Renfield: Now Is The Time To Destroy The Despotic Desert Kingdom of Saudi Arabia

October 15, 2018 at 10:55 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Poetry, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield: Now Is The Time To Destroy The Despotic Desert Kingdom of Saudi Arabia

British MP Renfield R. Renfield sat watching the television in his parliamentary office.

The woman Australian TV news reporter he was watching was positively bubbling over with glee, “Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry are both having a baby. Isn’t that amazing?”.

“It is amazing,” Renfield had to admit, “I didn’t know men could get pregnant.”

He shut off the TV when the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill and Orson Welles joined him for cigars and brandy.

Sir Winston Churchill was helping Renfield in planning to depose the tyrannical and fanatical House of Saud from its governance over most of the vast oil rich Arabian Peninsula.

And Orson Welles was listening in because he got the exclusive rights to write the screenplay for the fall of the House of Saud.

Welles had planned for the screenplay to read like a combination of the writing of Edgar Allan Poe in The Fall of The House of Usher (1839) and Nathaniel Hawthorne in The House of The Seven Gables (1851) and the movie would look like it was made by a combination of directors Woody Allen and Roman Polanski in the film and visual techniques.

If anyone could pull that off, it would indeed be the ghost of Orson Welles.

“Well,” Churchill lit a spectral cigar with a spectral match, “I see Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s idiot successor in the Oval Office is saying the murder of dissident Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi may have been committed by rogue elements in the Saudi government’s secret service.”

“This shows the hazards of sniffing elementary school kid’s glue while using it as a shampoo to wash the dandruff out of your yellowish gold urine coloured toupee,” Renfield noted.

“Indeed,” Welles nodded in agreement, “I noticed Bozo Trump said that Saudi King Salman said he had no knowledge whatsoever of Jamal Khashoggi’s murder.”

“Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he?” The ghost of a young beautiful looking famous British call girl Christine Keeler remarked as she walked by wearing a 1960s era mini skirt.

All three men’s eyes followed her as she disappeared into a portrait painting of John Profumo who was Secretary of State For War in Prime Minister Harold Macmillan’s Conservative Government of the early 1960s.

“Well,” Churchill was the first one of the three to recover from seeing the ghostly apparition, “I see that the Saudi government after first vigorously denying having murdered Mr. Khashoggi is now admitting they may have accidentally murdered him.”

“I wonder whether they accidentally dismembered his body as well,” Renfield remarked as he watched a British farmer fertilizing his field with a dancing diarrhea ridden bull in a YouTube video.

“Undoubtedly,” Churchill blew smoke.

“This is where I can work some Woody Allen style humour into the dialogue,” Welles smiled.

The ghost of Theban king Oedipus’ wife/ mother Jocasta walked by remarking, “I wonder what name they call my son in graffiti on the walls in New York’s Harlem.”

“I don’t think that line can be worked into this script,” Welles confessed.

Jocasta exited Renfield’s office and walked down the parliamentary halls looking for a portrait painting of Sigmund Freud.

Finally Renfield stood up and striking his best Churchillian pose remarked,

“The time has come, the shapeshifting hamster/human MP said, to talk of many things,
of steamy sex with porn stars and ridding the world of despotic Saudi kings.”

The ghosts of Churchill and Welles applauded in agreement.

Finally Welles raised his spectral glass of brandy in a toast and asked,

“When shall we three meet again,
Over wine, brandy, coffee or tea?”

Christine Keeler’s mini skirted ghost appeared and said, “Why not over me?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 15th

Ghost of Theban Queen Jocasta holding her son’s skull 💀 and remarking to the ghost of one of Prince Hamlet’s friends down in Purgatory:

“Alas, poor Oedipus, I knew him well, Horatio.”


  1. David Redpath said,

    The Bard himself would be
    greatly impressed with the
    conspiratorial intrigue of this dramatic piece, Chris.
    I suggest once the despot
    and his brood are overthrown
    the Arab Penninsula be used
    to resettle the refugees from
    Yemen and Syria. The Saudis
    certainly can afford it.
    Till now all the oil rich Arab
    states have been happy for
    the fleeing survivors to be
    resettled anywhere (the West)
    but in there backyard, at
    someone else’s expense, despite ‘Alms for the poor’
    being a prime tenant of Islam.
    Considering the Bush family’s
    love affair with the Saudi royal
    family, I’m afraid Renfield’s noble
    enterprise could meet some
    CIA opposition?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, David.

      And that’s an excellent suggestion about having Syrian and Yemeni refugees settle in Saudi Arabia.

      Perhaps rule of the Arabian Peninsula can be given to King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan since they seem to be the most enlightened Arab rulers in the Middle East.

      After all King Abdullah has a claim to it being descended from the original Emir Abdullah of Mecca who was driven out of his Emirate territory by the House of Saud.

      The territory would be restored to its rightful and legitimate rulers.

      And you’re right about CIA opposition because of the Bush-Saudi connection.

