Athena and Dracul In Edinburgh

March 28, 2019 at 9:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, love, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

“And so how are your travels across the annals of time going?” The Greek goddess Athena asked Dracul Van Helsing as he stoked the fires in the Edinburgh hotel room they were in.

“Well, last night I was in Havana Cuba in 1956 and I saw Pat Nixon’s Rockefeller bought mink coat won in a card game in a U.S. Mafia owned casino,” Van Helsing answered.

“My owl tells me that you spent quite the enchanted evening with Isabel Esmeronde the Cuban singer extraordinaire who won that card game,” Athena looked accusingly at Van Helsing.

“Your owl is quite the time traveling spy,” Van Helsing lit a cigarette.

“He is,” Athena acknowledged.

“And now he’s flying around the British House of Commons as the Brexit fracas is going on,” Van Helsing looked at the TV screen which showed an owl caught in the Speaker’s hair.

“He finds human follies and foibles quite amusing,” Athena helped herself to some grapes.

“I see you’re in touch with the Scottish independence movement should Brexit go ahead,” Van Helsing sat down on the sofa.

“They don’t call Edinburgh the Athens of the North for nothing,” Athena smoothed her dress.

“And you’re looking after the Athens of the North?” Van Helsing thought of the Grecian columns of the National Monument on Calton Hill.

“I am,” Athena nodded, “My father’s Kraken is now swimming in the North Sea.”

Van Helsing in his mind pictured Liam Neeson as Zeus saying “Release the Kraken!” and Mel Gibson as William Wallace standing on a cliff above the sea and shouting “I am William Wallace!”.

He wondered who would win that battle.

“I hear you shot and killed your time traveling adversary the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire Franz Kohler with a silver bullet,” Athena smiled.

“I did,” Van Helsing took a sip of his Scotch, “Unfortunately the immortal Egyptian priest scientist Imhotep brought him back from the dead and so he’s once again Undead.”

“And Imhotep seems to have the backing of the Egyptian god Thoth for whatever reason,” Athena rubbed her lip in thought.

“He appears to,” Van Helsing acknowledged.

“And with the secret diary of Solomon in your possession, you enter into the machinations of gods and goddesses,” Athena looked at the Canadian vampire hunter.

Van Helsing put down his Scotch, “I wasn’t aware you knew of that diary’s existence. I guess Solomon’s secret diary isn’t as secret as I thought.”

“As the Greek goddess of wisdom, I appreciated the wisdom of Solomon,” Athena stood up, “so of course I knew of his diary’s existence.”

Van Helsing stood up.

“The sun is setting,” the vampire hunter looked out the window.

In the distance, the Union Jack could be seen flying along Scotland’s national flag.

“I’d appreciate a kiss before bedtime,” Athena licked her lips.

And lips of Greek goddess and vampire hunter touched.

Followed by embracing of arms.

Miles away in the North Sea, the Kraken swam.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 28th


  1. Hyperion said,

    Another first rate story of the machinations behind the machinations. The owl caught up in the speaker’s hair forced an involuntary guffaw at the vision in my head. The back and forth with Athena and DVH was amusing as well. That Athena is a sharp lady and she knows when to use her lips to close a discussion. I suppose the Kraken swimming north is a great metaphor for staining one’s blue dress.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTLMFAO !

      Yes, that’s right.

      The Kraken swimming north – A metaphor for staining one’s blue dress. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        Ha ha ha ha ha! This made my day. I’m desparately behind in my reading but I do have the rest my of my life to catch up. 🤔 be checking back for more geopolitical entertainment.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        More geopolitical laughs on the way. 😃

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m always up for it. I noticed Teresa May is in desparate need of a Renfieldian solution to break her ties with the old Axis powers. Those iron claws dig deep, eh!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Renfield will have to consult Churchill’s cigar smoking and brandy drinking ghost on the best way to remove the Prussian eagle’s iron claws and finally sink the Bismarck to the bottom of the sea.

      • Hyperion said,

        The Germans found an easier way to conquer Britain. Just ask them to join the EU and when they want a divorce, take half their national wealth. That way the feeling of being humped in the royal bum never goes away.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And that’s why the British and the French always used to refer to sodomy as the “German vice” in the first half of the 20th Century.

