Donald Trump’s Phone Call With Saudi Crown Prince

November 19, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Crime, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The verdict was in.

The CIA, CSIS, MI-6 and the German Federal Intelligence Service were all convinced that Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman had personally ordered the brutal and savage murder of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi,

But as Donald Trump brushed all the squirrel droppings and walnuts out of his toupee, he knew in his heart of hearts and brain of brains that he had more intelligence put together than any intelligence agency on the planet (or anyone else for that matter).

He sung to himself, “MBS killed no one, this I know, for the Saudi Crown Prince tells me so.”

He said to Lexington his valet as he dressed for bed, “I had a long phone conversation with the Saudi Crown Prince tonight, Lexington.”

“Delighted to hear it, sir,” his British butler answered.

“Lexington, do you know if we have a U.S. Consulate in Istanbul?” Trump asked.

“I believe we do, sir,” Lexington answered.

“I wonder if it would be possible for us to find a Turkish fiancee for CNN’s Jim Acosta,” Trump mused aloud.

“Good God, sir,” Lexington’s face turned ghostly white, “and just what was the gist of your conversation with the Saudi Crown Prince?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 19th

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s vision (just before his lobster tank exploded again) of DARPA contract assassiness Panty Goatee disguised as actress Emma Watson telling the car driver, “Take me to the U.S. Consulate here in Istanbul.”


  1. George F. said,

    I’d take her anywhere she wants to go!! Oh, did you write something…???

  2. Tanya said,

    Lol Donald Trump is one mad character, he himself doesn’t what he speaks 😃😃 and the Saudi prince is notorious for domestic violence and savagery. He has got his own mother locked up and has barred his wife from coming into limelight! What can you expect from such horrible people!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That’s very sad but true, Tanya.

      You really can’t expect much else from such horrible people.

      • Tanya said,

        It’s always distressing to watch news! I am avoiding it now a days!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the news does start to get depressing after a while.

      • Tanya said,

        Yes, already there is always so much going on in life!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Of course since much of my writing involves satire on current events, watching the news is part of my research.

      • Tanya said,

        That makes sense!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

  3. David Redpath said,

    “Emma dressed for a Hairy Potter.
    But where in that dress could
    she hide her wand, I wonder?”
    ~ An Anonymous Randy Lobster.

  4. Hyperion said,

    I think I just blew up my tank! Pantee Goatee is delightfully dressed for the ocassion.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Indeed she is, Daniel. 😆

      And DARPA is a lot more civilized than the Saudi regime.

      Unlike death at the hands of 14 savage and ruthless thugs like happened to poor Jamal Khashoggi, at least Jim Acosta will be dying with a smile on his face and an erection on his penis.

      • Hyperion said,

        I can’t imagine the horror Jim Acosta will suffer in the savage humping he will receive to his micro wee wee.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, especially if the said humping was done with a carving knife.

        It would definitely make that old nursery rhyme about the three blind mice and the farmer’s wife pale by comparison.

        Another lost piece of tail.

        Of course in Istanbul, one wonders whether that is truly a eunuch (unique) situation.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think Acosta would fit well in a demon leftist cult that worshiped the promiscuity of sheep and aphrodisiac qualities of pot mixed with horse dung.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, if Jim Acosta had been a Canadian journalist, he’d have probably been named Governor-General when it came time for Justin Trudeau to recommend someone to Queen Elizabeth II when the position became vacant during Truedope’s 1st (and hopefully last) term in office.

      • Hyperion said,

        At least he would be Canada’s problem and we would be ride of the loud mouth. I suspect a hockey team would send him packing.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes and a goalie named Jason would receive 10 minutes for slashing.

      • Hyperion said,

        Muwaaah haaa haaa! Jason would make a great Chief Justice position.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        He would really cut down Senate Democrat opponents at his Nomination Committee hearings.

      • Hyperion said,

        LMAO! 😆. And those cutting remarks would be the script of many a talk show host.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And Diane Feinstein’s head would be quite literally rolling in the aisles.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think it risky for Jason and Pan Goatee to use Devine Hineystone and Numbseat Piglosi’s heads as bowling balls in the Congress Hall. Some of the Democratic Socialist Communists will cry foul since Robert’s rules of order weren’t followed.

  5. David Redpath said,

    Istanbul is where Cleopatra had
    her younger sister, Ephesus Arsinoe

  6. David Redpath said,

    Arsinoe murdered, by on the
    steps of the Temple to Artemis.
    The more things change …

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Very true, David.

      Asia Minor seems to be the place where the rulers of the world arrange to have their undesirables bumped off.

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