Tom Brady and The Baphomet

February 6, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Celebrities, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield was having lunch with his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont.

Renfield was having his favourite item on the menu- the Deluxe Dagwood Bumstead sized tuna fish sandwich.

“So anyways,” Renfield went on between huge mouthfuls of tuna fish, “it turns out that the aide to Rep. Nancy Pelosi spoke to stakeholders in both Blue Cross and Blue Shield insurance companies and assured them that there was no way Rep. Pelosi would allow for a national publicly funded single payer health care system. Hence I was right to advise my favourite American politian Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to give Rep. Nancy Pelosi the raspberry she so richly deserved when the former arrived in Washington DC. Establishment Democrats are just as bad as Trump neo-Establishment Republicans in defending the interests of ordinary working class and middle class Americans but the pseudointellectuals who make up the editorial content and opinion of The New York Times and Washington Post haven’t figured that out yet. They’re still busy blaming the poor Russians for Trump’s victory in 2016. Have you noticed the Robert Mueller probe which has been going on and on have charged Trump’s cronies with all manner of felonies except collusion with the Russians? Trump and Pelosi may be divided when it comes to walls but when it comes to denying poor and sick Americans access to first rate quality health care, the Donald and Nancy are united as one. Egads that sickening imagery I just used in my last sentence I won’t be able to get out of my mind now.”

Renfield pushed aside his remaining half plate of the Deluxe Dagwood Bumstead Tuna Sandwich.

Amadeus (whose large appetite overcame any aversion he might have had towards Renfieldian imagery of Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi engaged in conjugal relations even though both were excellent at screwing the country) promptly started to eat the sandwich.

“And then of course the New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady who may or may not have inflatable and deflatable balls,” Renfield added, “is now promoting Baphomet worship through the beer named in his honour.”

“Baphomet the trans-species and transgendered hybrid goat-human demon worshiped by the Knights-Templar, Eliphas Levi, Aleister Crowley and all those groups who object to public displays of the 10 Commandments?” Amadeus stopped eating (albeit momentarily).

“The very same,” Renfield nodded.

“I’d heard about that,” said Angelique Dumont who was an American vampiress from New Orleans (and therefore most definitely not a Tom Brady fan), “The Samuel Adams Brewing Company based in Boston is brewing a limited edition beer that celebrates Tom Brady as the GOAT (Greatest of All Time except in those moments when his balls start deflating). But the goat they use in the image is the Baphomet goat head.”

“Wow,” Amadeus managed to say between mouthfuls of the tuna.

“And of course the quarterback holding the ball on the beer can who happens to have the head of the Baphomet bears the #12 on his jersey which of course is Tom Brady’s number but 2012 is also the year that the famous French Lovecraftian inspired artist and painter P.H. Felinedamour mysteriously disappeared on the night of December 21st just as the Baphomet was seen standing outside his art studios,” Renfield remarked as he sipped his Chai tea.

“Wow,” Amadeus repeated his mantra for the evening the same way that Fox news commentators mindlessly and stupidly repeat the mantra word of Venezuela whenever they were confronted with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s proposals for a publicly funded national healthcare system.

. . .

“Who are you?” New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady asked the ghostly white figure wearing the black mask who approached him.

“I am the ghost of Dr. Faustus,” the spectre replied, “the one who foolishly sold his soul to the demon Mephistopheles. I was recently granted temporary dispensational leave from Purgatory by Hades and Persephone the rulers of the Underworld to come warn you as Hades just happens to be a New England Patriots fan.”

“Warn me of what?” Brady spilled GOAT Beer all over himself.

“The Baphomet (whom you stupidly sold your soul to) will soon be coming for your soul,” Faustus sneezed an ectoplasmic sneeze all over the inside of his mask.

“But I was promised 7 Super Bowl titles in exchange for my soul,” Brady protested, “Just like Oliver Cromwell was promised 7 years of power as absolute ruler of Britain when he sold his soul to Lucifer the Devil himself. I only have 6 Super Bowl titles.”

“Yes, but the Antichrist might be coming soon,” Faustus took off his mask showing a heavily burnt and disfigured face, “and the Baphomet is afraid that in the confusion of the Apocalypse, your soul might somehow get away from him.”

“How the Hell is the Antichrist coming soon?” Brady asked.

