The Kraken Meets The Ghost of Orson Welles In Paris

May 23, 2019 at 9:14 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Voting in the European Parliament elections had begun today and would continue until May 26th.

The Kraken Napoleon VI, leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party, sat in the Quasimodo Cafe and calmly sipped Lemon Tea and dipped potato chips into Sour Cream and Onion Chip Dip as he awaited the first of the results to come in.

His wife Medusa the ex-Gorgon (who had been cured of her Gorgonism by Set Enterprises’ Chief Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher) sat calmly painting her fingernails a lovely Moulin Rouge.

The ghost of Orson Welles (who sat across from Medusa and the Kraken) recalled how his late former wife Rita Hayworth had once performed the Can Can (to the tune of Jacques Offenbach’s Orpheus In The Underworld) with her fingers while wearing a pair of black leather gloves.

The performance was considered too hot to handle and was not included in Miss Hayworth’s 1946 film Gilda.

“Johnny, be good,” an impromptu line spoken by Miss Hayworth was also edited out of the film.

“Did you ever consider running for political office when you were alive?” The Kraken asked Welles’ ghost.

“Well, Democratic Party organizers in Wisconsin the state of my birth did ask me to consider running as their candidate for the U.S. Senate in Wisconsin in 1946 but I declined,” Welles sipped a nice spectral glass of spectral red wine, “something that I regretted later as my Republican opponent would have been none other than Joe McCarthy. U.S. political history might have been different had I chosen to run.”

“There’s the Egyptian vampiress Isis,” Medusa spoke critically as the Egyptian vampiress walked through the door wearing a French flag tricoloured evening dress.

“Did you know Isis was the model for Frederic Auguste Bartholdi’s Statue of Liberty?” Welles recounted aloud some knowledge he had uncovered during his time spent in Purgatory.

“I’d heard that,” the Kraken ordered a cognac from the waiter.

“Isis is backing Emmanuel Macron’s party in the European Parliament elections,” Medusa’s voice dripped with contempt like a lethal dose of snake venom.

“I think Freemasons generally support the idea of a fully integrated European Union,” Welles lit a spectral cigar, “and since both Isis and Osiris are the prevalent deities worshipped in a lot of Masonic lodges around the world, it’s no surprise that Isis and the Masons would share a similar political viewpoint.”

“I still suspect our party will do well though,” the Kraken reached for 8 glasses of cognac with his 8 arms.

“I hear our ally across the Channel Renfield is doing well in most polls there,” Welles ordered a California wine much to the displeasure of the French waiter.

“He is,” the Kraken smiled, “I wonder how long he’ll be in the European Parliament before Brexit happens.”

“I imagine EU bureaucrats will be more sympathetic to the idea of a rapid Brexit to prevent Renfield from entering the European Parliament,” Welles brushed cigar ash out of his ghostly beard.

“I hear,” Medusa changed the subject, “that Prince Harry and Meghan the Duchess of Sussex were considering asking Renfield to be their son Archie Harrison’s godfather but that the Prince of Wales is strongly opposed to the idea.”

“That I heard as well,” Welles reached for the glass of Paul Masson Wine which was sold before its time, “and the Prince of Wales might have a point. Renfield could easily become the Falstaff to young Archie’s Prince Hal.”

On the other side of the cafe, the vampiress Isis ordered a Singapore Sling as she too waited for the first of the European Parliament election results.

Meanwhile in a Paris cinema, the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was attending a large screen repertory showing of the 1942 film classic Casablanca.

Suddenly appearing on the screen in front of him was a scene he hadn’t recalled seeing before.

That’s because the black and white scene wasn’t part of the movie Casablanca.

It was the Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis beckoning to him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 23rd


  1. annieasksyou said,

    So guess what! The NY Times came with a special “ Advertisement” supplement dated Friday, May 24, 2019, called “The End Times.” It’s a glossy 4-page insert advertising an Amazon Original: Good Omens (with a halo over the first o in Good and the M in Omens becoming a devil’s tale.)

    And page one features “Kraken Rises, Wears bost as hat,” accompanied by a photo showing just that.

    I felt this was important information for you to have, Christopher.😉

    • annieasksyou said,

      Forgive two typos: devil’s tail and boat, not bost! (The comment disappears as I’m typing so I can’t proof til it’s too late.)

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks for letting me know that, Annie. 😃

        I googled Amazon Original: Good Omens for more information.

        I see it was written by Neil Gaman.

        I’d never heard of Neil Gaman until the spring of 2014 when two women writers and bloggers who both live in Germany (one lives in a quiet Bavarian village and the other lives in Berlin) both told me in separate comments on different blog posts and independently of one another within the same week comments to the effect that they “had always wondered who my writing reminded them of” and both of them said without knowledge of what the other said “Neil Gaman”.

        In fact the woman in Berlin said that while my writing was very much like Neil Gaman’s, she thought it was even better than Neil Gaman’s.

        So I googled Neil Gaman and discovered that he was a best selling novelist.

        So I always meant to read one of his books and see if my style of writing was like his.

        But I never have as of this point in time.

      • annieasksyou said,

        So interesting! I guess this is another instance of that Jungian observation you cited re: synchronicity of minds—in multiples…

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that’s another example of synchronicity at work. 😃

  2. David Redpath said,

    That would be the scene from Casablanca
    where Humphrey Bogart actually says …
    “Play it again, Sam”.
    But does Atargatis end up singing to Van
    Helsing “🎶Do That To Me One More Time”?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      You must be taking psychic lessons from Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster, David. 😄

      Because that was exactly the scene where it occurred with Bogart saying “Play it again, Sam” and Atargatis singing to Dracul, “Do that to me one more time. I can never get enough of a man like you…”

      Or at least that’s what film goddesses such as Hedy Lamarr, Gene Tierney, Rita Hayworth and Linda Darnell say to me in my dreams anyways.

      • David Redpath said,

        The Sandman, it would seem,
        writes the best scripts!?
        Whether it’s a scene of seduction
        or creepy things crawling
        . . . out of a dark crypt 😱
        So, at night
        whilst cuddling your teddy
        best be prepared
        for a late night Hedy
        Worth a roll in the hay
        with Rita & Gene Tierney 😎

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Bravo! Bravo! 👏

        A brilliant poem. 😆

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