      Renfield will have to move quickly in one massive Welsh Gurkha Brigade British Army commando like kidnapping operation seizing members of both the Saudi Royal Family and the Bush Family and bring them before the International Criminal Court in the Hague to face charges of Crimes Against Humanity.

      If some YouTube conspiracy theorists are to be believed and Barbara Bush’s father was in fact Aleister Crowley and not Barbara’s mother’s husband, then Barbara Bush’s ghost can bitch about it to daddy Crowley’s ghost as they roast away in the flames of Tartarus until daddy Crowley’s ghost is released through the power of Pope Francis’s Witch’s Stang representing the Horned God.

      • David Redpath said,

        The Crowley-Bush connection,
        both horrifying, and intriguing.
        I thought perhaps the Ghost
        of Emperor Haile Selassie of
        Ethiopia could be called upon
        to rule the Arab Penninsula, as perhaps a neutral
        player. The Sunnis and Shiites
        could then have a ceasefire,
        enforced by a Rastafarian peace
        keeping force from Jamaica.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That is an excellent idea, David.

        Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will be visiting the Arabian Peninsula quite a bit to participate in religious ceremonies with the Rastafarian peace keepers.

  2. David Redpath said,

    My spellcheck also conspires;
    Zakāt: Charity, is the third
    ‘tenet’ of Sunni Islam.
    The only ‘tenants’ of the Saudi
    state would be the underpaid
    Asian workers there to build
    their soccer stadiums ⚽
    and luxury mansions.
    Perhaps the problem is that
    most of the refugees are Persian,
    and Shiite.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes and all the poor Philippina nannies who are forced to work as sex slaves to wealthy Saudi princes.

  3. Silent Hour said,

    I didn’t know men could get pregnant either! Of course, he is a prince, not just any man. He probably can also turn himself to frog and do the frogmarch.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I imagine Prince Harry could probably do that. 😅

      • Silent Hour said,

        I just have one question: why on earth would Jocasta look for Freud?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Because Sigmund Freud was the psychoanalyst who coined the term “Oedipus complex” in which supposedly all small boys love their mothers and fantasize about killing their fathers and then making love to their mothers.

        I know I never had such fantasies as a kid and most men I talked to didn’t either.

        As my Classics professor who taught the course in Classical Myth and Religion that I took back in University said, “This statement tells us more about Freud than it does about anybody else.”

        Oedipus was of course the ancient Theban king who in Classical Greek tragedy (like in Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex) did kill his father and marry his mother.

        In Oedipus’ defence of course, he had no idea they were his father and mother because he had been left abandoned on a hilltop as a baby.

        Since Jocasta was of course Oedipus’ mother/wife, that’s why she’s gone looking for Sigmund Freud because with all his talk of the “Oedipus complex”, she no doubt figures he must have a thing for older matronly looking women.

      • Silent Hour said,

        Ha ha! I expected something like ‘I don’t know what made me write that’!

        Loved your professor’s comment.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Dr. Gordon Wilson.

        His specialty was Imperial Roman History.

        I also took a course from him in 1st Century AD Imperial Roman History which of course covered the Lives of the Twelve Caesars and their decadent perverted life styles.

        It made for real riveting lectures.

        I remember before the class where he discussed Freud’s and Jung’s theories of classical mythology, he ended the previous class lecture before that saying, “Next class, we’ll be discussing the theories of Sigmund Fraud and Carl Junk.”

      • Silent Hour said,

        Is this what we call high regard?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Definitely. 😆

  4. David Redpath said,

    With Prince Harry throwing to the
    Spencer redhead genetic line,
    I’m sure there are more royal
    mutations in the works.

  5. Hyperion said,

    I spent some time wandering around in the Magic Kingdom. The young nubile nannies that live there in modern bonded slavery to the house of de Saud would melt Pan Goatee’s heart with their long suffering sensuality. The GOO will set things straight with his global astral twittering. No one will remember Stormy Daniels after the GOO and his minions establish a bridgehead to the unholy land of Arabian nights. Soon, the buttocks of every camel will be bald and the Goo’s coiffure will reign supreme. This prophecy is brought to you by Sherrielocks magic kingdom mushrooms. A little dab’l do ya.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      It sounds like a prophecy from Sherrielock’s magic mushrooms all right. 😂

      Tomorrow hundreds of thousands of Canadians will be seeing prophecies and visions and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will no longer (with the help of his genetically created pot smoking desert cactus plant called Strawberry Fields Forever) be the only Canadian who’s able to visualize the ET Gray from planet Nibiru called Gali-Gula who’s possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula.

