Renfield and Ho Babylon Minh Torture Islamist Terrorists and Discuss Donald Trump

January 5, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )


Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh returning from a lunch of tea and crumpets at a trendy London tea shop to rejoin British MP Renfield R. Renfield in torturing 14 captured Egyptian Islamist terrorists in vengeance for last year’s December 28th terrorist attack on a Vietnamese tourist bus near the pyramids at Giza.

Ho Babylon Minh had to admit that crumpets with tea was indeed very good.

A quaint British custom that Ho found very alluring.

She also had to admit that she enjoyed working with British MP Renfield R. Renfield who seemed to have incorporated the best of oriental and occidental methods of torture.

It was nice to meet a Western politican who was capable of bringing the best of East and West together- albeit in a manner that groups such as Amnesty and Human Rights International would have found quite alarming.

The first time she and Renfield had worked together was last month when they had successfully poisoned Apple CEO Tim Cook in retaliation for the American government ordered pot smoking Canadian assisted arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport.

A lifelike AI robot lookalike of Tim Cook who looked and sounded exactly like Mr. Cook (one that had been built for Apple by Samsung because since Steve Jobs’ death, Apple had become incapable of building anything good) had unfortunately been crushed when a television camera from the Goodyear blimp fell on top of it at the start of the New Year.

Now Apple was squandering whatever profits it currently makes nowadays in an effort to pay Samsung to speedily reproduce a replacement.

The official Apple line was Mr. Cook was currently indisposed.

Whether this was due to a cold or a recent visit to a San Francisco health spa and steam baths, the Apple communique did not elaborate.

When Ho Babylon Minh heard about the devastating Islamist terrorist attack on her countrymen that killed 4 people and injured another 10, she immediately phoned Renfield for comfort.

Renfield said that he’d send his own private brigade of British Army Gurkhas (that was granted him under special arrangements with the Crown) to fly to Egypt clandestinely and capture 14 Islamist terrorists (the exact same number as those who were killed or injured on the Vietnamese tourist bus) and fly them back to Britain where they would be subject to Renfield’s own unique version of homespun British hospitality.

He invited Ho Babylon Minh to join him in the fun and games.

Ho gratefully accepted.

The very intricate torture procedures were of course recorded and filmed.

Renfield’s computers sent the imagery and sounds to various Islamist terrorist sites on the Net with the message, “This is what waits for you, you syphilis infested scumbags should you think of doing stuff like this.”

This particular Renfieldian torture for this occasion was done with robots.

As the others sat tied to chairs and watched behind locked glass, a terrorist was brought in and then strapped to a table.

A robot then put a small explosive into one of the terrorist’s limbs (be it an arm or leg) and then the explosive was detonated much to the terrorist’s chagrin.

The robot then sprayed fire into the resulting hole that would cauterize the blood flow and prevent the terrorist from bleeding to death.

The procedure was then repeated with the terrorist’s remaining limbs.

Finally after all four limbs had been blown off the terrorist’s body, an AI sex robot designed by Dr. Cadbury Rocher to look like one of the 72 dark eyed houri promised them in the Islamic Paradise approached them.

Seeing as how their head and their phallus was the only thing that remained on the terrorist’s body, the dark eyed houri sex robot mounted their phallus and then thrust herself upon him until he came.

In the background, Renfield played the song She’ll Be Coming Around The Mountain When She Comes.

When the terrorist came, so did the dark eyed houri sex robot.

However when the dark eyed houri sex robot came, her vaginal juices emitted a highly concentrated combination of both sulphuric and hydrochloric acid.

Needless to say, the terrorist found it an excruciatingly painful experience.

In the background, Renfield played an old and rare vintage album recording of W.C. Fields singing Frankly, I’d Rather Be In Philadelphia.

Finally a slow moving rotating saw was brought in to slowly cut off the Islamist terrorist’s head as Renfield played in the background the song As Time Goes By as sung by Dooley Wilson in the 1942 film Casablanca.

When this went on after 14 times, Renfield read on his Huawei smart phone that Donald Trump was once again stating that all those government employees who no longer had a paycheque coming in would continue to support him even if the shutdown went on for years because they all supported the idea of a wall with Mexico (which Trump had promised voters that Mexico would pay for when he was running for President).

“Donald Trump is an idiot,” Renfield stated aloud in a remark that Ho Babylon Minh thought was a brilliant grasp of the obvious.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 5th
2019.

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4 Comments

  1. David Redpath said,

    Sorry Dracul for the tardiness of this report.
    Unfortunately I was detained fleeing the
    Chinese mainland. When interrogated why,
    as an Australian citizen, I had a bottle of
    100% pure maple syrup secreted in my
    luggage, I explained that it is very sweet.
    With a sour look, the interrogator called
    me a chicken, then tore up my passport
    and accused me of being a Canadian.
    Thankfully, Babylon Ho pulled some strings,
    (and a carotid artery or two) and managed
    to get me released, minus the maple syrup.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Maple syrup and blood do make an interesting combination in the mysterious world of the orient.

  2. David Redpath said,

    Real unadulterated honey is very hard
    to find in much of Asia, so ‘Baby Ho’ is
    now promoting 100% Pure Canadian maple
    syrup, as a substitute, (” Good for Crumpet!”) and giving away a bottle with every Persian carpet sold.

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