Trump Dances With Kim Jong-un On The Korean Border

June 30, 2019 at 10:41 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Trump Dances With Kim Jong-un On The Korean Border 

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was going to watch some news footage.

He would not be viewing the news footage on his smart phone or tablet or laptop as the old Egyptian deity had recently come down with a severe allergy to 21st Century technology.

His physician (who specialized in vampiric and other supernatural creature ailments) Dr. Henry Jekyll said that might be a good thing since it would make him less likely to accept the integrated Mark of the Beast system when the Antichrist took power on the world stage.

Set agreed that it might have its advantages.

So Set’s chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had arranged a Set Enterprises team to download news off the Net, put it over on to old fashioned film, wind it on to old fashioned film reels, put them on a film projector and then project the images from the film projector on to a white screen in a darkened room.

Set would currently be watching uncensored news footage (not generally available to most of the world’s population) of United States President Donald Trump meeting North Korean leader Kim Jong-un on the border between the two Koreas on the Korean Peninsula earlier today.

The film showed Trump waving to Kim Jong-un in the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone) between North and South Korea.

The two men shook hands.

Kim invited Trump to step over the northern DMZ line across the border into North Korea.

Trump stuck his left leg across the border into North Korea and began to sing, “You put your left foot in… ” (puts his left foot across the border), “you take your left foot out” (takes his left foot back into the DMZ), “you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about” (Trump spins around like an idiot while standing on his right leg alone as he shakes his left leg in the air as he spins around).

Mr. Trump then proceeded to do the same with his right foot, “You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out, you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about” all the while doing the accompanying actions and spins between the DMZ line and the North Korean border using a different leg and foot this time.

“Is the President of the United States actually doing what my eyes seem to suggest he’s doing?” Set asked his butler and valet Athelstan.

“I believe he is, sir,” Athelstan answered.

“Well this explains why they now allow people from other countries to perform on the show America’s Got Talent,” Set started to eat his hot buttered popcorn as he sat in his theatre seat.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher 
Sunday June 30th
2019.

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Countess Draculina On The Feast Day of Saints Peter and Paul

June 29, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Countess Draculina On The Feast Day of Saints Peter and Paul

The Dalai Lama recently found himself in trouble with the small penis male and large dildo lesbian blowhard SJWs (social justice warriors) on Twitter when he said that if his successor was female, she should be attractive.

British news media reached out to British MP Renfield R. Renfield for comment on the Dalai Lama’s remarks since the controversial MP could usually be relied on to make some politically incorrect statement capable of offending feminists and members of the LGBTQ community alike.

Replied Renfield, “Well if the Dalai Lama has a female successor, he probably wants to ensure that she isn’t immediately beheaded by Pan Goatee as soon as she takes office.”

Meanwhile over at the G-20 summit in Osaka Japan the entity known as the Black Dragon (supernatural entity advisor to China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping) ensured that no invisible beings (especially those who were spies and secret agents for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set) were able to enter the room where Xi and Donald Trump held their closed door meeting.

So Set Enterprises were up “shit creek without a paddle” as far as details of that meeting were concerned.

The only thing known for sure about what went on behind closed doors at that meeting was Xi gave Trump a severed needle from a cactus plant to pass along to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Meanwhile in the City of Calgary, Pan Goatee was getting off a bus when he happened to notice a thin ugly gargoyle (as opposed to your usual fat ugly blimp) walking down the street.

“The Dalai Lama doesn’t want you as his successor,” Pan Goatee commented as he beheaded her.

He then walked in the direction of the Public Library where another thin ugly gargoyle had just exited.

“They must have closed the Aesthetics section of the public library today,” Goatee remarked as he beheaded her.

He then walked around to the other side of a shopping mall and entered.

There sitting in front of a Credit Union was an ugly mid sized cow woman with buck teeth bigger than that of Bugs Bunny.

“The Dalai Lama doesn’t want you as his successor either,” Pan Goatee spoke aloud his Sherlockian deduction as he beheaded the ugly creature, “We’re far past the days of Credit Unions headed by It’s A Wonderful Life Jimmy Stewart film characters. Nothing good comes from credit unions anymore.”

He then went to the mall’s food court where he ordered a Vietnamese style submarine sandwich.

