Robert Mueller, Interpol’s Mulder and The Red Dragon Banner

March 23, 2019 at 10:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Yesterday U.S. Special Counsel Robert Mueller had presented his report on possible Russian state-Trump campaign collusion to the U.S. Attorney-General’s Department.

Now both the Trump White House and Democrats in the U.S. Congress were anxious to get their hands on the report.

As such, both the Norse trickster god Loki and the native American indigenous trickster spirit Coyote had joined forces and were working overtime to ensure that the words and conclusions of the copy of the Mueller report that Donald Trump received were vastly different from the words and conclusions of the copy of the Mueller report that Sen. Chuck Schumer and Rep. Nancy Pelosi received.

As such when all the parties issued their respective tweets and press conferences on the subject, that should really set off fireworks all around.

CNN, The Washington Post and The New York Times would accuse Trump of lying and misrepresenting the report.

And Fox News, Breitbart and The National Enquirer would accuse Schumer and Pelosi of lying and misrepresenting the report.

And both the National Rifle Association and Planned Parenthood would issue statements that no killings whatsoever happen in America.

And Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping and Kim Jong-un would hold an emergency summit in which the 3 leaders would come to the conclusion that the United States of America as a whole was collectively insane and possibly should be collectively euthanized for the sake of planet Earth.

. . .

Peter Whitstable was the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

In his investigation of all things paranormal and occult, it had come to his attention that the singer Beyonce might possibly be descended from Marie Laveau the famous Voodoo Queen of New Orleans.

And as Whitstable sat in The Blue Lantern Chinese Restaurant in Los Angeles – an historic landmark famous because an LA private eye had once made out with an LA high society debutante in public in the booth right next to the Smiling Buddha there (the story was the Buddha’s smile grew even wider after he had watched the encounter) back in 1941- he noticed Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z enter the restaurant.

This was Whitstable’s chance to ask the singer in person.

“Excuse me, Miss Beyonce,” he approached the beautiful musical superstar, “I was wondering if you could tell me if you’re descended from Marie Laveau the Voodoo Queen of New Orleans.”

As Jay-Z scowled, Beyonce raised her right foot and with her spiked stiletto high-heeled shoe kicked the Interpol operative right out the door.

Former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger who was sitting at the table facing the Smiling Buddha swore that the Smiling Buddha’s smile grew wider yet again at the sight of the singer’s slit skirted and black silk pantyhose kick.

. . .

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was in Jerusalem.

As he had been wrestling in bed with the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis for control of Maximilien Robespierre’s little black book in a New York City apartment back in 1939, his pet blue eyed white wolf had grabbed the book in its jaws and brought it to this current year of 2019.

The book contained a prophecy given by a clairvoyant prostitute (who had once dressed up as the Goddess of Reason in a worship ceremony held in Notre Dame Cathedral shortly after the French Revolution) that Robespierre had written down in the book.

The prophecy was about the Golan Heights in the year 2019.

The prophecy said that “the blood of the giant progeny of the Nephilim to be found in the ground below the Heights would bring great wealth to those who owned it”.

And of course Donald Trump had just recognized Israeli sovereignty over the Golan Heights.

And the company that had been given exclusive drilling rights to the oil and gas underneath the Golan Heights was a company called Genie Energy.

Genie of course was the English equivalent of djinn in Islamic tradition – supernatural entities created out of “smokeless fire” who are able to eat and drink and also have children like humans but were much faster and stronger than humans.

Some scholars wondered whether the djinn were not the same as the Nephilim -supernatural Watchers of planet Earth – who were mentioned in Genesis Chapter 6 and the 1st Book of Enoch.

Sitting on the Board of Advisors of Genie Energy were such notables as Baron Jacob Rothschild, former Vice-President Dick Cheney, Rupert Murdoch, former Energy Secretary Bill Richardson and Ira Greenstein (a close business associate of Jared Kushner’s family) who was the former President of Genie Energy as well as a former legal advisor to President Donald Trump.

Van Helsing was in Jerusalem to check out the claims.

He had with him in his hotel room the Red Dragon Banner a special dragon standard flag (that sported a scarlet red dragon against a black background) that had belonged to his ancestor King Arthur.

The dragon was able to miraculously breathe fire in battle when called upon.

Van Helsing figured it might be needed in these times.

The Canadian vampire hunter was in a Jerusalem warehouse there to meet with a woman who was a direct descendant of the Queen of Sheba and King Solomon.

When he saw her, Van Helsing’s smile was wider than that of the Smiling Buddha in the Blue Lantern Chinese Restaurant in Los Angeles.

A woman who was the direct descendant of the Queen of Sheba.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 23rd


  1. David Redpath said,

    “No collusion with the Queen of Sheba!”
    ~ King Solomon (Subject of a Witch Hunt)

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I imagine since there was no Internet in King Solomon’s day and the High Priest found him not guilty of collusion with the Queen of Sheba, he went out to his palace garden to tell the birds in the trees about it and one of his talking birds replied, “Who gives a tweet?”.

