Sherrielock Holmes’ 165th Birthday

January 6, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, love, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Today is the Feast Day of the Epiphany.

And it was on the Feast Day of The Epiphany in 1854 that two remarkable individuals were born.

Twins.

A boy and a girl.

The boy would go on to achieve fame and fortune as the world’s greatest consulting detective- Sherlock Holmes of 221 B Baker Street.

The girl would remain in the shadows.

One because of her chosen profession- that of a dominatrix.

And although her clientele included members of the British Empire’s high and mighty, no one wished to publicly speak of her.

She also worked for the most secret levels of British Intelligence.

She had been recruited into British Intelligence on the recommendation of one Winston Churchill in 1914 when he served in the World War I British cabinet as First Lord of The Admiralty.

By this time of course Sherrielock Holmes had achieved immortality.

Quite literally.

For she had eaten a specially prepared omelette made with Lingzhi supernatural mushrooms that had been developed by her husband the noted scientist Dr. Louis Rocher (who was ironically enough the illegitimate son of her twin brother’s mortal arch Prof. James Moriarty and a single unmarried French woman named Isabelle Rocher) which gave her immortality.

Dr. Rocher decided to wait to prepare a similar omelette and achieve immortality for himself.

A decision he came to regret after his plane was shot down by the Red Baron on April 20th 1918 just the day before the Red Baron was shot down himself by Canadian pilot Roy Brown on April 21st.

His immortal Lingzhi supernatural mushroom omelette recipe went to the ground with him.

Sherrielock Holmes left British Intelligence in 1920 and became a school teacher throughout the 1920s.


Sherrielock Holmes found her dominatrix training came in handy teaching in a girls’ school in the 1920s.


Living life briefly as a blonde, she also found her dominatrix experience came in handy teaching in a boys’ school in the 1920s.

Today of course, Sherrielock turned 165.

Her brother Sherlock had been offered one of Dr. Louis Rocher’s immortal omelettes as well but turned him down describing it as “oriental mumbo-jumbo” and “hocus pocus nonsense”.

Sherlock subsequently died of a massive cardiac arrest on May 28th 1937 upon hearing the news on BBC Radio that Neville Chamberlain had replaced Stanley Baldwin as Prime Minister of Britain.

German Fuhrer Adolf Hitler’s glee was the great British consulting detective’s death agony.

So Sherlock was not present at Sherrielock’s 165th Birthday party being held in the main dining room at the Savoy Hotel in London tonight hosted by her great-grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher who was the chief scientist at Set Enterprises the research and development firm owned by the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was the man said to embody the best (and the worst) of Holmes and Moriarty blood.

His greatest testtube genetic creation was present- the shapeshifting hamster/human British MP Renfield R. Renfield widely touted to someday become the Prime Minister of Britain and the Sir Winston Churchill of the 21st Century.

Also present was Amadeus Emanon (Set’s personal concert pianist) who had recently started recording his own songs at a major London music and recording studio and those few music critics who had listened to his songs touted him as a future British music sensation to equal the likes of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury.

Not present was Pan Goatee who had run away from Set Enterprises laboratories to join an American electric music rock band back in 2013 and now worked as a contract assassin for America’s DARPA and a satyr serial killer of ugly women.

There were various genetically modified animals that Dr. Rocher had created as well- including Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was currently occupying a blow proof lobster tank in the dining room of the Savoy.

That new Rocher prototype lobster tank turned out not to be so blow proof when Sherrielock entered the Savoy dining room wearing her lovely evening dress.

Waiters and bus boys were still mopping up water and London private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley (who were a defeated British Conservative MP and defeated British Labour MP respectively) hired to provide security for the birthday party were trying to prevent Gordon Ramsay, who had mistaken Michelangelo for an ordinary crustacean, from placing him in a pot of boiling water.

Intelligence agents from Russia, China and Venezuela were also at the event hoping to discover Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s plans for the redevelopment of the ancient Hebrew general Joshua’s trumpets capable of bringing down any wall (which would virtually ensure that Donald Trump would be pissing $5.6 billion in U.S. taxpayers’ money down the drain).

Renfield was already on his Huawei smart phone communicating with his latest crush newly elected Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez:

“Now more than ever I think $5.6 billion would be better spent towards implementing a national public health insurance program that most civilized nations in the western world already have” – Renfield

As for another of Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s creations, the genetically recreated winged horse Pegasus was now the pet and favourite animal of Queen Rania of Jordan.

She had received offers from both Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman and Jared Kushner to sell him but she had turned both men down flat.

And as in another place, billionaire George Soros was drowning his sorrows in champagne over the possible imminent collapse of the Brussels led European Union, the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill was proposing a toast to Sherrielock Holmes on her 165th Birthday.

And the ghost of Orson Welles took an old black and white picture of Sherrielock Holmes with an old Polaroid Model 95 Land camera invented by Edwin Land in 1948:

Sherrielock Holmes on her 165th Birthday- Not looking a day over 25.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday January 6th
2018
Feast of Epiphany

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12 Comments

  1. Diamond_$ said,

    Super

  2. Diamond_$ said,

    ☺️☺️

  3. George F. said,

    Brutally red butt cheeks on that photo! Hysterical! Happy birthday, Sherlock!

  4. Hyperion said,

    It just so happens that my next post has the same theme. How prescient of you to beat me to the punch so to speak. Whackity-Whack! Sherrielock is back 😍

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