Renfield Analyzes Trump Speech and Democrats’ Response

January 8, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was appearing on BBC World News to give his analysis of Donald Trump’s 1st ever Oval Office address and the replies given by Rep. Nancy Pelosi (Dem.- Calif.) and Sen. Chuck Schumer (Dem. – N.Y.).

“So, Mr. Renfield, your first take?” BBC News anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy asked the MP.

“Well,” Renfield sipped from a large bottle of Scotch whisky as he spoke, “I must congratulate whatever Trump advisor it was (most likely Jared Kushner in my opinion) who arranged the just right Silva Method visualization/guided imagery exercise to get the right demon (what New Agers and Oprah Winfrey insist on calling spirit guides since it’s a more innocuous term than the actual truth of what these beings/entities actually are) to possess the Donald’s body for the occasion of this television address from the Oval Office. Because whatever spoke from the Donald’s body in the Presidential chair gave the appearance of someone who was both intelligent and compassionate. And of course we all know that intelligence and compassion are two qualities that can never be associated with the real Donald Trump. The real Donald Trump speaks through his realDonaldTrump tweets where of course his “true colours”, like those of Cyndi Lauper’s clothes in a laundromat where the wrong type of bleach is used, keep “shining through” and his malice and stupidity is there for all the world to see.”

Geeta Guru-Murthy (secretly wishing that she had a good shot of whisky herself at the moment as this wasn’t usually the sort of response you’d get from your average typical British Member of Parliament), “And what about the replies of Rep. Pelosi and Sen. Schumer?”.

“Well, ditto for Rep. Pelosi,” Renfield pulled a 2nd bottle of whisky from underneath the table after having successfully polished off the first, “usually Rep. Pelosi comes across as being an evil demon possessed witch which of course is what one expects from a California style liberal Catholic which in this day and age is the demeanour of your typical Pope Francis style Catholic. However whatever demon (spirit guide for all you New Age believers out there) possessed Rep. Pelosi’s body tonight came across as being both rational and genuinely compassionate – two qualities of which one does not usually associate with the Baal and Moloch worshipping representative from San Francisco.”

Geeta Guru-Murthy (using the spiked stiletto point of her right high-heeled shoe to successfully drag one of the 12 bottles of whisky under the table towards herself), “And what about Sen. Chuck Schumer?”.

“Well,” Renfield reached for a third bottle of whisky, “whatever Silva Method workshop old Sen. Chuck attended to summon tonight’s demon/spirit guide, he might really want to ask for his 3rd Temple of Jerusalem shekels back. If anybody came across tonight as being a raving partisan belligerent bozo asshole, it was Sen. Chuck Schumer. In fact, I couldn’t see any real difference between the demon possessing Sen. Schumer’s body tonight and the real Sen.Chuck Schumer.”

As Lord L. (the British Lord who had ordered the murder of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick for exposing the secret gatherings of his Kabbalistic witchcraft cult in his 1999 movie Eyes Wide Shut), watched the BBC interview in his palatial London mansion, he reconsidered his invitation to Sen. Chuck Schumer to his Super Wolf Blood Moon party in Washington DC for this coming January 20th at which Welsh werewolf and former British Labour Party MP Magog Rhys Petley was to be sacrificed (although that fact wasn’t mentioned to Mr. Rhys Petley in his own personal invitation to the same event).

By this time, Geeta Guru-Murthy had managed to snag one of the bottles of whisky with her stiletto and was now using the lower skirt portion of her dress to rub the top off.

She succeeded and managed to get the top off and pour some of the refreshing liquid into the glass in front of her.

Meanwhile the studio floor director was still trying to let Geeta know that they were still live on air.

“That’s a 20 year old malt whisky,” Renfield stated to her as he reached for a piece of blue cheese and stared dreamily into space and thought of some old rhyme about wolfsbane from a 1941 Lon Chaney Jr. movie, “Most of the time, I drink 10 year old malt whisky or maybe 15 at the most but since tonight I was being asked to analyze speeches given by both Donald Trump and the U.S. Congress’ two leading Democrats, I thought I’d better make it a 20 year.”

