Wilkie The Cat Performs Nat King Cole: A Poem

October 19, 2018 at 8:59 pm (Comedy, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Musicals, News, Poetry, Politics, Satire, theatre, Theatre Arts) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Wilkie The Cat
had a lovers’ spat
His girlfriend Mitzi
was raging spitzy

She had broken her parasol
saving Wilkie from a very deep hole
by red hot pokering a Saudi librarian mole
Trump defended the Saudi librarian assassin
and took to Twitter tweety bashin’

Saudi Arabia had threatened to fly planes into Canadian Toronto’s CN Tower
while Mohammad bin Salman like Putin gave Trump a golden shower
No wonder the Donald’s hairpiece was a sickening gold yellow toupee
for Putin and the Saudi Crown Prince performed like it was a rainy day
Mid-term elections were soon on the way
Was Robert Mueller making hay?
Democrats wondered
as Lizzie Warren blundered

The New York Times defended the Senator’s DNA test
because of brains and intelligence, The Times had not been blessed
It took one to hate one was that old adage
which is why Trump and The Times exchanged nasty tweets and cabbage

But fortunately for Wilkie’s relationship, he got a good gig
and an assignment that his girl Mitzi should really dig
He and she were invited to perform at a political party function
and did not have to play the part of Beverly Hillbillies at Petticoat Junction

It was at the Lincoln Performing Arts Centre
and Wilkie promised Mitzi he wouldn’t go on a bender

Mitzi dressed as Elizabeth Warren took to the stage
while politicos gazed at her like lions released from a cage
Mitzi began to sing,

Cherokee people,
Cherokee tribe,
so proud to live
so proud to die

and maybe someday when we’ve learned,
Cherokee Nation will return, will return

Wilkie The Cat came on stage dressed like Nat King Cole,
he really relished getting into this role
He pointed at Mitzi as Warren and began to sing,
“Oh yes, she’s the great pretender…”
after the show, Wilkie went on a bender.

For he got the attending crowd wrong
turning this into his Lincoln Center swan song
He thought he was performing to Republicans but alas! they were Democrats
and now Wilkie and Mitzi were once again unemployed performing arts cats.

-A Wilkie The Cat poem
written by Christopher
Friday October 19th


  1. George F. said,

    Timely, spot on satire that has me rolling in the isles…especially the golden shower part. Eeehhh!!! I, too, put up a new post tonight! Love this one!

  2. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    Thanks, George. 😃

    • George F. said,

      You can actually keep me laughing for day! You’re a reward in and of yourself! LOL!

  3. George F. said,


    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      And then there’s Donald Trump whose original performance kept Stormy Daniels laughing for nights.

  4. Hyperion said,

    Waaaa haaaa haaaa haaaaaaa! Poor Wilkie. He has it made with his dear Mitzi and yet he still manages to Tomcat the hell out of his future with her. And may the true red E. Warren seek shelter under the GOO’s toupee during the Russian rainy season. Now, I need to clean my iPad screen. Wonder if Sherrielock has any magic mushroom cleaner left? I sure go through a lot of it.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      This time I imagine your wet screen was caused by guffawing your coffee or bourbon rather than organ grinding at the thought of Elizabeth Warren. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, I will admit to snort laughing all over my screen. I think Mitzi’s parasol properly applied to the EW, would be a sucessful pay per view arena event.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And centuries from now, Mitzi’s famous parasol will be auctioned off at Christie’s Auction House under the nickname Pocahontas’ Revenge.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaaa haaaa haaaaa! Oh my, I just blew guffaw stuff all over my screen again. I’m going to have to install a windshield washer and wipers on my iPad. I’m more and more liking Wilkie and Mitzi and especially Mitzi’s parasol talents.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes if the United Star Ship Enterprise really wants to seek out strange new worlds, it will have to boldly go where Mitzi’s parasol has gone before. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        Into the Mystic to infinite and beyond as my ole friend Buzz Lightyear used to say.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Elizabeth Warren’s punishment in Tartarus is Mitzi’s parasol up her muckchute performing as an eternal motion machine while being forced to watch old news videos of Pope Francis saying there is no Hell.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaa haaaa haaaa! I had a nice visual of that. And of course, the only icewater in Hell is over at the GOO’s groto.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes with the GOO’s right hand frozen to the frozen pussy of the Norse underworld goddess Hel.

      • Hyperion said,

        And Hel’s man is steadily beating the goop out of the GOO with his warhammer. 😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And it takes a great deal of talent and skill on the part of Hel’s man to hit a thingy so small with his warhammer. 😂😅

      • Hyperion said,

        Apparently, Hel serves a lot of mince meat pie in her kitchen.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Hel’s Kitchen has quite the reputation.

        Particularly in New York City. 😅

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, I think a lot was cooked up in Hel’s kitchen in NY.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The recipe for Sodom and Gomorrah pie was originally cooked up there and then the recile spread across the country.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think that pie is an all time favorite amongst the masses.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Particularly amongst the Jesuit Masses. 😅

      • Hyperion said,

        A chaste Jesuit to his pervy brothers: Sodomites to the left of me. Sodomites to the right. And here I am, stuck in the middle of you and I don’t know what to do. I do know what not to do. My shoelaces will remain untied. Not gonna bend over on the pew to tie them shoes. “BOINK!” Arrrrrrgh!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Jesuits will even do it standing.

      • Hyperion said,

        As many an alterboy will attest.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  5. Mental.FLO' said,

    wow you got some talent forreal . love the poem

  6. David Redpath said,

    I ethnically identify
    as a cat
    so I fully relate
    to where Wilkie,
    and his piece of fluff,
    Mitzi are at 🐱.

  7. David Redpath said,

    But will Robert Mueller
    be a ferocious lion
    or a neutered pussy?

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