      Tomorrow recreational cannabis can be legally sold in Canada. 😱

      • Hyperion said,

        Canada will fill up with hippies and homeless people that enjoy pooping on the sidewalks and landscaping of the rich and famous. Their collective hallucinations of giggling ecstasy and publuc fornication will be the final victory of the satanic Pope as it will call the forces of Ragnorak into being. The world is predicted to be destroyed by fire but that is only the millions of matches burning to light the joints of mary-ja-hoochie. Hallucagenic smog will become a sentient being whispering in the ear pf every citizen. Naturally, the entire socialist progressive liberal population of America will emigrate to Canada creating a massive housing shortage and collapsing the social welfare system. True-dope will try to build a wall to prevent Americans from entering Canada to save the few surviving indigenous folk left, but The GOO will tweet him down and America will become great again because all the phuque-tards have left to go smoke and poop on True-dopes lawn. That is my vision and prophecy of the near future.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think your prophecy of the future is 100% right on, Daniel.

        Because last night, I was thinking that True-dope’s (an excellent name for him by the way. I shall be calling him Justin True-dope from now on and his father Pierre Elliot True-dope)’s pot legalization will of course benefit Trump because all those people who are inclined to vote for the Democratic Party (all the pot heads and users of other hallucinogenic drugs) will be moving to Canada since they can’t all fit into California, Washington state and Colorado.

        It’s interesting I heard on the news I think it’s today that the state of Colorado (which is a state heavily inclined to vote Democratic) is voting in a plebiscite to officially drop Slavery from the state constitution.

        And I’m going WTF?

        And yet most Democrats and their Antifa supporters (Antifa is of course the 21st Century Democratic Party hooligan element equivalent of Hitler’s Nazi Party 1920s and 1930s hooligan Brown Shirts- interestingly enough both movements being made up of tough macho butch style homosexuals) object to Robert E. Lee a man who was personally opposed to slavery, wanted to stay in the Union and only fought for the Confederacy because his beloved northern Virginia had voted to secede from the Union and Lee had actually freed his own slaves long before Union Army Commander General Ulysses S. Grant ever did.

        People always seem to forget that when Lincoln released his Emancipation proclamation, he only freed the slaves in the Confederate states not those states who had stayed in the Union when the Civil War broke out.

        But since most neo-Marxist inclined liberal progressive Democrats don’t know a damned thing about History (which is why Orson Welles was so unpopular with most of the Hollywood crowd because even though he was a Democrat he knew and loved history and he was a classsical FDR New Deal Democrat and not a classical Marxist of the Alger Hiss variety) and neither do Antifa who are too busy sodomizing one another when they aren’t practicing their BDSM fighting techniques on their Neo-Nazi hooligan opponents to bother studying History.

  6. Hyperion said,

    You know more American history than 90% of Americans because most of them accept wild conjecture and purposeful lies rather than accept the truth unabridged. The truth wouldn’t support their ideology or their political agenda.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That’s very true, Daniel.

      The truth is the opposite of ideology and political agendas.

      Very well put (as opposed to Very well pot like in Trudopian Canada). 😆

      • Hyperion said,

        It is that moment in history the survivors will look back on as the Trudopian era, a fog of pungent smoke fell upon the people and corporations that sold junk food to sate the irrepressible munchies of the masses will rise as omnipotent religions of capitalism. Praise the corn chips and pass the chocolate malt vodka please.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        In the past two days, the out of the way food court where I’m able to buy an inexpensive fairly decent lunch has been the most crowded I’ve ever seen it.

        And full of a bunch of asshole looking people.

        But that explains it,

        They’re pot heads with the munchies.

      • Hyperion said,

        The inundation has begun. Most of them will be liberal socialists that reserve the right to defecate on sidewalks of their choosing. Seeing as how pooping is a natural biological function necessary for the well being of liberal socialists, then pooping where they choose is an inalienable right. Toilet paper is optional. So hit the food court then hit the sidewalk will be the order of the day.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I fear you’re 100% right.

        If I only had the money to move to a nice quiet chalet in Bavaria.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think if you publish 8 more vampire novels and one GOO geopolitical satire you can afford two chalets. 😎

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I certainly hope so, Daniel. 😃

      • Hyperion said,

        It’s worth a try. 😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I’d be so close to the Munich Oktoberfest where all those lovely young German frauleins in their low-cut dresses and packing nice jugs would be bringing me other types of jugs- jugs of beer. 😆

      • Hyperion said,

        I actually participated in the revelry of Octoberfest in Munich and I will say that your plans are solid and worth any challenge to make them come true. A very worthy endeavor indeed my friend.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        To paraphrase that old rabbinic exprsssion, “Next year in Munich.” 😆

      • Hyperion said,

        Save your change, there’s beer and pretzels to be had. 😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And many a nice knocker to be grabbed.

        Thus ending my chances of being named to any nation’s Supreme Court.

      • Hyperion said,

        A worthy sacrifice for hedonistic delight, is to grab for the gusto busto from morning till night and let ole GOO fight for the Court’s next sticky fingered Knight.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And let it never be forgot
        that once there was a (g) spot
        that was known as Camelot.

      • Hyperion said,

        And Guinevere sat upon this hidden spot
        And found herself Lanced alot.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTLMFAO ! 😂

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