“Well, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Pope Francis, Talpiot (which is the Israeli equivalent of DARPA) and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman are currently working on a strict timetable,” Faustus answered.

“Shit,” said Brady.

Faustus continued to walk down the street where he passed filmmaker Michael Moore in a pizzeria drinking GOAT Beer alongside the demon Baal and eating the pizzeria’s John Podesta pizza special.

-A vampire novel
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 6th
2019.


The Baphomet and Tom Brady merged in one on a GOAT Beer can.

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47 Comments

  1. George F. said,

    Yep. AOC and the new wave reveal incumbent democrats for what they really are: entrenched conservatives. Glad someone else noticed. And she is my favorite as well. I expect her to be President in 2028. Have you noticed the Marxist revolt is brewing…we’re getting tired of reading about trillionaires.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      She could also, technically speaking, run for President in 2024 (since she turns 35 on October 13th weeks before the 1st Tuesday in November Presidential election – 35 being the constitutional minimum age limit to be President) but definitely in 2028, I expect to see her as President.

      Yes, people are tired of hearing about trillionaires.

      Ever since the worldwide financial collapse of 2008, working and middle class Americans have experienced the greatest period of economic disappointment since the America of the 1930s- the last time period when so many Americans were becoming attracted to Marxism.

      Seattle Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz can choke on his expensive overpriced lousy tasting coffee as far as I’m concerned.

      • George F. said,

        AOC is proving an Einstein quote: “An entire generation needs to die before a new idea takes hold.”

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think a lot of 20th Century and 21st Century despots have taken that Einsteinian quote to heart in the most bloodthirsty manner possible.

  2. Tanya said,

    Amazing, agree with you at so many levels….the meeting of ghost of Faustus and Tom Brady is interesting. Raspberry for Pelosi lol, we’re you referring to neckpiece she was wearing on the night of capitol address? Brilliant I really loved the whole reference to Dr.Fautus and antichrist. I’m can imagine Michael Moore in local Pizzerias 😬😬

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks, Tanya. ☺

      Yes, she certainly deserves the raspberry for the necklace she was wearing during the Capitol Hill Adress. 😄

      I don’t imagine most local pizzerias can imagine Michael Moore in them either. 😂

      • Tanya said,

        I know I was wondering what is she wearing, the whole spectacle was funny, and that super bowl was so funny can you believe I just sat to view advertisements in between. Also Maroon 5’s dud performance 😬

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, where was Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake when you really needed them? 😒

      • Tanya said,

        Ha ha Janet must be in Kuwait with her ex and Justin must be dancing somewhere… imagine spectators first victims of super boring super bowl, then girl like you… performance by Maroon 5, then Tom Brady’s wife Giselle who got more footage then rest of the players …😬😬

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yep, the other Patriots got less coverage than the wife of the Goat head.

      • Tanya said,

        I know, it was all what Giselle is doing!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I guess one could call the whole show the Super Bore rather than the Super Bowl.

      • Tanya said,

        Lol hey I just posted a poem, I’m sure you will like it, esp coz it has a moose and I guess Canada has lot of moose😬😬, weird as it sounds ha ha

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Canada has a lot of moose. 😃

        Or as the Scotsman said when he visited Canada, “Egads, if that’s a moose, I’d hate to see the size of your elephants.” 😄

  3. annieasksyou said,

    At the threat of receiving the raspberries here, I must rise in defense of Nancy Pelosi, whose progressive career has been long and consistent. Without her, we would never have gotten Obamacare. A flawed and basically conservative approach, to be sure, but it was the beginning of the process that will ultimately get us Medicare for all because it got people used to having preexisting conditions covered. Health care reform has been the cause of Pelosi’s life. I think she’ll be written up as one of the greatest speakers of all time. She was prepared to resign if Hillary had won, but she’s now a major bulwark against Trump now.
    I think AOC has a bright future, but she needs to get a staff in place to help her because she’s made a lot of factual errors that make her an easy target for critics frightened by her bravery and charisma.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Let’s just say that I am not a fan of Nancy Pelosi nor am I a fan of Barack Obama to put it mildly.

      If I lived in America, I’d truly be an independent in the most vivid sense of that word unlike spoiled brat billionaire Howard Schulz.