Voice of BBC World News Voice-Over Announcer: Later tonight, a BBC News Special Report: Drinking In The Workplace: How Much of A Problem Is It Becoming?

As the announcement was made, both Renfield R. Renfield MP and Geeta Guru-Murthy were seen on the screen polishing off their respective bottles of Scotch whisky.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 8th
2019.

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13 Comments

  1. Hyperion said,

    Excellent commentary my friend. I did not watch the speech because the people of my nefarious Dragon Cult of Cybrid Worshipers believe watching evil could allow the evil to invade the consciousness. While I firmly believe with all my heart that the Great Orange Orifice blathers universal truths of nebulous intent across the Twitterverse, the true evil destruction of the free world flatulates from the Piglosi Sphincter of Doom. Clearly, Schumer is her Cerberus who ensures no pious soul survives the decadent decay of humanity. But, mainly, I didn’t watch it because I don’t have a TV. Maybe it will be on the Piglosi funded Trump Butt Hurt channel on YouTube.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTFLMFAO !

      Normally I wouldn’t have watched it but my housemate who watches sports 24 hours a day has been on holidays in B.C. the past 3 weeks.

      So I’ve actually been able to watch TV for myself and watch the best of BBC programming on PBS.

      The History Channel the past week has actually been showing other programming besides their endless reruns of the moronic American Pickers and Forged In Fire shows.

      I’ll actually be sorry to see him back.

      So I watched it last night and saw some entity in control of Trump’s body speaking on TV.

      From the same mouth, there was also the occasional deep breath intake and deep breath outake coming from the same body- no doubt from the real Donald Trump shocked that his mouth would actually be uttering things of intelligence and compaasion.

      One thing about not being subject to real TV news viewing since June 2016 is I hadn’t been aware that actual demonic possession of the country’s politicians had become the new normal in the U.S.

      I guess “reality TV” and Saddbleback megachurch pastor Rick Warren’s successful campaign to remove most Crosses and Crucifixes from America’s Evangelical Churches (thereby allowing demons free and easy access) has made most TV watching Americans totally oblivious to the actual demonic possession of the country’s leaders that is taking place in front of their very eyes.

      • Hyperion said,

        Normally, the demonic posessed Ragnorakians don’t notice those aberrations in others as it appears to be the norm to them. But, those who embrace Armageddon think the Ragnorakians have it all wrong and have taken to twitter to out twit the nit wits twittering about baby’s first carpet poo mishap. And we knew diaper blowby was a direct result of the diaper industry moving to China and using cheap elastic legging closures ensuring lean over load blower babies would experience frequent carpet bombing. It’s a devilish problem we have accepted as a mere fact of life once again proving that demons don’t recognize demonic possession. And bro, when you feed a kid evil born green pea porridge, you’ll know you’ve seen the gates of hell open when that stuff sails over the edge of the sofa onto the carpet.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes what was once considered a shocking scene with Linda Blair in The 1973 film The Exorcist is now considered standard fare in most Facebook and Instagram baby video postings on social media today.

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL! 😂. What have we become?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Well did Andy Warhol the man who prophetically foresaw that “one day every one would be famous for 15 minutes” post as an example of modern art a picture of a Campbell’s soup label in a portrait painting frame.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes and I believe he made quite a bit of soup money with his soup can.

  2. George F. said,

    ,…drag one of the 12 bottles of whisky under the table towards herself…12 bottles! Hell, even my characters don’t carry around a case! LOL! Brilliiant satire as usual! His body was taken over? I would have noticed but I couldn’t get past the hair…the flat hair, canary yellow! This political theatre is life imitating comedy!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes by one of the fallen angels masquerading as an angel of light.

      No doubt some entity summoned by Jared Kushner from his collection of rare Kabbalistic texts.

      Just another stepping stone on Kushner’s way to rebuilding the Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem (with all the idols of pagan gods and goddesses to be found in the original when Solomon let his wisdom succumb to his dick in shagging 700 wives and 300 concubines).

  3. Katherine said,

    Well then, what can I say… it seems that Trump is possesed since childhood 😆

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