Theodora and Varying Manners of Byzantine Intrigue

May 7, 2019 at 10:01 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

After lighting a candle to the Baphomet and the statue of Baal, Pennsylvania Democratic representative Brian Sims of Philadelphia went to bed.

After falling asleep, the Byzantine vampiress Theodora appeared in his bedroom and sprinkled him with Byzantine angel dust.

Sims then dreamed that he was a homosexual bishop back in the days of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian.

Justinian’s method of dealing with homosexual bishops was vastly different from that of Pope Francis.

His method was to castrate the bishops and then to have them paraded nude through the streets of Constantinople.

Instead of a “coming out” parade, it was a “coming off” parade.

Sims screamed as he slept.

He was not enjoying his dream.

Theodora smiled and laughed.

She was.

. . .

French President Emmanuel Macron was unhappy that Britain was going to be participating in European Parliament elections later this month since the Brits had failed yet another deadline to achieve Brexit.

He ate smoked oysters and downed champagne.

He then got on his iPhone and went to FaceTime.

British Prime Minister Theresa May was unhappy that Britain was going to be participating in European Parliament elections later this month since the Brits had failed yet another deadline to achieve Brexit.

She ate hot buttered biscuits and downed gin.

She then got on her iPhone and went to FaceTime.

May shrieked when she looked at her screen.

Emmanuel Macron was only wearing brief undershorts that were decorated with pink coloured daisies and that was it.

Macron shrieked when he looked at his screen.

Theresa May was only wearing hair curlers and that was it.

May gasped, “Emmanuel, we’ve got to stop FaceTiming like this.”

. . .

Miranda the mermaid had shapeshifted into full human form and was lying on the beach at Tel Aviv.

The Greek god Poseidon stepped up out of the ocean.

He had a large seashell to his ear since he was in a teleconferencing call with his brothers Zeus and Hades.

Poseidon ended the call and put the seashell in the back seat of his pants which were made out of seaweed.

“Miranda,” the Greek sea deity called out to the mermaid, “Did you know the ghost of Orson Welles is looking for you?”.

. . .

After filling the Baphomet and Baal worshipping Rep. Brian Sims of Philadelphia with the worst possible nightmares, the Byzantine vampiress Theodora returned to New York City for a nighttime modelling photo shoot.

Where an MI-6 spy operative code named Diablos Nocturna was waiting for her.

They spent a tantalizing evening of tantric sex afterwards.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 7th

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora: The stuff of nightmares to Baal and Baphomet worshippers.
But pleasant dreams to certain MI-6 operatives.


  1. George F. said,

    Coming off party sounds like true justice…and is it too late for me to join MI6?

  2. velvetscreams said,

    That evening must have been great and the thought of a homosexual bishop ๐Ÿ˜

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Velvet, it was a great evening. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

      There were a few homosexual bishops back in the days of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian but when Justinian found out about it, he dealt with them in the manner mentioned above.

      Sadly there are a few homosexual bishops in the Church in the U.S. and they have been involved in the cover-up in the sexual abuse scandal.

  3. Judy Eun Kyung Kim said,

    The seashell teleconference is so great๐Ÿ˜„

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you, Judy. โ˜บ

      Yes, the image entered my mind of Poseidon holding a sea shell to his ear the way some people hold their mobile phones to their ear and then talking into the sea shell instead of the phone.

      I decided that was an image worth incorporating into my story. ๐Ÿ˜‚

      • Judy Eun Kyung Kim said,

        That image came through in the writing, the word choice/old technology and image of the three god brothers one with a seashell phone was perfect.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


        That’s wonderful to hear. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: