Goddesses and Vampiresses On Saint Valentine’s Eve
The Persian goddess Anahita: A Saint Valentine’s Eve surprise for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing
Dracul Van Helsing was down at the Set Enterprises Laboratories and Rug Emporium on London’s Canary Wharf.
He was there to return a Persian flying carpet that the ghost of Orson Welles had borrowed to fly to Chicago and avoid all the heavy snowstorms that had recently been occurring at Chicago’s O’ Hare Airport.
As he walked into the head office of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s Persian carpet warehouse partner the Persian goddess Anahita, she was there waiting for him:
Anahita: Good evening, Mr. Van Helsing.
She raised her dress and touched her legs as if she was doing a TV commercial for Venus Leg Care Products from Gillette.
“Soon Venus will be the only products that Gillette makes for both women and men,” Dracul remarked as he gazed at her.
Anahita lay back on the floor, “I hear that New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady while being shaved at Gillette Headquarters in Boston announced to the world that his wife Gisele Bundchen was a witch but a good witch who helps him win football games through the use of altars, candles, rituals, declarations of intent, healing stones and mantras.”
“I hear the same,” Dracul put down the magic carpet, “and a friend of mine in Huntsville, Alabama tells me that Gisele’s grandfather (or was it her great-grandfather?) was a Nazi SS officer who fled to Brazil from Germany after the war. An SS officer who participated in the highest Nazi satanic SS rituals.”
“Generational witchcraft,” Anahita sighed, “so what spirits is Gisele communing with?”.
“I have no idea,” Dracul answered, “and I do not intend to find out.”
“Did you know that David’s son King Solomon practiced witchcraft and sorcery?” Anahita ran her hands through her hair.
“So I’ve been told,” Dracul replied, “which is probably why the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry has been so anxious to see Solomon’s Temple rebuilt.”
“Did you ever time travel to Solomon’s original Temple?” Anahita asked.
“I did,” Dracul nodded.
“And did you enter Solomon’s Temple?” She asked him with a knowing and inviting smile.
“That I did,” the vampire hunter’s answer was affirmative.
“And would you like to enter my temple?” Anahita licked her lips and raised her dress.
“I would,” Dracul spoke the truth.
Next door in the weightlifting room as Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was working out and lifting weights in an effort to impress his crush Sherrielock Holmes, the voice of Frank Sinatra could be heard on the crustacean’s iPhone singing, “That old black magic has me in its spell…”
Dracul entered Anahita’s temple.
. . .
“And where are you going, Count?” the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith asked Dracula on the forest trail through the Carpathians as she saw him approach.
“Lilith!” Dracula was astounded.
It had been centuries since she had turned him into a vampire.
Both wolves and ravens turned and fled from the site of this reunion.
. . .
“Thank you, your Eminence,” Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal addressed the kabbalistic practicing Cardinal Samhain Salaman.
“You are welcome,” the Cardinal bowed.
“That alchemical ritual you performed with the blood I gave you makes me look even younger than my usual young self,” Allatallahbel smiled.
“The blood you gave me in that test tube helped,” said Samhain Cardinal Salaman, “whose blood was it anyways?”.
“Ariana Grande’s,” Allatallahbel licked her vampiric incisors.
Ariana Grande: Her blood provided youthful rejuvenation to Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 13th
Saint Valentine’s Eve
2019.
Dracul Van Helsing 
George F. said,
February 14, 2019 at 12:13 am
I’ll enter all their temples. Your stories always enchant me, Dracul.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
February 14, 2019 at 12:58 am
It’s like the song from that old movie musical South Pacific… “Some enchanted evening…”
Fiery said,
February 14, 2019 at 1:51 am
You feed the conspiracy theorist part of my brain!!!
Love it!!
Dracul Van Helsing said,
February 14, 2019 at 2:01 am
Thanks very much, Fiery. ❤
Years ago, the great British essayist, journalist, writer and satirist Malcolm Muggeridge said, “The only way an actual conspiracy theory of history would work in reality is if demons actually exist. If it was just humans in charge, they’d totally screw it up like they do everything else. Only the Devil and fallen angels could carry out such a plan lasting across centuries and across millenia.”
I have adopted that premise as the starting point for my vampire novels.
Fiery said,
February 14, 2019 at 2:04 am
Yep.
I totally agree with that
I was heavily into conspiracy theories for years (don’t even like using the term actually) and I read and watched a lot and I was becoming a bit obsessed. Couldn’t get enough info into my brain some days.
Now I’ve eased up and just feel as though it’s all in there in my head making daily sense of the oddities we experience every day that everyone seems to be blind to
Dracul Van Helsing said,
February 14, 2019 at 2:51 pm
Yes, I don’t like the term conspiracy theory either.
When people are finally asked to take the Mark of The Beast, it will have become conspiracy fact.
And things these days seem to be hidden in plain sight for all the world to see.
This year’s Super Bowl and Grammy Awards are proof of that.
Fiery said,
February 15, 2019 at 1:02 am
Right…they always are. When you know the symbolism it’s mind boggling that others don’t see it.
velvetscreams said,
February 14, 2019 at 4:16 am
Why ariana grande😂😂
Dracul Van Helsing said,
February 14, 2019 at 2:56 pm
Yes, poor Ariana Grande. 😰
Her youthful good looks and vibrancy, Allatallahbel wanted to take advantage of.
velvetscreams said,
February 14, 2019 at 3:33 pm
😁i see
Dracul Van Helsing said,
February 14, 2019 at 3:56 pm
You’ll have to keep a bottle of Holy Water by your bed, Velvet, so that Allatallahbel won’t take advantage of your youthful beauty and vitality.
David Redpath said,
February 14, 2019 at 4:33 pm
Vampirella!
That Dracul is on lucky fella😎
Dracul Van Helsing said,
February 14, 2019 at 4:45 pm
Indeed he is, David. 😃
Jyo said,
February 14, 2019 at 7:26 pm
Imperessive content !
Dracul Van Helsing said,
February 14, 2019 at 9:32 pm
Thank you very much. ☺
Tanya said,
February 15, 2019 at 5:39 am
Funny, witty and Ariana Grande …❤❤❤
Dracul Van Helsing said,
February 15, 2019 at 8:08 am
Thank you, Tanya. ❤❤❤
Yes, I’ve got all bases covered in this tale.
Stories with Luna said,
February 18, 2019 at 7:59 pm
I laughed much louder than I had anticipated 😂😂😂 great read!
Dracul Van Helsing said,
February 18, 2019 at 10:35 pm
Thank you kindly. 😃😃😃