Michelangelo’s Vision of 2018 U.S. Midterm Elections

November 3, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, love, Mythology, News, Politics, Romance, Science, The Supernatural, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was back in the U.K. again after a brief one day Dia de Los Muertos visit to Mexico City where he videotaped the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec ripping out the live still beating heart of a horny sexually predatory and sexually harassing Google exec (one of many who had recently inspired a spate of Google employee strikes across the world).

Renfield then posted the video on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter where it went viral across the Net.

The video was the one thing Renfield did that met with the approval of the #MeTooMovement.

After watching the video, the unlamented former Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein woke up screaming in the night about having a dream of open heart surgery being performed on him without the use of anesthetic.

Another consequence was that Texas cowboys and gunslingers stopped falling in love with Mexican girls in cantinas out in the West Texas town of El Paso much to singer Marty Robbins’ displeasure.

After the burning of the heart was done in front of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl (who because of his advanced age was starting to prefer his meat cooked well done rather than raw or rare these days), the Aztec deity (who was worshipped as Kukulkan by the Mayans) after eating the heart proceeded to sit down on a sofa with a bottle of tequila (containing inside it a worm in front of a biodegradable cardboard tombstone that had for an epitaph POE’S THE CONQUEROR WORM Conquered) in front of a television set and watched Orson Welles’ last film The Other Side of The Wind on Netflix.

Outside his Mexico City penthouse apartment, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith performed one huge storm of a whirlwind as the vampire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky) the head of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change gave a speech on climate change in the city.

Meanwhile back in Qonzilqointec’s penthouse suite on the other side of the street, the Aztec vampiress made out with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing engaging in BDSM foreplay and mystical magic tantric sex afterwards.

Renfield flew back to Britain from Mexico listening to the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour albums on his airplane headphones while eating a nice dinner of curried lamb and curried goats’ legs on Manitoba wild rice.

Back at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland, the Hindu destroyer and transformer god Shiva was trying to make a curried dinner out of hubris ridden CERN scientists who had just uncovered a “ghost particle” that was about to upset the equilibrium balance of the entire cosmos.

A result of all this was that scientist Stephen Hawking was turning over on his barbeque spit in Tartarus and very much regretting the fact that he had written THERE IS NO GOD in his last book.

His mother’s favourite expression “Famous Last Words” never rang so true as now.

As soon as Renfield R. Renfield walked through the front door of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion, his friend Amadeus Emanon informed him of a vision that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had had in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises laboratories.

“Michelangelo foresees widespread violence, shootings and stabbings at polling stations across America on U.S. mid-term election day,” Amadeus stated.

“I’m not surprised,” Renfield admitted, “I imagine in future U.S. elections, the UN will have to bring in observers from the Afghan Taliban and militant sectarian groups in Iraq to make sure that future American elections are conducted in a less violent and more peaceful manner.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 3rd


  1. George F. said,

    You’re on a roll Dracul and it’s difficult to keep pace with you. Loved so much of this hard to pick out my favorite line. The tantric sex? Sure, that gets me hot! But this line does it: “curried dinner out of hubris ridden CERN scientists…” It was the hubris ridden, so aptly described, that brings me to laughing tears!! You cover all bases, once again!

  2. David Redpath said,

    “There is no Stephen Hawking.”
    ~ A Celebrity Theologian from
    an alternate universe who thinks
    he knows all there is to know
    about physics, cosmology,
    mathematics, and origami,
    because he once looked at
    a school science book, thus
    qualifying him to lecture and
    pontificate on these, and all

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      “If there was no Stephen Hawking, it would have been necessary to invent him.”

      -Mr. Spock to Captain James T. Kirk on one of the Vulcan’s rare tequila drinking sprees.

      • David Redpath said,

        “Black Hole dead ahead, Captain!”
        ~ Pavel Chekov
        (Note; Cold war tactic to have
        a Russian give the panic alert.)

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        “Stop looking up Lt. Uhura’s skirt, you pervert.”

        -Bones McCoy to Pavel Chekov.

  3. David Redpath said,

    I resisted that temptation
    off mentioning both Lt. Uhura
    and a rampaging black hole,
    in the one conversation.
    But I underestimated your
    lack of P.C. restraint, Chris!
    I shall not make that mistake
    again, and endeavor to get in
    first. The reference, that is,
    not the black hole itself. I
    saw enough of Star Trek to
    know that black holes can
    be very dangerous. Especially
    if created in a hedron collider.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      “You’ll notice, Doctor, I did not look up Lt. Uhura’s skirt.”
      -Sulu to Bones McCoy

      “Stop looking at the bulge in Mr. Chekov’s trousers, Senior Helmsman Sulu.”
      Captain James T. Kirk to Mr. Sulu.

      • David Redpath said,

        “But I’ve set my phaser to squirt,
        Captain!” ~ Mr. Sulu

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        “Mr. Sulu, I found your remark quite takei.”
        -Captain James T. Kirk

        “By George, you’ve come up with a pun, Captain.”
        -Mr. Spock

      • David Redpath said,

        “No time for that now Mr.Spock,
        we must wipe out the Klingons
        from Uranus!” – Captain Kirk
        “Sounds like fun. Can I come too?”
        – Mr. Sulu

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL ! πŸ˜‚

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