After buying half a dozen cans of diet Coke from the Dollar Store, he then exited the mall where he encountered the hideous spectacle of a fat ugly blimp (no doubt who had just come from the pasture where she had been feeding on large quantities of everything).

“Your mama should have told you to worry about your size,” Goatee paraphrased the lyrics of a recent pop song as he beheaded her, “you’re not going to be the successor of the Dalai Lama either.”

Meanwhile over in the City of Rome, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and Interpol agent Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol were trying to stop a satanic sacrifice being performed by certain members of the Vatican College of Cardinals who were also members of a satanic cult.

But since they relied on GPS (at Whitstable’s suggestion) rather than a good old fashioned map and/or street atlas to guide them to their destination, they arrived too late to stop the sacrifice.

The satanist Cardinals had already dispersed and were going off to evening tea in Pope Francis’ apartment to discuss the upcoming Amazon Synod that would be held this October.

As Van Helsing and Whitstable walked back to their hotel, they came across the Countess Draculina (vampiress daughter of Count Dracula) kneeling in the moonlight.

“That looks like a full moon bathing Draculina in the moonlight,” Van Helsing commented, “I didn’t think there was a full moon tonight.”

Whitstable consulted his Farmer’s Almanac book (rather than his smart phone) on this topic and replied, “I guess Selene the Greek Titan goddess of the moon is drawing her chariot across the sky tonight and apparently her chariot is full moon shaped.”

Van Helsing and Draculina went to one of Rome’s hilltop gardens that night where they discussed the moon and other things.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 29th
2019.

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Harvey Tallbanger At The G-20 Summit In Osaka Japan

June 28, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger At The G-20 Summit In Osaka Japan

As Set Enterprises’ secret agent the invisible 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger took a break from eavesdropping on behind the scenes meetings between world leaders at the G-20 Summit in Osaka Japan, he watched a newscast from America on his Dick Tracy style TV watch.

Commercial For American TV News Channel: And coming up on Netflix tonight will be a somewhat incoherent sequel to the 1981 film An American Werewolf In London.
The name of the sequel is A Canadian Pothead In Osaka…

At that moment Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau started to make a commotion at the summit table and so Harvey Tallbanger turned off his watch.

Justin Trudeau (speaking to one of his aides as he has his back turned on China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping) : What’s wrong with the people making table arrangements for this summit? They’ve seated me right next to Xi Jinping the man who got his secret agents to kidnap my pet pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever and hold him hostage in exchange for the release of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canada.

Harvey Tallbanger: I believe they’ve seated countries in alphabetical order and China is after Canada alphabetically speaking among the G-20 countries.

Justin Trudeau: Is that a disembodied voice that was just speaking to me?

Trudeau aide (who was now drinking his 12th Harvey Wallbanger cocktail) : It could be. I myself see a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears and a white floppety tail. I wonder if he’d be willing to play for the Toronto Raptors.

Tallbanger moved on from the summit table to the closed door meeting between Russian President Vladimir Putin and U.S. President Donald Trump.

Trump (to Putin): My intelligence sources inform me that you have developed a new secret weapon. I demand to know what this new secret weapon is.

At that moment, Tallbanger released from the bag that he was carrying a miniature Godzilla that had been genetically created by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The miniature Godzilla approached Donald Trump’s shoes and socks and breathed fire on them disintegrating them in the process.

He then exited out the door followed by a miniature robot toy Energizer bunny who played the song When The Saints Come Marching In on his toy drum.

“What a horrible weapon of mess destruction,” Trump looked at his disintegrated shoes and socks, “imagine what that would be able to do to Caitlyn Jenner’s pantyhose. To say nothing of Kim Kardashian’s authentic trademark kimonos.”

The ghost of 1950s Japanese film actress Yuriko Horikata (who had been accompanying Harvey Tallbanger on his mission) knocked off Trump’s toupee with her parasol when he made this obnoxious statement.

“Weapon of mess destruction indeed,” Putin mused aloud as he looked at Trump’s toupee lying on the floor.

After the day’s summit proceedings, Harvey Tallbanger joined the ghost of Yuriko Horikata for drinks in her favourite Osaka lounge.

Yuriko Horikata: “Harvey, the Wallbanger sipping gentleman on my right here wants to know how it’s possible for a bunny rabbit to grow so tall?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Friday June 28th
2019.

