Baphomet News Network

September 21, 2018 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Baphomet News Network

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was picking up a news broadcast from Hell- the Baphomet News Network.

Baphomet News Announcer:

Apostle of the Antichrist Father James J. Martin SJ who was appointed to the Vatican’s Secretariat For Communications last year by Apostle of the Antichrist Pope Francis has been nominated for this year’s Baphomet Apostolic Evangelization Prize.

The winner will be announced on Halloween 🎃 and the award will be presented on the River Styx on November 11th- the 100th anniversary of the end of the First World War.

In other news, the Antichrist Cardinal Archbishop of Chicago Blaise Cupich has likewise been nominated for this year’s Baphomet Apostolic Evangelization Prize for saying that sexual molestation of children by priests is not as important an issue as “proper recycling to help the environment”.

Of course pedophile priest Father Richard McGrath, who suddenly retired last December as administrator of a Catholic High School in New Lennox, Illinois after naked pictures of boys was found on his cell phone, was granted permission by Antichrist Chicago Archbishop Cardinal Blaise Cupich to retire to a monastery in Chicago which was just steps away from Saint Thomas The Apostle Grade School.

No word yet on how Father McGrath’s penance is coming along.

Meanwhile it turns out that Archbishop Richard McCarrick who had to resign as a Cardinal for his protection of pedophile priests (his resignation brought personal heartbreak to Pope Francis) was instrumental in negotiating a breakthrough on the state of the Catholic Church in China 🇨🇳 with the Beijing Government of Chinese President Xi Jinping (who is probably the biggest satanic megalomaniac to govern China 🇨🇳 since the late Chairman Mao Tse-tung).

The agreement is a total sellout and surrender to the Christ hating totalitarian regime in Beijing who will now be the ones responsible for appointing all bishops for the Catholic Church in China 🇨🇳.

Pope Francis is said to be as pleased as punch about the upcoming agreement.

Back in February 2016, Archbishop McCarrick told The Global Times in an exclusive interview that “the similarities between Pope Francis and Xi Jinping are a special gift for the world.”

As such, Archbishop McCarrick is also nominated for this year’s Baphomet Apostolic Evangelization Prize.

Archbishop McCarrick also enjoyed cordial relations with Bishop Aloysius Jin of Shanghai a Marxist Jesuit priest.

California Rep. Nancy Pelosi served as go-between for the two men back in 2009.”

Michelangelo’s vision of the Baphomet News Network broadcast ended and the same vision that the Apostle John had on the Isle of Patmos about the woman known as Mystery Babylon suddenly appeared to him.

Meanwhile in the Vatican, Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal walked into Pope Francis’ bedroom wearing a blazing red scarlet evening dress and carrying a golden chalice overflowing with red liquid.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 21st


  1. Orvillewrong said,

    I often wonder how many faces the church has!

  2. Resa said,

    Sigh! I worked on a movie about pedophile priests. It was for Showtime. It was called Our Fathers. It is based in the true story of Cardinal Law, who hid the pedophiles. It was a huge eye opener. It never seems to end.

  3. David Redpath said,

    “I resemble that President Xi Jinping comment !”
    ~ the ghost of Mao Tse-tung

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Do you mean resemble or resent that Xi Jinping statement, oh ghost of Mao Tse-tung?

      • David Redpath said,

        “I no dissemble …. But first,
        Mr. Dracul Confucius, answer
        me this, can a declawed cat
        still catch mice?”
        ~ The most inscrutable ghost
        of Mao Tse-tung.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Well, I could declaw a cat to find out, most inscrutable Mao, but I’d probably find myself in trouble with the animal rights people to say nothing of my own conscience.

        You might want to look up the word Conscience in the dictionary since something you and Hitler and Stalin and Pol Pot have in common is no conscience.

        So you might be unfamiliar with the term.

      • David Redpath said,

        “The collective conscience
        is my thing.
        My of masterpiece of social
        engineering was Cultural
        Revolution. Still being replicated
        today across the politically
        correct West.”
        ~ Chairman Meow to you

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I’d have to agree totally that your Cultural Revolution is being replicated across the politically correct West. 💀

  4. David Redpath said,

    I hear the Comrade Ho
    of Abomination has already
    nominated herself as
    ‘Arch Nemesis’ Bishop of Beijing!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: