of electing Donald Trump as their leader on their own.

      No, Russian hackers have to be blamed for this mistake.

      “The Russians made us do it!” They whine and snivel.

      And now Russia will probably be blamed for the Sacred Riana being booted off America’s Got Talent as well.

      But Cthulhu (who despite all his demonic cosmic faults at least was never subjected to the idiocies of a John Dewey planned educational curriculum like the American people have been for the past 70 years) will not be fooled.

      And the American people must now stand and face the hounds of Hell
      and rot inside a corpse’s shell.

      As Vincent Price might put it while narrating part of a hit Michael Jackson song.

  2. George F. said,

    ,,,but comical poem!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      There is method to my madness as hopefully will be explained in the explaination offered above there.

  3. David Redpath said,

    Van Helsing, I could not agree
    more with Cthulhu’s outrage.
    Sacred Riana was exactly
    what that show needs. Some Performance ART, with a touch of magic!
    But shouldn’t Cthulhu
    have gone for Tyra Banks,
    the host, since she is
    actually an American?
    Poor Heidi Klum is German.
    Simon Cowell & Mel B.
    (who clearly soiled herself)
    are both English. And
    Howard Mandel is Canadian.
    It’s about time to stop ✋
    putting all the blame and
    retribution on the Germans.
    And I’m sure some Canadian
    votes went into the final count !?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Cthulhu did not get mad at Simon Cowell, Mel B. or Howie Mandel because they all gave Riana positive reviews and hoped to see her in the final.

      Heidi Klum was the only one who gave Riana a negative review.

      Hence why she felt the touch of Cthulhu on her leg.

      Some Canadians like Americans probably did vote Riana off.

      The reason I gave in my answer to George F. above there.

      All influenced by John Dewey’s ideas of education in the English-speaking North American school systems for the past 70 years.

      • David Redpath said,

        Fair enuff, Chris.
        Cthulhu may feast upon
        Heidi the Glum.
        I didn’t take the time to read
        the previous commentaries.
        I’m rolling on a cracked
        android with a flat battery.
        Humble apologies.
        I should’ve known without
        question that the judgement
        of Cthulhu is beyond reproach.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      The 9 minute Indonesian TV version shows the judges’ commentaries:

      Hence why Cthulhu got mad at Heidi and not the 3 other judges.

  4. Apple Rae said,

    This one’s terribly sick and scary!!!! Plus, the poem was beautifully penned!

  5. Hyperion said,

    I think you hit on an important fact regarding America’s dumbing down. Who in the Hell invited a German female to America to judge Asian horror talent in America? Everyone knows that even the German government thinks their women are only good for radical immigrants to rape. I suspect Pootin’s agents of world domination enfluenced Schmerkel’s Aryan Wunder Kind genes using bovine butt gas whereby the Chancelor set up the deal for an AGT judges seat with an Oh’Bummer New World Order Hollywood worshipper of Hermaphrodite. Truly a conspiracy of epic proportions. But, I’m sure this will all blow over as Cthulhu’s revenge will hardly be noticed in the midst of all the noise created by leftwing fake news reports of Russian dominatrixes being paid millions of taxpayer dollars to spank the GOO and his cult followers and not tell anyone until the exclusive movie rights are signed. All that aside, this was a great poem with some wonderfully dark overtones.

  6. velvetscreams said,

    😓now this is one is scary but i love the progress. Lovely poem👏

  7. nightmaresunleashed said,

    Great poem but I don’t really think Cthulhu would be someone who would care about a talent show and falling in love with a human is something that would never happen, it would be like us falling in love with an amoeba :P.

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