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Harvey Tallbanger In Osaka Japan

June 27, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger In Osaka Japan

Set Enterprises’ secret agent the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh pooka bunny Harvey Tallbanger was currently in Osaka Japan where he would be dropping in on closed door meetings of world leaders behind the scenes where most of the real action would take place.

The tall bunny rabbit was currently sitting in a sushi restaurant in Osaka Japan enjoying some sushi.

Being invisible, Tallbanger until last week had trouble getting service in most places unless someone on those premises had been drinking a cocktail called a Harvey Wallbanger.

However Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had come up with a helpful device.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher had taken a ViewMaster which was a toy popular with kids back in the 1960s and 1970s and made a tweak to it.

The ViewMaster was a special format tiny stereoscope that had corresponding ViewMaster reels which were thin cardboard disks containing 7 stereoscopic 3-D pairs of small transparent colour photographs on film.

When you inserted one of the set of 3 reels (for each topic and/or subject that you’d purchase in a packet of 21 3-D images and a reel storage case) into the ViewMaster, you could look into the ViewMaster and see 3-D images of the photos on each reel.

Dr. Rocher had made a slight change to the ViewMaster (that could easily be carried by secret agent Harvey Tallbanger in his coat pocket) by which if the Welsh pooka bunny rabbit pushed a button on it, he could become visible.

Tallbanger entered the seat yourself sushi restaurant in Osaka, sat down at a comfortable table, pushed a button and soon was ordering dishes of sushi from the very pleasant waitresses that came to his table.

For the main course, Tallbanger ordered the salmon teriyaki.
The salmon teriyaki came with rice.

Accompanying the rice was a small dish of Huy Fong Sriracha sauce which was a Vietnamese/Thai very hot chili sauce.

As Tallbanger ate the salmon teriyaki and the rice that he doused with a sprinkling of Sriracha sauce, he thought of a writer friend of his called Christopher who had lived in Vancouver for four years.

Five nights a week, Christopher would go to a sushi restaurant in downtown Vancouver where he’d order for his main course their delicious salmon teriyaki (for lunch he’d have had either Vietnamese, Thai, Korean, Chinese or Indian in one of the city’s wide assortment of Asian restaurants).

With his rice which accompanied the salmon teriyaki, he’d generally ask for a 2nd or 3rd small dish of Huy Fong Sriracha sauce as he generally liked more than a small sprinkling.

The Japanese waitresses in the restaurant were always amazed by the amount of very hot Sriracha sauce he loved so they came to bring him a large dish of the sauce when he ordered the salmon teriyaki.

Christopher was forced to leave Vancouver in 2016 when the cost of rent soared beyond the limits of the International Space Station.

The soaring rental prices were brought about by the soaring housing prices as Vancouverites scrambled to find accommodation in a very pricey marketplace.

The soaring housing prices were brought about by world global drug syndicates who bought houses in Vancouver as a form of money laundering and would buy at extremely high prices.

The British Columbia provincial government only started to do something about the problem a couple of years ago when the British Columbia Provincial Liberal Party was finally booted out of office (and hopefully sent to the trash heaps of history that they so richly deserve).

By then however it was too late for Christopher who was forced to leave Vancouver and return to his home province of Alberta.

Harvey recalled how Christopher said that last year while sitting in a restaurant in Calgary, he was eating some rice and having Sriracha sauce with it- a great deal.

Another customer asked him, “Wow. You really like that stuff. Don’t you find it hot and spicy?”.

“I like hot and spicy,” Christopher replied.

The customer continued to watch Christopher eat.

The customer said, “You know I live in Vancouver. And the way you down rice with Sriracha reminds me of this restaurant I go to in Vancouver. There the waitresses talk about this legendary customer who used to come in all the time, order the salmon teriyaki and then with his rice, they’d give him a large bowl of Sriracha which he’d douse his rice with. They say they haven’t seen him for a few years and wonder whatever became of him.”

“Would that be the Momo Sushi restaurant on Robson Street in downtown Vancouver?” Christopher asked.

The customer looked stunned, “Yes. How did you know?”.

“Because I was probably that customer,” Christopher answered.

Tallbanger finished his teriyaki salmon along with his rice but no Christopher sized sprinklings of Sriracha sauce on his rice.

He went to find a hotel to stay in.

He managed to track down a cheerful looking and inexpensive hotel.

In the lobby, the clerk asked him, “I hope you don’t mind a room that’s haunted by a ghost.”

“But it’s a very friendly ghost,” the other desk clerk added, “The ghost of Yuriko Horikata a famous film actress of the 1950s here in Japan.”

Tallbanger went to his room where he saw Yuriko Horikata sitting in a chair.


“How do you like Osaka so far?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Thursday June 27th
2019.

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From Steak To Matzah Balls To Peking Duck

June 26, 2019 at 11:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

From Steak To Matzah Balls To Peking Duck

In various places across the globe on June 26th 2019:

“How does one expect me to enjoy my steak dinner if the newspaper at my place at the dinner table has on it a photo of the bodies of an El Salvadorean migrant and his young daughter who drowned in a river on the U.S.-Mexico border?” Donald Trump called out to his British butler and valet, “Lexington, come and turn this paper over to the other side for me.”

Jared Kushner was eating matzah balls and talking by smart phone to his wife Ivanka Trump.

“I just don’t get these Palestinians,” Jared complained to Ivanka, “Here I am offering them a whole bunch of money in what your dad has wisely dubbed the “deal of the century” and all they seem to care about is a state of their own for some reason.”

China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping was enjoying a plate of Peking Duck and getting advice from his supernatural entity advisor known as the Black Dragon prior to heading to the G-20 Summit in Osaka, Japan.

“What’s with these members of the underground Catholic Church anyways?” Xi Jinping complained to the Black Dragon, “I thought after we signed that agreement with Pope Francis’ Vatican last September by which the Pope recognized the bishops in my Xi Jinping approved official Chinese Patriotic Catholic Church that members of the underground Catholic Church would be breaking down the doors to attend Mass in our official churches where the photo of my smiling face is placed pre-eminently above the figure of Christ on the Crucifix.”

“I don’t understand it, your Supreme Celestialness,” the Black Dragon addressed China’s paramount leader, “Very baffling indeed.”

“What was the name of that splendid Cardinal who negotiated the basis of what became the ecumenical deal of the century in my favour?” Xi asked, “And what’s become of him?”.

“His name was Theodore McCarrick,” the Black Dragon replied, “and back on February 13th of this year, he was laicized.”

“Why was such a splendid chap and churchman laicized?” Xi asked over his Peking Duck and wondered why it wasn’t pronounced Beijing?

“It turns out that he was a homosexual predatory priest who molested and raped altar boys and young seminarians for decades,” the Black Dragon replied, “Something that most of his fellow U.S. bishops and even Pope Francis knew about it. However when court prosecutors and state attorneys-general in the U.S. found out about it back on June 20th 2018, that’s when the shit hit the Vatican fan. After Pope Francis immediately replaced the fan, he decided to call an emergency summit of bishops for this past February to deal with the issue of clerical sex abuse.”

“So as a result of all that, McCarrick was laicized?” Xi was incredulous.

“And just a few days ago, it’s been discovered that McCarrick was also a Crowleyite Thelema practicing satanist along with Joseph Cardinal Bernardin the late Cardinal Archbishop of Chicago. Bernardin, like McCarrick, was also a homosexual predatory priest who molested and raped altar boys and young seminarians. Though Bernardin did rape an 8-year-old girl in a satanic ceremony in Charleston South Carolina when he was a young priest back in 1957. The details of which also became publicly revealed the last few days.”

“So you mean to say the members of the underground Catholic Church in China don’t like a Beijing-Vatican deal negotiated on their behalf by a molesting and rape practicing predatory priest who was also a practicing satanist?” Xi wanted to know.

“Apparently not, your Supreme Celestialness,” the Black Dragon answered.

“People never cease to amaze,” Xi bit into his fortune cookie when he suddenly remembered that was a San Francisco Chinese thing to do and not really a Beijing Chinese thing.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 26th
2019.