        Before it became politically incorrect to label it a vice.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaaa haaaa haaaaa! It was rumored that Baron Von Steuben who hired on with the American revolutionaries under George “cherry popper” Washington to train the American Army was a flaming queen that loved a tender drummer boy and thus the American Army some 300 odd years later is the first Army to provide free transexual accomodations and health care to include sex reassignment surgery. This has caused several incidents of foriegn soliders having heart attacks in the showers of joint operation bases when they discover that all American girls have penises larger than their own. It’s really all a misunderstanding but the Germans seem to be quite happy with our progress. Finally, we Americans are meeting German standards. AOC is drafting a plan that requires the Army to deduct a tax from every family of a military service member to pay for better fitting and more fashionable clothes to include popular pastels so soldiers won’t feel uncomfortable on the battlefield in those ill fitting camouflage pants and shirts.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        AOC is hoping to do to America through taxes what the Germans are hoping to do to Britain through the Brexit divorce deal.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, I think we need to send Sherrielock to visit AOC and possibly tomato some sense into her buns.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And just think of the enormous number of views that video will get on Instagram and Facebook. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        I think that scene might just break the internet. A lot of democrats are beginning to recognize the benefits of spanking AOC in order to eliminate all the evil spirits that inhabit her mind and cause awful things to pop out of her mouth.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The only thing that hasn’t popped out of her mouth yet is Bill Clinton’s phallus.

      • Hyperion said,

        Old Bill doesn’t move as fast as he used to, but don’t give up on him yet. I’ll bet ole Butt-Squeezer Biden is making his way down the isle to great her.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And then Biden will issue a statement, “I have never ever made a move that could be considered inappropriate or of a harassing nature as far as I’m concerned.”

      • Hyperion said,

        And later after MeToo goes after HimToo, he’ll confess that his penis is a Republican and always has it’s head up someone else’s bootie. The Democratic congress will pass a law forbiding bipartisan penises entry into booties not affiliated with the Republican party and each Bipartisan penis must wear a tracking collar at all times. Of coarse, by this time ole Bootie Bumper Biden will be president and AOC will have a sore bootie over that.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And in the pouring rain, it’s always a good thing to put your booties on.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes and always blouse your britches outside your bootie so it doesn’t fill up.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  2. annieasksyou said,

    Ah, while they embraced, the Kraken swam. Poor Kraken, undoubtedly wishing for an embrace of his own…

  3. Judy Eun Kyung Kim said,

    Love the mention of Liam’s “Release the Kraken!”😄

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That was a great line. 😃

      • Judy Eun Kyung Kim said,

        It was so perfectly cheesy, I miss Laurence Olivier as Zeus🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Olivier was great in all his roles from Hamlet to Heathcliff to Zeus. ☺

      • Judy Eun Kyung Kim said,

        He was jealous of Marilyn Monroe🙂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I didn’t know he was jealous of Marilyn Monroe.

        That must have made for an interesting situation on the set of The Prince and The Showgirl.

      • Judy Eun Kyung Kim said,

        Yes that’s the film, they were in. she was always late, forgot her lines etc and he was frustrated with her and her charisma, how the camera loved her. He was a Shakespearean stage actor, she was a movie star, I think he felt both superior and jealous of her natural talent.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, charisma is a very mysterious phenomenon.

        I remember there was an old saying that summed it up,

        “Marilyn Monroe had it. Jayne Mansfield didn’t.
        Joe DiMaggio had it. Mickey Mantle didn’t.
        John F. Kennedy had it. Adlai Stephenson didn’t.”

  4. velvetscreams said,

    I really enjoyed this and it got me laughing at some point😁

  5. Jessica said,

    I knew it! That’s why Van Helsing being there watching the singer in 1956 was suspicious.

    I’ll put my bet on Kraken since I don’t know much about sir Wallace. Sorry.

    That ending is somehow romantic… oh come on! Van Helsing is a tease. He gives romance a bad name, you cleaver playboy.

    • Jessica said,

      Oops! I meant “clever”… me mumbles… but then again cleaver kind of appeal now 😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, you’d like to use the cleaver on the clever playboy. 😂

      • Jessica said,

        It did cross my mind. Just a tiny bit. 😂

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Van Helsing definitely gives romance a bad name. 🤔

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