      • annieasksyou said,

        What do you think of your current government? When trump won, lots of us wistfully thought of life in Canada. I heard Calvin Trillin speak days before the election, and he said: “Want to know why I’m not worried about the election? I already have a house in Canada.” A man in the back yelled out: “How many rooms?”

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Our Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is certainly a lot better than his father Pierre Elliott Trudeau was.

        His father was also Prime Minister many years ago and he was a pompous arrogant asshole and extremely vindictive – sort of a Marxist equivalent of Donald Trump.

        I think Justin is more like his mother in personality and temperament- more of a people person.

        I think Justin’s biggest mistake was full legalization of marijuana as a recreational substance.

        I think that will be recognized in years to come as more and people have their brain cells destroyed and it becomes both a growing health and social problem.

      • annieasksyou said,

        You may, unfortunately, turn out to be right about marijuana. The rush is surely on—and there’s gold in them there weed. I can see you making mince meat out of former Rep. Leader Boehner, now a spokesman for companies extolling all the wealth investors can reap.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, very much so.

        Former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney (who was even a bigger and more pompous and arrogant asshole and even more like Donald Trump in temperament and personality than Pierre Elliot Trudeau was) sits on the Board of Directors of Canada’s largest cannabis company raking in the profits.

  4. Hyperion said,

    An interesting tale of true life as it happens. Sadly, I’m out of step with everyone else because I laughed through my nose thinking of Trump getting his toupee set afire by Melania after she discovers Donald was paying Nancy for lap dances in the Oval Office “Others” restroom.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Oval Office “Others” restroom?

      ROTFL!

      I imagine it gets rather crowded in there- particularly when people from the state of California and the Democratic Party’s entire Congressional caucus are visiting.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaaa haaaa haaaa! That explains why there is one of those take a number machines by the door.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And why there are large piles of feces and urine on the floor.

      • Hyperion said,

        And that is why the national debt went up because we were forced to pay a large staff of undocumented workers union wages to work 24/7 keeping the Capitol rose garden well fertilized and the green carpet from turning brown. It would have been much cheaper to issue adult diapers to all the infantile adults working feverishly to destroy the country.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTFL!

        And this is probably the reason why Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Green New Deal will turn out to be so expensive.

        Because it will take an awful lot of the other colour of green (greenbacks) to prevent the deal from turning brown given the huge amount of feces floating in the D.C. swamp.

        And of course draining the swamp and building a high wall at the same time is a sure fire recipe for disaster.

        “That is sure one shitty looking stew,” Renfield might say might say as he gazes down at the floating bodies in an RAF flyover.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaa haaaa haaa! They need to build a wall around D.C. to keep all of the swamp idiots contained before the whole country is a swamp. Of course if we concentrate on putting marijuana in every consumable product, nobody will care what happens. We’ll all be watching Cheech and Chong movies and eating brownies reported to have 100% of the daily requirement for fiber.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes and it seems to be states that have legalized recreational cannabis like California and Colorado which also coincidentally enough have the greatest proportion of “Others” washrooms.

      • Hyperion said,

        And interestingly enough, 90% of the population in the aforementioned states use the others restroom leaving the male and female washrooms relatively unused.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTFLMFAO ! 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Hi Daniel,

        I just thought I’d let you know another example of my vampire novel being presient.

        I wrote this post inspired by the fact that the image on the can of Samuel Adams GOAT Beer is the spitting image of the Baphomet.

        Therefore I wrote this chapter where Brady sold his soul to the Baphomet.

        Now it turns out that maybe there’s something to it.

        I just watched a news video where Brady gave a talk at Gillette Headquarters in Boston (the same Gillette that tells us that traditional masculinity is toxic) and at the talk Brady says his Brazilian wife Gisele Bundchen is a practicing witch.

        She always performs a ritual before the game where she sets up an altar and lights candles and has Brady chanting several mantras.

        She told him that year a few years ago where he lost the Super Bowl that he was going to lose.

