Wilkie The Cat As The Shadow: A Poem
Wilkie considered himself the Big Apple’s NYC leading thespian
When he told people what he did, they thought he said lesbian
but thespian was the Shakespearean term for actor
not a bull dyke riding one Hell of a tractor
Now Wilkie was a feline by species
one whose litter box was full of feces
Wilkie naturally thought of himself as a cool cat
when he played James Cagney saying, “You dirty rat.”
Now the lovely French cat Mitzi was the love of his life
he longed to make la belle mademoiselle his beloved wife
but the Parisienne Pussy (so called by President Macron) wanted no such strife
for her current single state now was such a delightful life
Now it came to pass that a big Broadway producer
when he encountered a #MeToo woman, he did goose her
now he was in disgraced exile
Alyssa Milano’s Wiccan spells cast on him by the pile
only Bret Kavanaugh’s pile of hexes was much longer
as Hillary made a voodoo doll of Bill and his donger
Now it so happened that Wilkie had several incriminating photos
of the producer seducing starlets in one of his chateaux
so Wilkie blackmailed the producer from Park Avenue
who forced gruesome things on the young nubile Frou Frou La Rue
and made him finance Wilkie’s new play
a heavy price the theatrical big wig had to pay
for wanting to engage in getting a lay
in such a very strange, awkward and peculiar way
Wilkie wanted to do a stage version of that old radio play The Shadow
that showed Man About Town Lamont Cranston always on the go
The Shadow’s object of affection was one Margo Lane
to organized crime, Lamont Cranston was a first rate pain
So once again a Wilkie directed Broadway stage play came to pass
Theatre critics went to the play expecting the feline to again make himself an ass
and Wilkie certainly did not let them down
The Broadway disaster was the talk of the town
Wilkie playing Cranston opened the play with The Shadow’s opening line,
“Who knows what…” and there was a sudden pause,
as Wilkie held to his head his feline claws
for the catty thespian had forgotten his lines
to say nothing of not paying library card fines
He was recognized by a librarian sitting in the audience
who leapt on stage like a secret agent of a Saudi Crown Prince incensed
Mitzi leapt into action with her parasol to prevent Wilkie being dismembered on the spot
and Trump’s future defense of petulant librarians was such poppycock
the aftereffects of a urine coloured toupee causing a brain to rot
The play’s opening moments were its very last
petulant librarian got a parasol up the ass
and Wilkie’s earlier pork and beans dinner produced much gas
and the pervert producer’s line of credit did not come to pass
for he committed hari kari permanently ending his tendency to harass
So now the time has come to say to one and all, Good night
as for The Shadow playing a 2nd night, theatre owner told Wilkie to go fly a kite.
-A Wilkie The Cat poem
written by Christopher
Thursday October 17th
2018.
Tanya said,
October 18, 2018 at 9:37 pm
OMG, count Dracul itβs a great political satire you created, I enjoyed so much. All heavyweight are here along with Wilkie… enjoyed! Good nyt for us, while itβs time for you to prey your victims for some crimson bloddπ§ββοΈ
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 18, 2018 at 10:06 pm
Thanks very much, Tanya. π
Tanya said,
October 19, 2018 at 5:59 pm
My esteemed pleasure Mr. Dracula!
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 19, 2018 at 6:31 pm
π
Tanya said,
October 18, 2018 at 9:38 pm
Blood sry!!
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 18, 2018 at 10:07 pm
Thanks again, Tanya. π
David Redpath said,
October 19, 2018 at 1:24 am
James Cagney would’ve shown
this ‘Johnny Come Lately’ producer
‘The Doorway to Hell’!
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 19, 2018 at 6:28 pm
Yes, Cagney would definitely show him that he’s no Yankee Doodle dandy when it comes to dealing with ‘Angels With Dirty Faces’.
velvetscreams said,
October 19, 2018 at 5:41 am
Great expression in writing
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 19, 2018 at 6:29 pm
Thanks, Velvet. π
Hyperion said,
October 19, 2018 at 8:51 am
Wonderful ballad of these discordant times. I like Wilkie, he had the courage to make himself into an ass and then gas his distractors. I think his la Belle Parisienne, Mitzi actually likes bad boy Wilkie. When a girl sticks her parasol up another felineβs bootie to protect her man, itβs a sure sign she likes him.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 19, 2018 at 6:30 pm
Yes, you’re right, Daniel.
That’s a definite sign she likes him. π
Hyperion said,
October 20, 2018 at 9:54 am
Itβs nice to be liked. π
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 20, 2018 at 4:18 pm
Indeed it is. π
Hyperion said,
October 20, 2018 at 6:06 pm
π
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 20, 2018 at 9:32 pm
π
Hyperion said,
October 21, 2018 at 5:55 am
Iβm like George. You keep me cracked up for days bro.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 21, 2018 at 6:11 pm
Glad to hear that, Daniel. π