Ghost of Orson Welles Meets Belvedere In Istanbul

May 6, 2019 at 9:40 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The ghost of Orson Welles was sitting in a cafe in Istanbul.

He had been told by a Russian spy beluga whale whom he had helped to defect to Norway this past weekend that the lovely mermaid Miranda when swimming through the Bosphorus Strait would often shapeshift into full human form and visit the Marmara Cafe in downtown Istanbul of which she loved the Turkish coffee being served there.

Welles could never recall meeting an actual mermaid in his past mortal life or current ghostly life so he decided to come to Istanbul and visit the Marmara Cafe on the off chance that he might meet Miranda.

Welles sat at a back table in the corner of the cafe and sipped a glass of spectral red wine occasionally glancing at the entrance to see if any woman who might be a mermaid in full human form came walking through the door.

He recited William Butler Yeats’ Sailing To Byzantium as he sat,

“… And therefore have I sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium. ”

“Orson!” A voice shouted from the doorway.

It was the voice of Belvedere the ghost of a ghost white salamander.

Belvedere had been human but back in the mid-1880s in the American Wild West had been turned into a ghost white salamander through an ancient Egyptian spell cast by a gypsy woman who worked in the Wild West saloon where he worked as a bartender.

He became the ghost of a ghost white salamander when he crawled outside and was run over by a settlers’ ox cart heading west.

The first and last time Belvedere saw Welles was back in October 1938 just prior to the then Boy Wonder delivering his famous Halloween War of The Worlds broadcast.

“Belvedere,” the ghost of Orson Welles lit a spectral cigar, “Long time no see.”

“I see we’re both ghosts now,” Belvedere sat across from the spectral cinematic talent.

“Such are the ravages of time,” Welles blew rosebud shaped smoke rings, “unless we be vampires, vampiresses, gods, goddesses or immortal dominatrixes who have eaten just the right amount of Lingzhi supernatural mushrooms, we must all succumb to the hands of the scythe wielding spectre Death there to see our flesh melt and our bones turned to dust and our spirits wandering earth, purgatory or paradise until such time as our bodies and souls are reunited into a new transformed whole on the Day of Judgment.”

“Eloquent as ever, my friend,” Belvedere was impressed.

“So, what are you doing these days?” Welles sipped his wine, “What brings you to Istanbul?”.

“I am now a reporter for The Times of London,” the ghost white salamander answered, “I’m here on assignment. Turkey’s chief electoral body has ordered that Istanbul’s local elections be re-held after President Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s Islamist AK Party lost to the opposition secularist CHP Party after a shock opposition victory this past March.”

“It is indeed a hatchet in the cake of dictatorship when the trappings of democracy come crashing down just as the cake is being wheeled into the banquet hall where Ottoman Sultans once dined and harem girls once danced,” Welles helped himself to spectral caviar and spread it on a spectral slice of bread.

“Erdogan is indeed upset about the whole thing,” Belvedere agreed, “He himself used to be Mayor of Istanbul many years ago.”

“Such is the power of the spirit of Byzantium,” Welles drank a toast, “that this city can survive the misrule of a petty despot such as Erdogan.”

“Istanbul’s new CHP Mayor Ekrem Imamoglu is confident that he can win again in the re-held election,” Belvedere remarked.

“Beware the sting of scorpions and the fangs of serpents,” Welles’ baritone voice shook the cafe, “for my friends who still fast in the fires of Purgatory inform me that Lady MacBeth’s ghost serves as an advisor to Erdogan.”

“Great Scot! And great Caesar’s ghost!” Belvedere’s ghostly white face turned even more ghostly white, “Lady MacBeth!”.

“Never was a Film Noir Femme Fatale more femme fatalish than Lady MacBeth as the Bard so adeptly captured her personality, soul and spirit in his Scottish Play,” Welles raised his finger in the air to capture the direction the Mid-East winds were blowing, “for she serves not only as advisor to Erdogan but advisor to Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman as well. Tantalizing both claimants to a future Caliphate. Playing one side against the other. Stringing both together as if playing on a harp whose strings are made of human sinews.”

Belvedere decided to change to a cheerier subject.

“Have you ever watched Game of Thrones?” Belvedere asked.

“I have never watched an episode in full,” Welles confessed, “I have watched segments of certain programs on YouTube.”

“What do you think?” Belvedere inquired.

“What do I think?” Welles lit another spectral cigar, inhaled and then exhaled smoke rings like dragons, “I think Game of Thrones captures what the world of Medieval Europe would have been like if there had been no figure of Christ at the center of the culture of Medieval Europe.”

“Really?” Belvedere pondered this thought.

“In such a Medieval Europe,” Welles took the final sip of what remained of his glass, “Every ruler would be able to say… we are all Lady MacBeth.”

As a woman in another corner of the cafe claimed to have just given birth to dragons, the ghost of Lady MacBeth entered the cafe’s entrance still carrying stains of blood on her spectral formerly mortal hands.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 6th 2019
Orson Welles’ 104th


  1. David Redpath said,

    Dracul, the streets of Istanbul seem to be
    littered with ghost! I’ve even had reports of
    T.E. Lawrence roaming the Turkish capital,
    dressed as an Arab shiek, seeking a military officer willing to give him a non-corporeal
    beating. Apparently he has no problem
    finding takers 😎

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      No, Lawrence’s ghost would have no problem finding takers.

      Seven pillars of wisdom would be applied to his buttocks times (x) manifold.