        So my writing where I say witchcraft has entered American politics (Hillary saying she made voodoo dolls of her enemies after she lost the 2016 election in her book), entertainment (actress Alyssa Milano saying she tried to cast a hex on Brett Kavanaugh at his confirmation hearing ) and sports (that now being confirmed by Brady saying his wife is a practicing witch who performs ceremonies before his games) is all being confirmed by news stories later.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes this is an example of those without power practice witchcraft. This is also a nod to Sherry’s prescience in her novels of demons in the NAZI party of WWII. Giselle is a descendent of the NAZI SS that fled to South America when Germany surrendered. They set up quite the enterprise and continued their secret society of mysticism to this day. The original SS are all gone now but they were careful to indoctrinate their offspring to carry the torch of demonic power into the future. Interesting that they used their power to win the superbowl instead of conquering Pootin. Perhaps Vlad is still too high on the Demonic chain for them to take on.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Another reason why I’d love to be able to read Sherry’s novels.

        I didn’t know that she had mentioned the demonism present in the Nazi party.

        I first found out about demonism in the Nazi party when I first read the book The Occult and The Third Reich by Jean-Michel Angebert as a teen-ager.

        The Allies decided to cover up public mention of the Nazis’ occult practices during the Nuremberg trials (probably because they were being introduced into the OSS -forerunner of the CIA- after the war).

        Interestingly enough, Orson Welles talked about the pagan occult rituals and practices of the Nazis in his 1946 film The Stranger.

        No wonder Welles was eventually told to take a hike by the Hollywood film establishment.

        That’s interesting about Brady’s wife being a descendant of the SS who fled to Brazil.

        When I heard that Brady had a Brazilian wife and then googled her and found out that her last name was Bundchen, I remember thinking that doesn’t sound like a typical Portuguese Brazilian name.

        I think Vlad is too high on the demonic chain for them to take on.

        Since according to the Third Secret of Fatima (whose contents I discovered this past November were mentioned in the revelations of Our Lady of Akita to the Japanese nun Sister Agnes Sasagawa back in the 1970s) Satan’s partisans in the East will win World War III.

        It said nothing about Satan’s partisans in the West winning World War III so I guess Satan’s partisans in the West will stick to winning the Super Bowl until such time as Vlad and Xi decide to try their hands at French cooking and make a radioactive flambe a la merde out of the D.C. swamp.

      • Hyperion said,

        I highly suspect Pootin already knows that a Flambé out of gay Parí and the DC Swamp would have little effect and so he rightfully stuck to conquering the west by sending memes to social media.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Of course the globalists in the Deep State of the U.S. government don’t seem to be bright enough or creative enough to come up with imaginative social media memes of their own to sway people to their point of view.

        No doubt as a result of Russian schoolchildren being encouraged to play chess while American schoolchildren back in the day were playing Donkey Kong and the Mario Brothers on the playground.

        The aftereffects of these childhood activities seemed to have produced vastly different results for both countries as far as their analysis and insight amongst the respective national intelligence agencies goes.

      • Hyperion said,

        That is very true. American kids are waaaay behind Russian and East European as well as Asian education. Korea usually is in the top 3 in education while America is ranked 47th in the world.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        When I wrote that vampire novel chapter about Apple having to turn to Korea’s Samsung to build a realistic looking robot to appear to be Apple CEO Tim Cook in public after Renfield and Chinese government operative the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the immortal Undead granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh) delivered a poisoned apple pie to Mr. Cook resulting in his demise (which only Dr. Cadbury Rocher has an antidote for) in retaliation for the U.S. government ordered Canadian government assisted arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou, it appears I was once again being presient about the superiority of Korean genius over American genius (the quality of which has vastly diminished since the death of the late Steve Jobs).

      • Hyperion said,

        You were in fact, peering into the immediate future, my Friend. You should continue to be the true oracle instead of the Great Orange Orifice who portends to control the future through his Twitter account. He overlooked the power of The ancient Russ’ Facebook with the butt puppet in the gray T-shirt and their world wide meme bombs.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Putin’s definitely the man on top and the GOO is the bottom on the bottom.

      • Hyperion said,

        The GOO went to drain the swamp but found himself mired in the mud without a drain plug. I don’t think a noble and righteous person would ever dare to destroy their good reputation by becoming a Washington politician. We are forever doomed to fill the halls with self serving sociopaths hell bent on glory for themselves and no one else.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that about sums it up all right.

      • Hyperion said,

        It’s a GOOey mess for sure. This mess could be worse than the blue dress caper under Bilious Bill Klintoon.

  5. Judy Eun Kyung Kim said,

    This one is the best, the dagwood sandwich, goat beer and Michael Moore at the pizzeria, are my favorites😄

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