Asmodeus In London

April 22, 2019 at 10:30 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The heavy cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus was in London, England having lunch with his compatriots the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith and her little green frog companion Nimrod (who was the Nimrod of Book of Genesis fame reduced to an amphibian).

“Has there been a revival of Eostre worship in this day and age?” Asmodeus asked Lilith.

Eostre was the name of an Anglo-Saxon goddess worshipped by Anglo-Saxons in England.

The early medieval English Church historian Bede had mentioned in his 8th Century manuscript The Reckoning of Time that during the month of Eosturmonabp (the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of the Roman month of April), the pagan Anglo-Saxons had held feasts in Eostre’s honour but during Bede’s time, this had been replaced by the Christian Paschal month a celebration of the resurrection of Jesus.

Tales associated with the Anglo-Saxon goddess Eostre included bunny rabbits laying eggs.

As The Guardian Newspaper writer and former Catholic Herald editor Peter Stanford ate a chocolate covered Baphomet at a table sitting across from them, Nimrod noticed on the television in the restaurant a news story about a woman telling Pope Francis that she had seven children.

Pope Francis admonished the woman that one shouldn’t go around breeding like rabbits.

At that point, a giant bunny rabbit hopped by in Saint Peter’s Square and laid a rainbow coloured egg on top of the Pope’s head.

Peter Stanford started choking on his chocolate covered Baphomet.

“I hadn’t heard there was a revival in Eostre worship?” Lilith looked perplexed, “Why do you ask?”.

“Well, there were headlines on both ABC News and The Washington Post that Tourists, Easter worshippers lament closing of Notre Dame. Then after the attack on churches and western tourist hotels in Sri Lanka that killed at least 290 people and injured 500 others, Barack Obama tweeted, The attack on tourists and Easter worshippers in Sri Lanka are an attack on humanity. And Hillary Clinton tweeted, I’m praying for everyone affected by today’s horrific attack on Easter worshippers and travellers in Sri Lanka. And Fox News talked about the attack on Easter worshippers in Sri Lanka that left so many dead. I was wondering with all these references to Easter worshippers if the worship of Eostre had been revived.”

“Well, you as a demon can’t mention aloud the Name of Jesus Christ can you?” Lilith smiled.

Asmodeus struggled to say the name but eventually gave up.

“Well, just like you as a demon can’t say the name of Jesus Christ, the Vatican’s chief exorcist for so many years Father Gabriel Amorth (who definitely had a 24/7 full time job performing exorcisms at the Vatican) noted that mortals who are under demonic influences likewise have trouble saying the name Jesus Christ. So since the term Christian has Christ in it, no doubt ABC News, The Washington Post, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Fox News can’t bring themselves to say that Christians were killed in the bombings so they use the term Easter worshippers instead.”

Peter Stanford who seemed to be having a wrestling match with his chocolate covered Baphomet quickly left the restaurant.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 22nd
2019.

10 Comments

  1. velvetscreams said,

    Dearest dracul, im always left wondering how you write so great. 😊

  2. George F. said,

    I agree with velvet. And so consistent.

  3. Hyperion said,

    What Velvet and George said! This was another prophesy, I’m sure. While I found the story educating of history, I also snort laughed my lunch right out of my nose reading about the chocolate baphomet and the Eostre Bunny laying a rainbow egg on the Pope’s head. The poor besieged exorcist at the Vatican could use a vampiress or two to help out. But where my blood ran cold was the very astute sidestepping of Christianity by the various Easter worshipper tweeters aptly named. I suspect chocolate baphomets may give the chocolate bunny market a serious run for the money.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, the poor Vatican exorcist could definitely use the help of several vampiresses and a few of Sherrielock’s dominatrix associates. 😂

      Yes, I suspect chocolate Baphomets will definitely start outselling chocolate bunnies given the popularity of Netflix’s The New Adventures of Sabrina TV series in which the Baphomet is presented as such a jolly good fellow.

      And the pronouncements of Alyssa Milano the witch high priestess of Hollywood going around throwing her dark magic hexes and curses much to the delight of those in the entertainment industry, the news media and the Left wing of the Democratic Party (which seems to be most of the Democratic Party these days).

      • Hyperion said,

        Wouldn’t it be nice to see Sherrylock Holmes enlist a brigade of her fellow domi’s and then set about disciplining the Vatican and government officials across the globe in a concentrated effort to whip some sense in those droopy dullwitted booties.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It would be a great thing for humanity if Sherrielock could do that. 👍

  4. Jessica said,

    I know it’s a lame comment but I have to say it. Great read, enjoyed this one.

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