Brexit, Renfield For PM, Mermaid Miranda and Poseidon’s Trident

March 12, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )


The Vampiress Golgotha standing guard on the Astana Kazakhstan estate of her mother the Vampiress Lilith

A recently discovered Nostradamus tweet on the Internet had sent French and Italian intelligence agents scrambling to the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith’s estate to try to recover the Golem of Prague (recently abducted from his home in the attic of a Prague synagogue) for themselves.

The tweet read, “Whoever controls the Golem of Prague will control the European Union.” #Megalomaniac

German Intelligence agents hadn’t bothered to rush to Lilith’s estate because as German Chancellor Angela Merkel had pointed out, “Nostradamus died long before the Internet was invented.”

But it never occurred to President Emmanuel Macron of France or whatever Italian Prime Minister or Deputy Prime Minister was running the Italian government today while all the other coalition cabinet ministers were down in a Roman vino bar eating spaghetti and drinking vino.


The Vampiress Golgotha ready to slash the throat of any French or Italian intelligence agent planning to steal the Golem of Prague from her mother the Vampiress Lilith’s estate.

. . .

Meanwhile in Washington DC, Donald Trump had directed his Norwegian blue parrot to order the Pentagon to send a U.S. Special Forces unit to Astana Kazakhstan to take control of the Golem of Prague.

. . .

Msgr. Georg Ganswein knocked on the door of the bedroom of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI.

“Yes,” the elderly Father Joseph Ratzinger opened the door.

“Holy Father,” the personal secretary still referred to the Pope Emeritus as Holy Father, “Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is on the phone. She wants advice on what to do now that the latest Brexit bill has been defeated in Parliament. She wants to know whether she should request that a national unity coalition government be formed with a freshman MP from an opposition party that has only 2 seats in the House of Commons serving as Prime Minister.”

. . .

“I’m going to be Britain’s next Prime Minister,” MP Renfield R. Renfield announced to his friends Amadeus Emanon, the New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill before passing out at the London pub table where he was sitting after indulging in too many glasses of strong drink.

“He reminds me of me when I was still alive,” the ghost of Churchill remarked with spirited spectral tears in his ghostly eyes.

. . .


The Greek goddess Artemis dressed as a steampunk time traveller stands guard at the Latin numeral clock of Thoth (ancient Egyptian god of time and record keeping) in London as the clock winds down on Brexit.

The Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire Franz Kohler had been travelling back and forth through time to prevent the anti-Nazi Renfield R. Renfield from becoming Prime Minister of Britain in the 2nd decade of the 21st Century thus preventing a resurrection of Der Fuhrer’s 1000-year-old Reich which both Kohler and the dying (hopefully soon to be resurrected) late Fuhrer hoped to achieve through mastery of Die Glocke a bell-shaped time travelling Nazi UFO flying saucer.

Now he was hoping to stop the Thoth clock’s countdown to Brexit to buy himself and the Reich more time.

In his occult research, Kohler had discovered that mermaid venom was capable of killing a god or goddess.

The SS officer put the Amazon blow dart with mermaid venom dipped arrow to his lips.

Only to find himself being shot with silver bullets fired at him by the gun of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

Kohler fell to the ground mortally immortally wounded while Artemis and Van Helsing embraced and kissed.

“Not more engaging in tantric sex,” Kohler gasped as he saw the couple making out below the hands of the clock.

As Kohler started to slip away into eternal darkness, he could hear the voice of Cher singing from a distant radio, “If I could turn back time…”

. . .

The Mossad agent they call the Controller of The Golem (who no longer controlled his most prized possession the Golem of Prague) was walking sadly along the beach north of Tel Aviv when he came upon some rocks on which sat his good friend the mermaid Miranda who had shapeshifted into and assumed human form.

She too looked sad.

“Miranda, what’s wrong?” The Mossad agent asked.

Miranda looked at Nathan (which was the agent’s first name), “You’ve no doubt heard of the theft of the Greek sea god Poseidon’s trident. Neptune as he was called by the Romans only made the theft public now. The Syro-Phoenician mermaid goddess Atargatis in fact stole it from him a few years ago. And handed it over to the Russians. Poseidon’s trident serves as the basis for the Russian hypersonic Tsirkon missile.”

Nathan gulped.

With his knowledge of both classical mythology and advanced modern weapons systems, he knew that would make the Russian hypersonic Tsirkon missile invincible.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 12th
2019.

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15 Comments

  1. velvetscreams said,

    Yhh…just what i needed today

  2. MOMENTS said,

    Wow, love this vampire story with world politicians and mythological gods. So well written, original and humorous.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much. ☺

      • MOMENTS said,

        You are welcome. And thank you so much for the follow. I really appreciate this. Sometimes I think I do not deserve this attention compared to my artist-writer Mario Savioni. His blog still gets less attention than mine. This is just not fair. Mario, like you, is an excellent writer compared to my amateur attempts.
        Therefore, I strongly recommend you and all your followers his novel “Pickles and Tarts” (very short chapters, easy to read). It is a story where 54-year-old Frank has been selected by 19-year-old Nicole through a dating site. Frank looks at Nicole’s photos on the site and is attracted to her beauty. Nicole tells him she has a boyfriend and is not interested in a romantic relationship. She adds: “It’s fun to talk to different people sometimes.” It is a lovely story of illusion-delusion, dream-reality, non-conformist with the Capitalist system, reflective on love, sex and human relationships in today’s world. It is profound and highly intriguing: https://savioni.wordpress.com/2019/03/08/pickles-and-tarts-chapter-9/

  3. ortensia said,

    Only a goddess vampiress can save May nowadays🤦🏼‍♀️

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, only a goddess vampiress will be able to save May. 😂

      • ortensia said,

        My kids didn’t even know if they will be able to go to school trip this year because it should be to a museum in Belfast and if they will need passports they won’t go😱

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s very sad.

      • ortensia said,

        I know, it’s absolutely against any common sense all the opposition they are doing against a special treaty between Ulster and ROI.I have friends whose farm will is half in the republic territory and half on the other side and if they rebuild the boarder it will be mayhem .

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That really would be pure mayhem.

        Half of your farm divided by a border.

      • ortensia said,

        Right😱the world is going bananas…..

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And we can expect dozens of world leaders to start slipping on banana peels all over the place.

      • ortensia said,

        And here you have a scene for next post 😉

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s right. 😂

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