Lepardia Marango Plans To Save Renfield’s Life While Andrew Cuomo Sacrifices A Groundhog For Groundhog Day

February 2, 2019 at 11:52 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

2 Comments

  1. annieasksyou said,

    Mr. Van Helsing: Perhaps I am being too literal, but did you not tell me that one Renfield R. Renfield previously met a grievous end? Is he among the Undead? I am new to your work, so I may need some guidance in your parameters.

    At any rate, your paper bag on Ralph Northam’s head was well worth the price of admission, so to speak…

    Cheers,

    Annie

  2. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    Hi Annie,

    I think you were referring to that chapter I was telling you where Renfield was conducting the Chicago Philharmonic Orchestra in a performance of Rossini’s William Tell Overture.

    Renfield’s unique approach to that piece was to have members of the orchestra wear apples on their heads and when the Lone Ranger theme song piece of the overture was played, the musicians were to stand and a group of Swiss crossbow archers were to shoot the apples off their heads.

    The resulting musical and archery skills catastrophe that followed resulted in either death or injury to 90% of the musicians in the Philharmonic Orchestra but Renfield himself as the conductor survived as he wasn’t wearing an apple on his head like the musicians were.

    No, Renfield is definitely not Undead.

    He used to be Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (who was worshipped as the god of darkness, chaos and the desert by the ancient Egyptians and became infamous for murdering and bodily dismembering his brother Osiris).

    Renfield is now an MP in the British Parliament after having won a landslide victory in his constituency a short time after he led a successful British Army commando raid on an ISIS Islamic State training camp in Libya in retaliation for an ISIS suicide bomber’s attack on the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester England in 2017.

    As Renfield’s best friend Amadeus Emanon once said about him, “Renfield is the type of guy who can fall down an outhouse and come up smelling like a rose.”

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