The Kraken Napoleon VI In A Rome Taverna

May 9, 2019 at 9:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Kraken Napoleon VI and his wife Medusa were doing very well in the opinion polls for the EU Parliamentary elections in France.

There was a very good chance that both he and Medusa would be elected to the European Parliament in Strasbourg on behalf of the Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party.

French President Emmanuel Macron was already pulling his hair out at the news.

As the French President was on the phone to the Oval Office in Washington DC asking Donald Trump the name of a place where he did NOT buy his toupees, the Kraken Napoleon VI decided to take a break from the campaign trail and go for a short excursion to Rome.

Medusa herself would be hitting the roulette tables down in Monte Carlo.

After a day of sightseeing around Rome, the Kraken decided to pay a visit to a quiet Rome taverna and sample some good Italian wine.

When he entered through the taverna door, he noticed the ghost of Orson Welles sitting in a booth next to the statue of Venus.

“A lovely location you’ve chosen, Orson,” the Kraken sat across from the spirit he recognized as an advisor to his British Transhumanist political ally the British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“I did not choose this spot just to look at Venus’ lovely derriere contrary to what some might think,” Welles adjusted the hat on his head, “although a very lovely derriere it is. I do not want people mistaking me for Bill Clinton or Rev. Jesse Jackson enjoying Miss Ariana Grande’s most stellar performance at Aretha Franklin’s funeral last year. When I first sat down, that statue of Venus was dressed in furs. Venus in furs. But then the ghost of Baron Leopold von Sacher-Masoch entered the taverna and stole all the furs off Venus.”

“I’m sorry to have missed that,” the Kraken ordered 8 bottles of wine from the waiter.

“I hear you and Medusa are polling ahead of Macron’s party in the European Parliament elections,” Welles lit a spectral cigar.

“Yes, I’m pleased as punch about that,” the Kraken accepted a complimentary glass of punch from the taverna’s management.

Welles looked at a woman sitting at an adjacent table.

“That woman,” Welles continued to gaze in her direction, “looks a lot like Simone Simon.”

“The noted French actress?” The Kraken put on his monocle and looked in the woman’s direction.

“Yes, she was absolutely magnificent as the cat woman in the 1942 film The Cat People,” Welles recalled.

“Ever since I saw that film and saw that one particular scene, I’ve been reluctant to swim in a YWCA swimming pool ever since,” the Kraken recalled.

Just then a Vatican Cardinal entered the taverna and sat down.

Welles gazed at the Cardinal.

“You know,” Welles leaned over and whispered to the Kraken, “I’ve been told that Cardinal is a practicing satanist.”

Just then the woman who looked like Simone Simon shapeshifted into a black panther and went over and ripped the Cardinal to shreds leaving a tangled web of cardinal’s robes and spiralling pool of blood on the taverna floor.

The cat woman then left the taverna without paying her bill causing the waiter to have a major spaz attack and go running out into the streets chasing after the she beast.

“Well,” the Kraken looked at the cardinal’s hat floating on top of the pool of blood on the taverna floor, “It looks like Satan will have one less vote at the next papal conclave.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 9th
2019.

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66 Comments

  1. George F. said,

    Where does Trump not buy his toupees…love your little digs at are man in charge…

  2. Hyperion said,

    Wildly entertaining soirée into French politics. Loved the visuals as the waiter chases the cat woman for his pay. Satan losing voting constituents is not good for the Democratic Socialist Libertine movement in the former United States. Clearly the catwoman must have a secret stash of MAGA hats sent to her as the GOO attempts to swoop in for the grab.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      And the GOO will quickly discover that the cat woman is one pussy who has a wild animal trap within herself.

      The GOO may end up missing a few fingers or missing something else in its entirety. 😂

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