From Russia With… ?

October 9, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

From Russia With… ?

Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi) had been sent from Russia With Love 💕 to James Bond 007 (Sean Connery) in 1963.

55 years later, Vladimir Putin would be delivering a message to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu using the Russian vampiress FSB Agent Svetlana Kireeva as courier.

“Well, Svetlana,” Putin addressed the short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose wearing vampiress while holding a Cossack warrior’s fur hat on his lap to cover up his erection, “the message you deliver to Netanyahu will be the most earthshaking any leader has received since the Austro-Hungarian Empire delivered an ultimatum to the Kingdom of Serbia back in the early summer of 1914.”

“This means war then?” Svetlana had an orgasm in her panties as she thought of all that delicious blood flowing on the battlefield.

“Not if Netanyahu accepts our terms,” Putin answered, “there won’t be war in the Middle East at any rate.”

“But there may be war at Kiev?” Svetlana asked.

“Yes if Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko insists on taking Church property away from the legitimate Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Moscow Patriarchate) and giving it to the Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Kiev Patriarchate) that was recently and illegally recognized as autocephalous by the schismatic Patriarch of Constantinople Bartholomew I who is undoubtedly a CIA agent in the pay of the Hillarybeast loving Democratic Party Deep State in the U.S. government, Kiev will be overrun with Russian Army paratroopers,” Putin plucked the strings on his violin 🎻.

“And what of Patriarch Bartholomew?” Svetlana asked.

“I intend to employ quite literal Byzantine intrigue in Bartholomew’s case,” Putin smiled like Anthony Perkins looking at a woman in the shower 🚿, “as you know it was the practice in Byzantine times to get rid of annoying Emperors and Patriarchs by poisoning their Communion wine at Mass which is probably why the Western Roman Church for centuries only allowed for Communion in one kind that being the bread (something regarded as outrageous to the 16th Century Protestant Reformers who had little understanding of Byzantine Imperial history). I shall revive this ancient Byzantine practice by arranging for Bartholomew’s Communion wine to be poisoned 🤢 when he says Mass sometime in the near future. This will give British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill something else to be angry about as they plot my own demise.”

“Won’t the U. S. respond angrily if we send Russian troops into Jerusalem and/or Kiev?” Svetlana asked as she orgasmed at the thought of eating a cream cheesed smothered bagel in Jerusalem.

“They will,” Putin admitted as he orgasmed under his Cossack hat as he watched Svetlana orgasm through her panties and pantyhose, “but U.S. foreign policy is now in disarray as a result of the only one who has a true understanding of global affairs in the entire Trump Administration U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley resigning. The Donald’s mind will be preoccupied these days as he tries to think up Tweets to come up with to explain the sudden departure of one of his sole competent officials from his Administration. When he finally does come up with an appropriate tweet in response, we in Moscow will already have taken control of western Ukraine 🇺🇦 including Kiev and Israel 🇮🇱 including Jerusalem.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 9th


  1. ortensia said,

    I loved it but I admit it was hard to keep reading in between the laugh after picturing Putin’s Cossack hat 😂🙄😂

  2. velvetscreams said,

    Wow…very funny but also intellectual piece 💖💖

  3. David Redpath said,

    I knew it!
    Putin is secretly
    a White Russian.

  4. Hyperion said,

    I suspect those meetings between Czar Pootin and The GOO were recently discussing how the GOO could get an extra small Cossack fur hat for his meetings with Ambassador Haley. That’s probably why she resigned, she was hoping for a bigger hat to wear with her blue dress.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I think 🤔 you’ve hit the nail on the head, Daniel.

      Ambassador Haley likes a man who walks softly and carries a big hat.

      • Hyperion said,

        😁🎩🍆. I do believe a new meaning has been added to Hat Trick.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that’s not a rabbit 🐇 that’s coming out of that hat 🎩. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! It’s Mr. Happy.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Happy days are here again
        everyone enjoys getting laid again
        Happy days are here again… 🎶 🎵

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaaa haaaa haaaa! The correct melody to sing this stanza by instanly was availble for playback in my warped and delightfully eccentric mind.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the song that became the theme song for Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s Presidential campaign is indeed quite catchy.

      • Hyperion said,

        I’ll be humming it at work now. 🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That should be very interesting.

        Particularly if you accidentally start singing the lyrics out loud. 😂

        Your female co-workers will either be making you an offer or tweeting your name to the Black List of the #MeToo Movement. 🤣

      • Hyperion said,

        Knowing the ladies at work there will be a fair mix of lynching and floggings.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And not the pleasurable ones administered by beautiful leather skirted dominatrixes like Sherrielock Holmes.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes indeedy and when they scream, “me too!”, it will be my turn to try the Dominus Role with a yew pole of such whipping power as never a progressive socialist liberal vampiress bootie felt before. 😈

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes it’s best to beat progressive neo-Marxist socialist liberalism starting at the bottom rather than the top.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaaaa haaaa haaaaa! Nothing a good spank won’t cure.

  5. said,

    Fabulous Christopher.

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