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Miranda Singh At The Jerusalem Summit

June 25, 2019 at 9:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Miranda Singh At The Jerusalem Summit 

(A Poem Written In Semi-Chaucerian Fashion With Apologies To Geoffrey Chaucer)

Miss Singh walked down the street wearing the bracelets of Kali
She was heading towards a Jerusalem deli 
Now visible again was she
After attending summit of nations 3

Israel, Russia and the U.S.A.
The B.S. was flying at end of day 
John Bolton said all agreed Iran must leave Syria
A statement that to Russian ears was pure diarrhea 

Nikolai Patrushev said it was wrong to brand Iran as destabilizing force in the region 
Even though Trump and Netanyahu say Iranian sins are legion 
In response to new U.S. sanctions enacted by Trump 
unlike chocolates given by mom of Forrest Gump
Hassan Rouhani on Twitter did say
at the dawn of Iranian day,
The Trump White House is “mentally retarded”
Replied Trump, “On insulting people with tweets, don’t get me started”

And so therein lies a tale 
of skull and bones but not at Yale
The kings of West and East
play games of war and peace 

To every word that is uttered by rooftop or behind closed doors
It’s more stupidity than conscious design that leads to wars
An Alexander, Hitler, Napoleon or Caesar may plan conquest 
But the likes of Kaiser Wilhelm are also not among the blessed 
Because bullying and intransigence will put the world to the test.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 25th
2019.

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Miranda Singh At The King David Hotel In Jerusalem

June 24, 2019 at 10:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Miranda Singh At The King David Hotel In Jerusalem

Miranda Singh in the lobby of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem

Miranda Singh the Executive Secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was sitting in the lobby of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem.

Earlier in the day, she had worn Kali’s bracelets of invisibility and had spied on the closed door meeting between U.S. National Security advisor John Bolton and Russian National Security advisor Nikolay Patrushev where the pair had discussed Ukraine, arms control and Venezuela.

Tomorrow there would be a trilateral meeting with Israeli National Security advisor Meir Ben-Shabbat that Miranda Singh would also be attending uninvited.

. . .

In London, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was reading text messages from Miranda Singh.

His personal butler and valet Athelstan was acting as his secretary while Miss Singh was away.

“Athelstan, cancel my invitation to the 6th Annual Nicolas Maduro Invitational Golf Tournament in Caracas next month,” Set directed.

“Very good, sir,” Athelstan made a note of that.

“Athelstan, cancel my invitation to the 1st Annual Volodymyr Zelensky Invitational Golf Tournament in Kiev next month,” Set said after reading another text message.

“Very good, sir,” Athelstan also made a note of that.

“Athelstan, cancel my invitation to the 3rd Annual Donald Trump Display of U.S. Military Power Invitational Golf Tournament at the Mar-a-Lago Club in Florida for next month,” Set announced after reading a third text message.

“Very good, sir,” Athelstan likewise made a note of that.

Set then made a call to his stock broker to invest in a company that would soon be exporting ice to Tuktoyaktuk which is Canada’s northernmost community on the Arctic Ocean.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 24th
2019.

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Reblog of Slow Boats To China?

June 23, 2019 at 8:50 pm (Commentary) (, , , )

I was looking through the 2010 archives here at WP to see if I had posted the eulogy I had written for my dad at his funeral (which was held 9 years ago today) but sadly I hadn’t.
This one from April 2010 was the sole WP post I had made that year.
But reading it now, it was really prophetic.
The totalitarian Matrix I saw taking shape in the world back in 2010 is even more omnipresent now in 2019 than it was back in 2010.

Dracul Van Helsing

Those who know me well know that I love old movies from the 1930s and ’40s.

And one of the things I loved about those old movies were the scenes shot on old steam trains and old passenger cruise ships.

In those days, travel was something that was meant to be savoured.

Enjoying the scenery of land and sea at a leisurely pace.

Today travel seems to be standing in line at airports for hours and hours to eventually move through a booth where you’re gawked at and strip searched by beady eyed perverts in uniforms as the leaders of our respective countries turn into Orwellian Big Brothers and neither they nor we seem to notice.

The line of the U.S.S.R. was, “Your papers, please?”.

The line in today’s world, “May I see some ID, please?”.

Nouns may change but the intent remains the same.

At least the U.S.S.R had…

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Serena The Time Traveler At The Paris Opera House

June 22, 2019 at 9:27 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , )

Serena The Time Traveler At The Paris Opera House

The Paris Opera House.

June 22nd 2019.

And Serena the Time Traveler dressed as a vampiress pirate queen walked the halls of the Paris Opera House.

It was a musical extravaganza being put on at the opera house tonight.

