The Donald T-Rump Song

October 24, 2018 at 9:44 pm (Arts, Celebrities, Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Music, News, Poetry, Politics, Satire, Songs) (, , , , , , , , , )

Oh, let us drink a drink, a drink
to Donald T-Rump, T-Rump
the saviour of the human race
or so he thought in his head
for which a poor red spider monkey bled

Now Donald T-Rump thought he was Julius Caesar
because he was just that type of senile geezer
but he forgot his Roman history
it’s certainly no mystery
Julius was assassinated
dying very constipated
and Augustus took over
like a four leaf clover
while Jared Kushner returns home from Dover
to take the reigns of power
for it is the False Messianic hour.

-A song written
by Christopher
Friday October 19th
2018
to the tune of
The Irish Rovers song
Lily The Pink

32 Comments

  1. davidiclineage said,

    #OrangeManBad

    Here I thought you were at least expert class. ;^)

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Your reference to Orange Man Band reminds me of another song the Irish Rovers used to sing – The Orange and The Green whose lyrics went,

      Oh this is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen
      my father he was orange and my mother she was green…

      It was that song that I wrote my first satirical song of back when I was in Grade 8 for Miss Kimura’s language arts class.

      My own lyrics went

      Oh, this is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen
      my mother was a dyke and my father was a queen…

      While the lyrics seemed to go over very well with the rest of the students in class, they didn’t go over so well with Miss Kimura.

      Since she was wearing a short skirt and a very sexy pair of panty hose, I was hoping she’d take me over her knee and spank me.

      But no such luck.

      Not the same for Bradley Cooper (the name of a loud mouth nerd in our class and not the famous Hollywood actor) who on another occasion got taken over Miss Kimura’s knee and spanked while she was wearing a short skirt and a sexy pair of panty hose (lucky bastard!).

      As Rod Stewart used to sing, “Some guys have all the luck… some guys do nothing but complain” (that would be me complaining!).

  2. Tanya said,

    Funny but sadly true! Great job with alluring historical references!

  3. George F. said,

    Rome fell when the barbarians invaded the city. Or something like that. They marched up from Honduras and broke the great empire in two! Great song!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      And T-Rump will be having a Spanish lullaby sang to him as the Empire crumbles.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Wow, George, some guy above there has a similar icon to yours at the very top.

      So I thought it was you who made the first comment so I responded in my own natural me being me manner.

      And then I thought you made another comment below Tanya’s.

      But it turned out it was somebody else who made the first comment at the top- albeit someone with an icon very similar to yours.

      So I responded in my usual Dracul Van Helsingian fashion which my regular readers like you and Hyp are used to by now.

      But no doubt this poor fellow now thinks I’m a pervert judging by my reply .

      Of course I am a pervert but you and Hyp are used to me being a pervert by now.

      But not so the poor snook at the top who will probably never comment on my blog again.

      So if you want a good laugh lasting you for the next few days, read my reply to his comment above there.

      • George F. said,

        Hysterical! I will look into changing my icon so it doesn’t happen again. Yeah, I’d like to be spanked by her too!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I think there would be a line up of you and me and Hyp all shouting at Brad Cooper, “Hey Coop! Hurry up already. Give the rest of us a spanking chance.” πŸ˜‚

      • George F. said,

        Short, sexy new post up. Drop in!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        All right. πŸ˜ƒ

  4. David Redpath said,

    “Well, false messianic me
    … sideways!” ~ Lily the Pink

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, “doing the sidestep” as the Governor of Texas sang in the musical The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas.

      • David Redpath said,

        Trump starts with a Tee
        and that rhymes with Pee
        (incontinence has he?)
        Pee is for Putin
        with much glee
        He’ll do to you what
        he done to U.S.democracy
        Thats spells trouble
        with a T-Rump in River City

        It all

  5. Hyperion said,

    Lol! The comments are as grand as your poem! I think it’s the fact you are a delightful pervert that makes your writing and comments the highlight of my days. T-Rump has the mongol hordes at the fenceline now. I suspect Texas will soon be given to the invading hordes as a consolation prize. Unfortunately, California is their paradise and I suspect the caravan will continue west through what we shall call the Frijole Belt.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      No doubt the ghost of Sigmund Freud has now got to the bottom (as it were) of my adult fixation for Asian dominatrixes.

      It all dates back to my Grade 8 adolescent fantasies about Miss Kimura and her short skirt and sexy pantyhose and what she did to Brad Cooper- the ghost of Sigmund Freud will reckon.

      All a case of The Welts of Wrath as the Hondurans move north into California instead of the Oakies moving west into California as in Steinbeck ‘s The Grapes of Wrath.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think it a worthy goal to be spanked by an Asian dominatrix in a short skirt and silk pantyhose. In fact, you should never give up on that one.

        Perhaps Sherrylock Holmes and Panty Goatee will be waiting for the wagon train to arrive where upon the concept of discipline properly applied will set the course for an orderly retreat to the safety of the southern borders.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes and instead of singing Engelbert Humperdinck’s “You and your Spanish eyes will wait for me”, the Wagon Train will be singing “You and your Asian paddles will wait for me.”

      • Hyperion said,

        Whackity whackity whack whack, every day of the week

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        A lot of name saying going on.

      • Hyperion said,

        You really need to do a Panty Goatee chapter where she forces the GOO to say her name. Repeatedly. Between whacks. πŸ˜‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        An excellent idea. πŸ˜ƒ

      • Hyperion said,

        I look forward to my screen obliterating guffaw upon reading this chapter. 😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        πŸ˜ƒ

      • George F. said,

        The comments are as amusing as the original post! Funnier than hell!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Although Pope Francis won’t think so when he gets there.

  6. velvetscreams said,

    This is such a great post from a great mind wow!

  7. Kymber said,

    I love this. πŸ™‚ And it rings true, too.

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