  2. George F. said,

    …” the sting of scorpions and the fangs of serpents…” I dig that imagery!

  3. Jessica said,

    It amaze me how well they blend in with humans. They’re even updated than me. Watching Game of Thrones haha 😀

  4. Judy Eun Kyung Kim said,

    I love the “spectral red wine” remember when he did those wine commercials?🙂

  5. annieasksyou said,

    And read by Annie on Tchaikovsky’s 179th birthday and Brahms’ 186th. Irrelevant to the multiple matters at hand, but worth mentioning a musical coincidence, I think.

    This one was a whirlwind, Christopher. Your collage overfloweth with wondrous details. I’m exhausted!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      An overflowing collage!

      I never thought I’d create one of those but glad to hear it.

      And a happy musical anniversary to you. 😃

  6. Hyperion said,

    In such scenes villainous strategies are born after a few spectral wines and harsh caliphate cigars. Winnie would have enjoyed a little face time with Lady Macbeth, I’m sure. Cigars and a spotted blue dress would have made an interesting tabloid story.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Winnie, it is said, was fond of quoting Shakespeare.

      I can picture Winnie saying to Lady MacBeth,

      Is this a pussy I see before me?
      Come let me clutch thee.

      And in the distance, someone calls out,

      A drum. A drum. MacBeth doth come.

      Meanwhile outside a Planned Parenthood clinic in Philadelphia as LGBTQ Democratic representative Brian Sims harasses a rosary praying grandmother, MacDuff drawing forth his sword outside the clinic shouts, “MacDuff was from his mother’s womb untimely ripped.”

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaaa haaaa haaaaa! A young GOO, his mother did labor hard, and upon the breeching moment did push forth with a mighty grunt. Across the room it flew with haste, and the wall was splattered with deficate. Hell rejoices, the GOO is born.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        A toupee hair flickers in the breeze
        Porn stars do not weaken at the knees
        All this comes to pass
        When the GOO is born…

      • Hyperion said,

        Political Buggery doth rise
        The sheeple have smartphone luster in their eyes
        While Fancy Piglosi turneth her cauldren a boil
        The Constitution, Bill of Rights, and Bible in the gravy of doom doth roil

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Sans brains
        Sans sense
        Sans eyes
        America dies.

      • Hyperion said,

        And in her place the whore of Babylon doth rise, and four riders, one upon a pale horse, soon ride.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Ride above the surging tide.

      • Hyperion said,

        A million libertine moons ablaze from Sherrylocks cat-o-nine

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And Joe Biden’s buttocks burn oh so sublime.

      • Hyperion said,

        While tickets to the ringside show sell in record time

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        While Putin observes and drinks tea with lime.

      • Hyperion said,

        And his trademark devilish naughty boy grin shines

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        As Orson Welles’ ghost drinks more timely wines.

      • Hyperion said,

        As Sherrielock eye’s Pootin’s unpolished behind

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        She unleashed a gold mine
        Ruby red cheeks looking fine.

      • Hyperion said,

        Sherrielock smiled at her newest tomatoed bootie
        She took pride in always doing her duty

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Her handiwork always a beauty.

      • Hyperion said,

        She like how the striped bootie reminded her of tuti fruiti

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oh, Rudy! 😎

      • Hyperion said,

        Tuti tuti tuti fruuuuuuuuity. Oh yeeeeessssss. Dang bro, we went from Shakespeare to old time rock n roll. Now that’s class right there. 😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And though a Helmut Trust might put up a fuss
        Being a sodomite through and through
        Another clown from the circus zoo
        We will continue from Shakespeare to old time rock
        As Elvis dangles his cod piece around the clock.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaa haaaa haaaaaa! Elvis and his codpiece rocking around the clock made me snort laugh and boogerize my screen. Can’t find my mushroom cleaner, eeewwwwww.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That does sound like an awful sight to behold.

        No wonder, the GOO has just declared a national emergency in regards to America’s computer networks.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think this could break the internet and give Michelangelo PTSD.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And inspire many to take up LSD.

      • Hyperion said,

        Grab a martini and snort some ecstasy

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And keel over from apoplexy.

      • Hyperion said,

        Watch the Kraken wiggle and squirm
        It’s a new dance called the Apoplectic Worm

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And he also does it when he gets sunburn.

      • Hyperion said,

        Now Belvedere the ghost of a ghost white salamander returns
        He has two margaritas in hand

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        But none of Belvedere’s margaritas are as lovely as Margarita Carmen Cansino (who acted on the Big Screen under the name Rita Hayworth) and was for a while in the 1940s married to Orson Welles.

        As Welles told Merv Griffin back in 1985 in the last interview he gave the night before he died, failing in his marriage to Rita Hayworth was probably the biggest regret of his life.

      • Hyperion said,

        I can see why he would regret her loss. She was a knockout as Jane with Johnny Wisemullet as Tarzan. No wonder he yodelled so much.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Bringing Switzerland to the jungle.

        I didn’t know that Rita Hayworth played Jane.

        I googled it but found no mention of it.

        It must be a lost film that we really need to find.

        We must ask Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster to locate it.

        He’ll find it just seconds before blowing up his lobster tank again as he catches a glimpse of Rita in her jungle mini dress.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, indeedy. With modern technology we were able to see that she did not wear any underclothes with her loincloth. It’s an endearing moment.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        My gosh ! 😮

        Michelangelo really will be blowing up his lobster tank. 😨

      • Hyperion said,

        I blew mine up. 😍💥

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTFL ! 😂

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: