Thailand’s King Vajiralongkorn Marries His Bodyguard Making Her Queen

May 2, 2019 at 8:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

In an effort to get British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield out of the United Kingdom while she embarked on the next round of Brexit negotiations, British Prime Minister Theresa May had sent Renfield on a diplomatic mission to Thailand on behalf of the British government.

Thanks to a prophetic vision seen by Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster at Set Enterprises, Renfield discovered that Thai King Maha Vajiralongkorn also known by the title King Rama X would be marrying his bodyguard and royal consort General Sutidha Vajiralongkorn Na Ayudha in a surprise wedding ceremony yesterday.

In 2014, King Vajiralongkorn had appointed Sutidha Tijai, a former flight attendant for Thai Airways, as the deputy commander of his bodyguard unit. He made her a full general in the Thai Army in December 2016.

Renfield brought along wedding gifts for the couple- a croquet set once owned by Britain’s King George V for His Majesty King Maha Vajiralongkorn and a silver tea service once owned by King George V’s wife Queen Mary for Her Majesty Queen Sutidha.

Upon hearing of Renfield’s gift, a Thai cabinet minister had invited Renfield to play croquet today at his private garden and croquet court.

Renfield knew nothing whatsoever of playing croquet of course.

So needless to say, the Thai cabinet minister won the match by an overwhelming score.

However on the plus side, Renfield’s ineptness in thinking that he was playing cricket rather than croquet did knock out the entire coterie of Russian spies who had been sent to spy on the British politician by Vladimir Putin (who considered the British MP a major nuisance).

The balls went over the cabinet minister’s estate wall and by coincidental good fortune, struck all of them on the side of the head knocking them out cold.

As Putin sat in his office, he wondered to himself why he wasn’t getting an update from his operatives on what Renfield was currently doing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 2nd


  1. David Redpath said,

    So royally romantic, Dracul.
    Kind of reminds me of a musical . . .
    (I only hope it doesn’t end in disaster)

    “🎢He is pleased with me!
    My Lord and Master
    Declares that he’s pleased with me,
    What does he mean?
    What does he know of me,
    This lord and master?
    When he has looked at me
    What has he seen?
    Something young
    Soft and slim,
    Painted cheek,
    Tap’ring limb,
    Smiling lips
    All for him,
    Eyes that shine
    Just for him,
    So he thinks
    Just for him!
    Though the man may be
    My Lord and Master,
    Though he may study me
    As hard as he can,
    The smile beneath my smile
    He’ll never see
    He’ll never know
    I love another man
    He’ll never know
    I love another man 🎢”

  2. Jessica said,

    I’m confused. Is this news or your fiction?

    • Jessica said,

      Nope, nevermind Dracul, I see that other bloggers are posting about it too haha πŸ˜€

      This sounds like a Cinderella twist! Except she seemed to have worked hard to earn it. No offense to Cinderella fans out there, but the fairytale annoyed me.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        From what I’ve read about her, Queen Sutidha of Thailand is quite a remarkable woman.

        She didn’t get to where she is now just by misplacing a glass shoe at a palace ball.

      • Jessica said,

        Oops sorry for multiple likes. But gosh, I love how you said that!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thank you. ☺

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      A combination of both actually.

      I often incorporate news and current events into my vampire novels.

      That’s why I as an author don’t know how my tales will unfold as much as the reader does since I have no idea how current events will turn out. πŸ˜„

      It’s an interesting challenge I’ve given myself but as my dad once told me, I manage to find a way to do it.

      There used to be a daily comic strip in North America called Doonesbury done by a cartoonist named Trudeau who also took current events and incorporated them into his comic strip storyline.

      I suspect my vampire novel writing was greatly influenced by his comic strip. πŸ˜„

      • Jessica said,

        Hmm… interesting. So that’s why “The Vampiress With Amnesia” sounds realistic in some aspect. Haha πŸ˜€ looking forward to finishing it. Too bad I got so little time reserve for reading.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oh, you purchased a copy of The Vampiress With Amnesia? πŸ˜ƒ

        Thanks very much. 😊

        I sure appreciate that. 😊

      • Jessica said,

        Blush. Sorry, I got it because of KU but I’ll buy the paperback later.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      • Jessica said,

        It stands for Kindle Unlimited. From what I know Amazon pays the author for each page the reader reads…

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oh yeah, Kindle Unlimited.

        I think I remember when I published my book, they asked me on the form, Did I want my book in the Kindle Unlimited lending library?

        They did say something to that effect about royalties so I checked yes.

        Thanks for reading my book. ☺

        Hope you’re enjoying what I wrote so far. πŸ˜ƒ

      • Jessica said,

        Oh I do! ❀️ But if I get bored I’ll go ahead and send rocks at your doorstep. πŸ™ƒ Joke! I’m having fun reading it for now.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      For some reason, my reply to this question appeared below my comment to your next comment.

  3. velvetscreams said,

    This is such a great post!

  4. Hyperion said,

    I think I snort laughed picturing Renfield taking a swing at the ball and knocking out Putin’s finest string of Russ Viking Operatives. I’m reminded of my favorite detective Clouseau, The Pink Panther.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Ah yes, Inspector Clouseau, of whom the best was Peter Sellers.

      I ‘ve always loved Clouseau’s classic line, “I am Inspector Clouseau. And that is the reason why I have always failed where others have succeeded.”

      • Hyperion said,

        ROFLMAO 🀣. Peter Sellers was the best. I still laugh thinking about some of his antics.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The Sellers Clouseau movies very much influenced my teen-aged years.

        Which explains why I turned out the way I did. πŸ˜‚

      • Hyperion said,

        I think in this part of our lives we share the same basis for how we turned out. I would not miss a Peter Sellers Pink Panther movie. After he moved on to greater parts in bigger movies, I stuck with him. It was a wise decision. But, The Pink Panther was never the same.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Peter Sellers WAS Clouseau. πŸ‘

      • Hyperion said,

        I deed he was and everything after was a cheap imitation.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Steve Martin should have stayed with the private eye character in Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid and played William Wallace’s sidekick in Braveheart.

      • Hyperion said,

        That would have made Scottish history much more entertaining.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And if something under his kilt was as big as his nose in the movie Roxanne (in which Daryl Hannah was his co-star), he could definitely have hammered home a message to England’s Edward I the Hammer of The Scots.

        Something of which would have been included as an illustration in Putin’s Guidebook On How To Handle Donald Trump.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think in these modern libertine times, those Medieval ways of hammering home the royal message would be wildly celibrated as the perfect way to make one’s point in any political discussion where opposing views made it impossible to come to and aggreement. The conversations would become more clearly understood, NO NO NO NOOOO OOOOH OH OH YES YES YES!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The ultimate reality television for the modern age… where politics and pornography become one.

        Politicians are always accused of screwing people.

        This will be the ultimate synthesis… where the metaphorical and the literal become one.

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m sure it would develop a cult following like Rocky Horror Pictureshow

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And more than rice would be being thrown at theatre showings.

      • Hyperion said,

        I suspect the rise in Butt Piracy πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ is somehow related. Rumor has it that the liberal Socialist Democratic party of America has uncovered a plot for the GOO to tweet himself Emperor for Life and refuse to move out of the Oval Orifice after his humiliating defeat in the 2020 elections. Meanwhile Fancy Piglosi is having breast reduction surgery because all of her running up and down the halls screaming off with his head has led to her breasts severly bruising her knees. I can’t imagine the horror for poor Michelangelo the psychic lobster when he sees that vision. 🀒

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTFLMFAO, Daniel. πŸ˜‚

        Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster would definitely be spewing forth the vomit of the ages if he saw that vision.

      • Hyperion said,

        Ha ha ha! I know I got a bad case of gas after writing that comment.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


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