      • David Redpath said,

        I’m sure all the birds 🐦 and all the bees 🐝
        loved the Songs of Solomon 😎

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed they did.

        One of Solomon’s harpists and court musicians composed the original version of,

        “Birds do it, bees do it,
        even dogs and trees do it.”


      • David Redpath said,

        Those Hebrews sure knew how to put on
        a stage musical. The Absalom Follies are
        still talked about today amongst Rabbinical
        theatre critic circles.

  2. David Redpath said,

    I was just looking at a map of the Old Kingdom, and it very clear that the Golan Heights, just south of Phoenicia, are well within Judea. Don’t know what all the fuss
    is about? It’s not like Putin annexing Crimea!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes which Kruschev (of Ukrainian background) gave to Ukraine from Russia in 1954.

      60 years of sovereignty under Ukraine and then Russia taking it back is a crime.

      Israel not existing as a nation since 63 BC (when the bad Pompeo arrived on the scene to quote Benjamin Netanyahu) until its re-birth in 1948 AD definitely entitles Israel to all the glory of its Solomonic kindgom.

      Besides the good Pompeo named Mike (again to quote Benjamin Netanyahu) said it’s perfectly okay.

      And of course the good Pompeo named Mike referred to Donald Trump as the new Queen Esther.

      It’s a good thing for the good Pompeo that his boss’ IQ is not as high as his boss likes to brag about in his tweets or his boss would realize that the good Pompeo is calling him a “Persian Jewish drag queen”.

      • David Redpath said,

        And according to some biblical scholars,
        a fictional character, as they can’t find any
        record of a King Ahasuerus. But, as all fans
        Gerard Butler, and those heroic 300 dead
        Spartans should know, it was King Xerxes 1
        all along.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, as the Spartan equivalent of Sherlock Holmes unveiled to the Spartan equivalent of Doctor Watson who the great would-be Persian conquerer was, he said, “Aha, Xerxes!”.

        And the Spartan equivalent of Dr. Watson eventually married a nice Jewish girl and one of their descendants was a rabbi who helped translate the Greek Septuagint in Alexandria.

        Coincidentally the rabbi who was selected to translate the Book of Esther.

        And when it came to the name, he fell back to the old family story of “Aha, Xerxes!” and translated it as one word – Ahasuerus- not exactly putting the letters in the right place as he suffered from dyslexia.

      • David Redpath said,

        You’ve got, by George!
        That should put those blasphemous, second
        class, erroneous, felonious, heinous, doubting

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


        It’s time to give the heirs of 19th Century German theology and so-called higher Biblical criticism the raspberry they so richly deserve.

      • David Redpath said,

        … theologians in their place.
        Just like Hanan when he failed to have all the Jews in Persia exterminated (seems to
        be a common theme throughout history?),
        and his plans backfired (that also seems to
        happen repeatedly. Perhaps some modern
        Persian despots should take note?).

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Somehow I don’t think modern Persian despots will take note.

  3. David Redpath said,

    Haman, of course. Typo😎

  4. David Redpath said,

    Haman did get to hang around πŸ˜„

  5. shΡ”rrΓ­Ρ” dΡ” vΞ±lΡ”rΓ­Ξ± said,

    All of this political reasons and corruptions, that is why in the midst of chaos, Kim knew what he sends in to the US and made them a fool by using the influence of their K-Pop band. So, that the younger generation will be totally brainwashed and they will defend the arts more than they will supports their leaders. All are tyrants …

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, K-Pop is certainly popular in the U.S. and Canada.

      So when Psy (who looks a lot like Kim Jong-un) came out with his K-Pop music video Gangnam Style back in 2012, that marked the beginning of Kim’s brainwashing of North America.

      And Canada elected a pot smoking Prime Minister and the U.S. elected a toupee wearing bozo.

  6. Jessica said,

    I’m dumb as a rock when it comes to politics but I’m truly enjoying this 😁

    Beyonce as Voodoo Queen’s descendant πŸ˜‚ I expected her to dig her stiletto in his foot. But out of the door is fine… and woah Arnold keep your eyes where it belongs! πŸ˜€

    Oh wrestling… who won? Obviously Van Helsing right? Love his wolf pet ❀
    And that ending…sigh. When will Van Helsing ever stop and look at one woman only?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Glad that you’re enjoying this. πŸ™‚

      Yes, Beyonce as a voodoo queen’s descendant- that would really rock thr world. πŸ˜‚

      Yes, Van Helsing won the wrestling match and his pet wolf says thank you. πŸ˜€

      I guess Van Helsing needs to be slapped around so he’ll look at one woman only. πŸ˜€

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