Renfield Discusses Despot Erdogan

March 20, 2019 at 8:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

It was March 20th 2019.

The spring equinox in the northern hemisphere had arrived.

And it was the evening of the Super Worm Moon.

And the Byzantine vampiress Theodora had put something in Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s Turkish coffee that would give the Islamist despot and would-be Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire an extremely bad case of ring worm and tape worms the next morning.

Meanwhile in London, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was discussing Erdogan’s latest actions with his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont.

“Erdogan is trying to show the world that he’s the Donald Trump of Turkey,” Renfield commented, “while Facebook and Instagram have been removing all traces of the Australian white supremacist terrorist’s footage of the Christchurch mosque mass shootings, the asshole Erdogan has been showing the footage at at least eight election rallies to whip up anti-western sentiment in Turkey and help his Islamist party win local elections.”

“Will it work?” Amadeus asked.

“Time will tell,” said Renfield, “the thing that some fanatical piece of garbage does on one side of the world (in this case New Zealand) always inspires some fanatical piece of sewer filth on the other side of the world (in this case, Erdogan in Turkey) to take advantage of it.
Just like when some militant Islamist terrorist group commits an atrocity, Trump will shoot off some idiotic tweet about “we need to build a wall.” #HittingMyHeadConstantlyAgainstABrick.”

Angelique Dumont commented, “I noticed at a rally commemorating the 1915 defeat of British, Australian and New Zealander forces by Ottoman troops at Gallipoli that was held this week in Turkey, Erdogan commented, “Your grandparents came here and returned in coffins. Have no doubt we will send you back like your grandfathers” in a direct address to the people of Australia and New Zealand which shocked both the Australian and New Zealand governments.”

“I see no one has bothered to point out to the bozo that while the Ottoman Empire won at Gallipoli, they went on to lose the First World War,” Renfield commented as he ate his roast turkey sandwich.

“Despots only celebrate their victories, never their defeats,” Angelique noted.

“That’s very true,” Renfield nodded.

“So who’s going to stop Erdogan from rebuilding the Ottoman Empire?” Amadeus asked.

The ghost of Sir Winston Churchill sitting at the next table contemplated that question.

After all, he was the one who had planned the attack on Gallipoli.

Something which definitely turned out to be NOT his finest hour.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 20th

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora put tape worm and ring worm in Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s coffee to mark the evening of the Super Worm Moon.

The Super Worm Moon arises over Lilith’s pyramid at Astana Kazakhstan.


  1. George F. said,

    Brilliant, once again.

  2. George F. said,

    always inspires some fanatical piece of sewer filth on the other side of the world …because that’s exactly what happens, and you’re brilliant to see it.

  3. Hyperion said,

    It is rumored that the beslubbering doghearted codpiece would be Sultan has begun to lose weight as a result of a very itchy ass. He was photographed by the Trump-hired paparazzi scooting his bare bottom on the grass behind the Ottoman presidential palace. Score again for the vampiresses.

  4. annieasksyou said,

    This is depressingly real.

    Super worm moon is great. You don’t miss a thing. Also enjoyed the trumpian twitter hashtag.

    I hope you’ll visit my most recent post, which I felt compelled to write because I think the topic is important, though it took me well out of my comfort zone.

    Take care.

  5. David Redpath said,

    This may be of interest to you, Chris.
    When I last conversed with Queen Elizabeth,
    over Early Grey tea & cucumber sandwiches,
    Her Highness referred to President Erdoğan
    as an “Anus Horribilis”.
    In confidence of course 😎

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, very much a royal prophecy on what would happen to Erdogan’s anus the day after the night of the Super Worm Moon and Theodora’s Byzantine Turkish Delight wormachino.

  6. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    Ring worm and tape worm?
    Oh dear god … worse case of sickness.
    But, no one gets the book worm, either.
    Now, that is a another brilliant case of sickness.
    A sort of an addiction for tree lovers, who would sink their head deeper between the creases of books and leaving traces of spitting coffee all over.
    And some ketchup!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTFLMFAO , Sherry! 😂

      I guess that’s what will happen to book lovers the day all my vampire novels are published in book form.

      Instead of spitting up coffee and ketchup all over their PC, laptop, tablet and smart phone screens, they’ll be doing it over the pages of their books. 😄

  7. Hours Productions Film Studios said,

    Very nice read my friend. Thank you for stopping by my blog.

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