Behind her as she walked was a man dressed as Lenin who would be appearing in a musical sketch about the gunship Aurora putting the Winter Palace in Saint Petersburg in its sights on the night of the Bolshevik Revolution.

Slightly to her right was a woman dressed as a ballerina talking to a man dressed as the artist Toulouse-Lautrec who would be appearing in another musical sketch.

But Serena, former fiancée of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and currently the time traveling companion of the Egyptian god Thoth, did not have her eyes on any member of the cast of the unique artistic production.

She, who had just drained all the blood from a Neo-Nazi after biting his neck, was now casting her blood lust gaze on another individual.

A man who had purchased nuclear warheads from Kazakhstan back in the 1990s.

Those warheads were now scattered throughout various U.S. cities.

Conveniently, there had been rumours circulating in various media back in the 1990s that Iran had purchased nuclear warheads from Kazakhstan.

If attacking oil tankers in the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Oman and getting Iran to shoot down an unmanned drone wasn’t enough to mobilize the American people into pressuring President Trump to wage war on Iran, then perhaps detonating a nuclear warhead in an American city and claiming that Iran was behind it, would do the trick.

9/11 x Infinity as it were.

Serena noticed the man standing there with a huge smirk on his face.

He wasn’t smirking when Serena disembowelled him with her sword.

The curtain rose on the next scene in the musical extravaganza at the Paris Opera House.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 22nd
2019.

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Harvey Tallbanger Gets Trump To Call Off U.S. Military Retaliation Against Iran

June 21, 2019 at 10:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger Gets Trump To Call Off U.S. Military Retaliation Against Iran

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had sent his secret agent the invisible 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger to spy on the meeting of Donald Trump’s Security Council last night.

The security council was made up of Trump, National Security advisor John Bolton, U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Sen. Chuck Schumer and various leading members of both houses of Congress.

Tallbanger hung around as Trump met with various leading Pentagon officials afterwards.

Trump was going to order military retaliation for the downing of a U.S. drone by Iranian forces.
However he happened to ask a general how many people might be killed in a retaliatory strike on Iran.

When the general answered at least 150, the invisible 6 foot 8 bunny rabbit spoke up, “You can’t kill 150 people just for the downing of an unmanned drone.
That’s totally disproportionate to what happened. Besides you shouldn’t be giving the president of Amazon any ideas for when their drone parcel deliveries are taken down either by accident or design.”

Upon hearing the words coming at him from an invisible voice, Trump called off the attack 10 minutes before it happened.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield told Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set that he Renfield would not be named to the cabinet next month even if Boris Johnson won the British Conservative Party leadership and became Prime Minister.

“Apparently most world leaders, friend and foe alike, are resolutely opposed to me becoming Britain’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering,” Renfield informed Athelstan over his 24th glass of brandy of the past half hour.

“I’m most sorry to hear that, sir,” Athelstan brought Renfield another glass of brandy, “Weren’t there any world leaders that spoke in your favour?”.

“Only King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan,” Renfield answered.

“I always admired King Abdullah and Queen Rania,” said Athelstan.

“Most intelligent people do,” Renfield answered.

“How does Boris Johnson feel about this?” Athelstan inquired.

“Hard to say,” Renfield downed his 25th glass of brandy, “Apparently Boris Johnson and his partner Carrie Symonds had a violent argument over the matter last night. Neighbours called police when they heard the commotion. Carrie Symonds told Johnson that he should tell Donald Trump, Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Emmanuel Macron to go fuck themselves along with the members of Britain’s deep dark state. Johnson apparently spilled red wine all over her sofa in response causing the ghost of Orson Welles to weep uncontrollably when he saw it happen.”

. . .

Allatallahbel the vampiress priestess of Baal had marked the morning of the summer solstice by performing human sacrifices in the catacombs below the Vatican.

Pope Francis awakened by the screams had spent the morning pondering what the French Jesuit theologian Pierre Teilhard de Chardin had thought of ETs (extraterrestrials) and whether he had written anything on the subject in his numerous writings.

. . .

Ares the Greek god of war, who had spent the night before celebrating with John Bolton and Mike Pompeo over the possibility of war with Iran, had spent all day today drowning his sorrows after Trump called off military action.

Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom on the other hand was very relieved.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 21st
2019.

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